Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny: My Journey of Recovery
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
So very, very happy for you and your new bride and congratulations on 8 years sober! Sounds like a beautiful wedding and week in paradise, surrounded by love.
Glad that grandpa is rallying, too.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Glad that grandpa is rallying, too.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Do or do not. There is no try.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 635
Hi Family! I am so incredibly sorry that I have not posted here in over half a year. I have meant to but never got around to it..Life has been, well life. Honestly so much has occurred over the last half a year that I would not be able to succinctly sum it up in one post, so I will try to hit on the main ones.
First, and most importantly, I am sober and thriving in recovery. About a year ago, I found a group of guys and we started a mens homegroup/wanderers meeting. These 10 or so guys have become a bedrock in my sobriety. Our meeting feels so incredibly safe. I have gotten more vulnerable with them than anyone ever in my recovery, and it is really neat.
On top of that, I finally changed sponsors a few months ago. One of the guys from my new homegroup agreed to take me on, and that has been challenging and scary and different all in its own right. Being an addict, change is not something I generally embrace and after having the same sponsor for 6 plus years, this was a challenge. But it was time for me to grow with someone new, my old sponsor was living out of state for nearly 2 years already, and I just knew it was time. The old sponsor and I are still very close and talk often, he became one of my truest friends in recovery.
And the new sponsor, he pushes me in ways that make me uncomfortable, which helps me grow even more. This deal is a miracle and a gift and blows my mind every time I stop and ponder it. What an adventure.
So, moving along. Married life is going great. I am so blessed with my wife who is my rock, my partner in adventure, and as cliche as it sounds, my best friend. Challenges have been aplenty, but we are getting through them and coming out stronger. It is hard to not be independent anymore. I am dealing with learning that I have someone else who is a part of me now, and it can be pretty scary when I stop and think about it. But she keeps me moving in the right direction.
Some sad news to share. My grandfather passed away this summer at 94 years old. It was hard watching his health deteriorate over the last year, and even harder watching my father struggle with watching his father die, and the stress and burden that comes along with caring for an elder parent. I am so grateful beyond words that I was sober and cared enough to be there for both my grandfather and father especially in the last year of his life. Grandpa and I spent some awesome time together this last year, and I will always cherish those moments we got to truly bond, where I was actually human enough to want to get to know him and spend time with him. In my past life I would have been way too selfish, and that opportunity would have passed me by with the rest of life. But it didn't have to be that way, and fortunately it wasn't.
I still miss him very much and think of him often, loss and grief never really gets easier the more I experience it, sadly.
Speaking of loss and grief, I also lost another close friend from the program to the disease of addiction. Another beautiful young soul who's life was cut short. We were very close at one point and had sort of fallen out of touch when she was in and out using. Her husband of 2 years, who I am also close with, found her dead in their home. So tragic. Yet a stark reminder of what this disease is capable of. I will always remember her giant warm smile and how much love she would fill a room with when she entered.
One more somber note and then I will share something positive, I promise! I met a man a couple months ago who had it bad. Most of us think we were dealt a **** hand, but this guy really had it. In addition to a heroin addiction and losing his license a year ago, he was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor that may be terminal near the end of 2015. In addition to that, when I met him this summer, his wife was leaving him, and since then he has moved in with his elder mother. His story is incredibly sad and makes me want to cry every time I think of it. It also makes me grateful for the gifts I have in my life. I have had some time getting to know Randy and talking with him, going to a few meetings, etc. I am just trying to be there for him however I can, knowing the **** he is dealing with. I couldn't imagine making it through that myself, and don't want him to feel alone either. Sometimes life can be so sad...
And as for me, I am doing great the past couple months. My old job turned really bad, like REALLY bad. I was awfully depressed, hated my boss, and dreaded getting up in the morning. About 3 months ago I took a new job, and it thus far has been the job of my dreams. A monster raise, more responsibility, more opportunity, people around me who truly want to see me succeed. It has been amazing. Sadly today, I found out my boss is being reassigned. Which is a shame since we both got along great. But I know I can adapt and continue to thrive here, however the fear of again another change is daunting. Such is life.
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my family here, I missed you all and will try to not go absent so long again. On Christmas day my wife and I will be leaving for yet another great adventure, as we set flight to Japan, Cambodia, and Thailand. I can't wait to see where this journey of life takes me next. Love you all!
First, and most importantly, I am sober and thriving in recovery. About a year ago, I found a group of guys and we started a mens homegroup/wanderers meeting. These 10 or so guys have become a bedrock in my sobriety. Our meeting feels so incredibly safe. I have gotten more vulnerable with them than anyone ever in my recovery, and it is really neat.
On top of that, I finally changed sponsors a few months ago. One of the guys from my new homegroup agreed to take me on, and that has been challenging and scary and different all in its own right. Being an addict, change is not something I generally embrace and after having the same sponsor for 6 plus years, this was a challenge. But it was time for me to grow with someone new, my old sponsor was living out of state for nearly 2 years already, and I just knew it was time. The old sponsor and I are still very close and talk often, he became one of my truest friends in recovery.
And the new sponsor, he pushes me in ways that make me uncomfortable, which helps me grow even more. This deal is a miracle and a gift and blows my mind every time I stop and ponder it. What an adventure.
So, moving along. Married life is going great. I am so blessed with my wife who is my rock, my partner in adventure, and as cliche as it sounds, my best friend. Challenges have been aplenty, but we are getting through them and coming out stronger. It is hard to not be independent anymore. I am dealing with learning that I have someone else who is a part of me now, and it can be pretty scary when I stop and think about it. But she keeps me moving in the right direction.
Some sad news to share. My grandfather passed away this summer at 94 years old. It was hard watching his health deteriorate over the last year, and even harder watching my father struggle with watching his father die, and the stress and burden that comes along with caring for an elder parent. I am so grateful beyond words that I was sober and cared enough to be there for both my grandfather and father especially in the last year of his life. Grandpa and I spent some awesome time together this last year, and I will always cherish those moments we got to truly bond, where I was actually human enough to want to get to know him and spend time with him. In my past life I would have been way too selfish, and that opportunity would have passed me by with the rest of life. But it didn't have to be that way, and fortunately it wasn't.
I still miss him very much and think of him often, loss and grief never really gets easier the more I experience it, sadly.
Speaking of loss and grief, I also lost another close friend from the program to the disease of addiction. Another beautiful young soul who's life was cut short. We were very close at one point and had sort of fallen out of touch when she was in and out using. Her husband of 2 years, who I am also close with, found her dead in their home. So tragic. Yet a stark reminder of what this disease is capable of. I will always remember her giant warm smile and how much love she would fill a room with when she entered.
One more somber note and then I will share something positive, I promise! I met a man a couple months ago who had it bad. Most of us think we were dealt a **** hand, but this guy really had it. In addition to a heroin addiction and losing his license a year ago, he was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor that may be terminal near the end of 2015. In addition to that, when I met him this summer, his wife was leaving him, and since then he has moved in with his elder mother. His story is incredibly sad and makes me want to cry every time I think of it. It also makes me grateful for the gifts I have in my life. I have had some time getting to know Randy and talking with him, going to a few meetings, etc. I am just trying to be there for him however I can, knowing the **** he is dealing with. I couldn't imagine making it through that myself, and don't want him to feel alone either. Sometimes life can be so sad...
And as for me, I am doing great the past couple months. My old job turned really bad, like REALLY bad. I was awfully depressed, hated my boss, and dreaded getting up in the morning. About 3 months ago I took a new job, and it thus far has been the job of my dreams. A monster raise, more responsibility, more opportunity, people around me who truly want to see me succeed. It has been amazing. Sadly today, I found out my boss is being reassigned. Which is a shame since we both got along great. But I know I can adapt and continue to thrive here, however the fear of again another change is daunting. Such is life.
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my family here, I missed you all and will try to not go absent so long again. On Christmas day my wife and I will be leaving for yet another great adventure, as we set flight to Japan, Cambodia, and Thailand. I can't wait to see where this journey of life takes me next. Love you all!
The truth shall set you free
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5,267
Hey Pete, good to hear from you my friend. I'm so sorry for your lost. May your memories of your grandfather give you peace and comfort and may the sorrow you feel in your heart lighten by the love that surrounds you.
I'm so happy to hear things are going well for you. I want to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a happy clean and sober new year.
Hugs and prayers
TB
I'm so happy to hear things are going well for you. I want to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a happy clean and sober new year.
Hugs and prayers
TB
Do or do not. There is no try.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 635
It has been over 1 year since I have updated here...I am going to commit to making more frequent updates in the next year. This past 12 months has had its share of highlights and sad days, but overall, has been one of my best years I can remember.
I often look back to the summer of 2012 as one of the highest, fondest times in my life. 5 years sober, I had just emerged from a terribly dark place after losing one of my best friends to the disease of addiction. Overcoming this darkness catapulted me into another level of spirituality and happiness. The fifth dimension, if you will. I had a job I loved, was physically in the best shape of my life, spiritually beyond where I had ever been before, just moved out of my parents house into my own place. I was beaming with life like I had never known it before. Slowly, as they tend to do, things changed and I lost pieces of that serenity here and there. Not in a bad way, just different...
This past 12 months I felt similar flashes of life to those I had previously experienced. I would venture to guess it has a lot to do with balance: Working a good program and doing the deal the best I can, maintaining myself spiritually, physically and mentally, and having a level of acceptance, love, and open mindedness. Don't get me wrong, I have had many moments this past 12 months where I lacked one or many of these components, or even failed miserably at doing the next right thing, but overall it was great progress.
Travel - Which has become one of my favorite hobbies, was plentiful. I began the new year traveling to Japan, Thailand, and Cambodia. Reflecting back now, the new year actually began a train wreck. I was on a party boat on a river in Bangkok with my wife and 2 travel friends from home. I was uncomfortable for whatever reason, perhaps it was the holidays. The people on the boat drinking actually bothered me, something I rarely experience. I began withdrawing from the world and in my mind quickly descended into darkness...It is amazing how fast I can go there at times. My wife was drinking, and was irritating me. I started a fight, hardly even remember the details around it, and the night melted down. And I was trapped on a boat, in a foreign country, with no phone service, and no exit plan. A dangerous situation for any alcoholic, it had to have been God who carried me through that night and into the new year.
That dark night aside, the rest of the trip was an amazing experience. Feeding and bathing with elephants in the cloud forests of Thailand, meeting new people from all corners of the world, dipping my toes into other spiritually tall cultures - it was otherworldly.
Later in the year, I spent time in one of my favorite places in the world, the coastal areas of Maine.
In the summer, we got on a plane and flew to the other side of the world, venturing to Spain, Portugal, and Italy. Some of my fondest moments on that adventure were the little things, the things that when my mind is steady and attuned to the universe that tend to shake me. Brief moments that subtly pool tears in my eyes as they move into my mind and through my soul. Things that that the old me would normally walk right by and not pay a second thought to. A gentle breeze while gazing at something beautiful, quiet chanting from a church, a weed growing in the crack of a roof on top of a 100 foot dome...those kinds of things. When I am in tune with the natural world and universe, those experiences can be quite spiritual, in my experience.
The highlight of experiences this past year was sitting breathless underneath the shadow of the moon. The total solar eclipse of August 2017 was something I had looked towards for many years, since childhood even, and the experience was like nothing I had ever dreamed of. Those 2 minutes and 28 seconds in the middle of nowhere, Southern Illinois were dreamlike in every sense. The curiously different light as totality approached, the breeze that picked up as the shadows crossed our little corner of the world, the crickets that awoke to serenade us mid day...Watching the moon devour the sun until all that was left were a few tiny flickering rays of light, and then absolute peace. I spent only a moment glimpsing the corona of the sun, peering at the naked beacon of life in our world, looking into the soul of the universe. Time seemed to stop and breeze by at the same time, and as the sun slowly emerged from the other side, I felt in that moment like I had seen the God of the Universe, whom I had always known was there, for the first time. This experience truly was my favorite memory of the past 12 months, and one of the greatest of my entire life.
A quick note of sadness I experienced this year, was losing my family dog. He had lived a great life and brought more joy to my family than possibly anything else over the last decade plus. Having to put down an animal I love has proven to be just as difficult, although in a different way, to losing a person I love. It has been several months now, but I still miss him greatly and the now dulled pain is still there in my heart. The happy memories of sharing our lives with him carried my family through the pain, and I will always miss the way he would dance around a room with excitement just to be around us.
This is life, the happy, and the sad. Today I can experience both without having to pick up drugs, and often times without even that notion entering my mind. The absolute greatest gift I have ever received.
Other changes include me going back to school for my Masters degree, a journey I began this year. And my wife and I have started trying to create a family, which in the distance brings a host of new challenges, fears, excitement, and experience on the horizon. But I do feel myself changing in that sense, the fear is less strong and the desire to be a father is greater than it has ever been for me. I look forward to what the future has in store for us.
I wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year and hope to carry a piece of this peace with me into 2018.
Much love,
Pete
I often look back to the summer of 2012 as one of the highest, fondest times in my life. 5 years sober, I had just emerged from a terribly dark place after losing one of my best friends to the disease of addiction. Overcoming this darkness catapulted me into another level of spirituality and happiness. The fifth dimension, if you will. I had a job I loved, was physically in the best shape of my life, spiritually beyond where I had ever been before, just moved out of my parents house into my own place. I was beaming with life like I had never known it before. Slowly, as they tend to do, things changed and I lost pieces of that serenity here and there. Not in a bad way, just different...
This past 12 months I felt similar flashes of life to those I had previously experienced. I would venture to guess it has a lot to do with balance: Working a good program and doing the deal the best I can, maintaining myself spiritually, physically and mentally, and having a level of acceptance, love, and open mindedness. Don't get me wrong, I have had many moments this past 12 months where I lacked one or many of these components, or even failed miserably at doing the next right thing, but overall it was great progress.
Travel - Which has become one of my favorite hobbies, was plentiful. I began the new year traveling to Japan, Thailand, and Cambodia. Reflecting back now, the new year actually began a train wreck. I was on a party boat on a river in Bangkok with my wife and 2 travel friends from home. I was uncomfortable for whatever reason, perhaps it was the holidays. The people on the boat drinking actually bothered me, something I rarely experience. I began withdrawing from the world and in my mind quickly descended into darkness...It is amazing how fast I can go there at times. My wife was drinking, and was irritating me. I started a fight, hardly even remember the details around it, and the night melted down. And I was trapped on a boat, in a foreign country, with no phone service, and no exit plan. A dangerous situation for any alcoholic, it had to have been God who carried me through that night and into the new year.
That dark night aside, the rest of the trip was an amazing experience. Feeding and bathing with elephants in the cloud forests of Thailand, meeting new people from all corners of the world, dipping my toes into other spiritually tall cultures - it was otherworldly.
Later in the year, I spent time in one of my favorite places in the world, the coastal areas of Maine.
In the summer, we got on a plane and flew to the other side of the world, venturing to Spain, Portugal, and Italy. Some of my fondest moments on that adventure were the little things, the things that when my mind is steady and attuned to the universe that tend to shake me. Brief moments that subtly pool tears in my eyes as they move into my mind and through my soul. Things that that the old me would normally walk right by and not pay a second thought to. A gentle breeze while gazing at something beautiful, quiet chanting from a church, a weed growing in the crack of a roof on top of a 100 foot dome...those kinds of things. When I am in tune with the natural world and universe, those experiences can be quite spiritual, in my experience.
The highlight of experiences this past year was sitting breathless underneath the shadow of the moon. The total solar eclipse of August 2017 was something I had looked towards for many years, since childhood even, and the experience was like nothing I had ever dreamed of. Those 2 minutes and 28 seconds in the middle of nowhere, Southern Illinois were dreamlike in every sense. The curiously different light as totality approached, the breeze that picked up as the shadows crossed our little corner of the world, the crickets that awoke to serenade us mid day...Watching the moon devour the sun until all that was left were a few tiny flickering rays of light, and then absolute peace. I spent only a moment glimpsing the corona of the sun, peering at the naked beacon of life in our world, looking into the soul of the universe. Time seemed to stop and breeze by at the same time, and as the sun slowly emerged from the other side, I felt in that moment like I had seen the God of the Universe, whom I had always known was there, for the first time. This experience truly was my favorite memory of the past 12 months, and one of the greatest of my entire life.
A quick note of sadness I experienced this year, was losing my family dog. He had lived a great life and brought more joy to my family than possibly anything else over the last decade plus. Having to put down an animal I love has proven to be just as difficult, although in a different way, to losing a person I love. It has been several months now, but I still miss him greatly and the now dulled pain is still there in my heart. The happy memories of sharing our lives with him carried my family through the pain, and I will always miss the way he would dance around a room with excitement just to be around us.
This is life, the happy, and the sad. Today I can experience both without having to pick up drugs, and often times without even that notion entering my mind. The absolute greatest gift I have ever received.
Other changes include me going back to school for my Masters degree, a journey I began this year. And my wife and I have started trying to create a family, which in the distance brings a host of new challenges, fears, excitement, and experience on the horizon. But I do feel myself changing in that sense, the fear is less strong and the desire to be a father is greater than it has ever been for me. I look forward to what the future has in store for us.
I wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year and hope to carry a piece of this peace with me into 2018.
Much love,
Pete
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
This is really uplifting, Pete.
Recovery let's us live a fairly normal life.
We have the sword of Damocles hanging over our heads when it comes to staying sober.
But we do what it takes to get and stay sober and, in my case, I try to live to God's purpose each day (like the 11th step tells me to do).
Life includes sadness, joy, frustration, fun, happiness, etc.
Except for losing a donkey last year, I had a pretty good year, too.
Any time I can stay sober from 1/1 - 12/31, it's been a fine year.
Recovery let's us live a fairly normal life.
We have the sword of Damocles hanging over our heads when it comes to staying sober.
But we do what it takes to get and stay sober and, in my case, I try to live to God's purpose each day (like the 11th step tells me to do).
Life includes sadness, joy, frustration, fun, happiness, etc.
Except for losing a donkey last year, I had a pretty good year, too.
Any time I can stay sober from 1/1 - 12/31, it's been a fine year.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
That was a beautiful share. I like to read positives here on SR as well.
2017 was the year I got sober, my nine month anniversary is coming up on 1/9.
It's been, to say the least, a challenging year but also probably my best year ever. I've gotten rid of many toxic components of my life and am replacing them with new ones that work better.
Hope to do some travelling in 2018. I missed the eclipse because it just wasn't the right time to go. It's been nearly 6 years since I last traveled internationally, and I'm getting that wanderlust itch.
Hoping 2018 is even better than 2017.
2017 was the year I got sober, my nine month anniversary is coming up on 1/9.
It's been, to say the least, a challenging year but also probably my best year ever. I've gotten rid of many toxic components of my life and am replacing them with new ones that work better.
Hope to do some travelling in 2018. I missed the eclipse because it just wasn't the right time to go. It's been nearly 6 years since I last traveled internationally, and I'm getting that wanderlust itch.
Hoping 2018 is even better than 2017.
Do or do not. There is no try.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 635
Today I celebrate 10 years sober. I just said that out loud and my mind is utterly blown. I spent the last 30 minutes reading back on some of my earlier journal entries from when I first started this journey of recovery, and to imagine sitting here 10 years later, crying tears of happiness while still being absolutely clean and sober is nothing short of a miracle. My lord what a journey it has been. The people I have met along the way who have shaped who I am, the places I have ventured to, the laughs shared, and tears shed...I am so blessed for the gift of sobriety, for a second chance to live in one lifetime, as an old friend in the program used to say.
My life is filled with joy right now. Yesterday was mine and my wife's 2 year wedding anniversary. She completes me in every way and has been the greatest friend, companion, and lover that I ever could have hoped for. I love her more and more every day.
Additionally, we found out about a month ago that we will be bringing a child into this world, God willing this October. I am so happy and excited and curious to learn what being a father will be like. There is also some fear and worry riding along, but I have tools to deal with fear today.
I am grateful for the gifts of sobriety, and owe much of my early recovery to this place, where I first reached out for help. Thanks to all who have been a part of this journey, I look forward to seeing you along the road.
Much love,
Pete
My life is filled with joy right now. Yesterday was mine and my wife's 2 year wedding anniversary. She completes me in every way and has been the greatest friend, companion, and lover that I ever could have hoped for. I love her more and more every day.
Additionally, we found out about a month ago that we will be bringing a child into this world, God willing this October. I am so happy and excited and curious to learn what being a father will be like. There is also some fear and worry riding along, but I have tools to deal with fear today.
I am grateful for the gifts of sobriety, and owe much of my early recovery to this place, where I first reached out for help. Thanks to all who have been a part of this journey, I look forward to seeing you along the road.
Much love,
Pete
Do or do not. There is no try.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 635
Today I went to a memorial service for a good friend who died recently. I met him when I first got sober and he was such an awesome guy. My wife and I attended his wedding a couple years ago, and he had so much going for his life including being midway through his doctorate studies.
Somewhere recently, he hit some bumps in the road and relapsed, and died from a heroin overdose. Absolutely tragic. Standing awkwardly before his father while offering my condolences today, a man I didn't even know, and the shattered look in his eyes - is something I will not soon forget.
Today was a hard day. No matter how many times I have gone through this, it does not seem to get much easier. RIP Alan.
Somewhere recently, he hit some bumps in the road and relapsed, and died from a heroin overdose. Absolutely tragic. Standing awkwardly before his father while offering my condolences today, a man I didn't even know, and the shattered look in his eyes - is something I will not soon forget.
Today was a hard day. No matter how many times I have gone through this, it does not seem to get much easier. RIP Alan.
Do or do not. There is no try.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 635
On October 30th of this year, my wife and I welcomed our son into this world. When I pause for a moment to think of the sharp and drastic turns along the winding road of recovery this journey has taken me on, nothing compares to this experience.
My wife's labor was an intense day of patience and love, one that recovery and God had been working in my life for years to prepare me for. I was able to support her through the entire journey, helping her achieve her goal of an unmedicated birth. It was God with me in that room; fears and feelings of inadequacy completely cast aside so that I could help coach her through the most trying moment in her life. Love was the only emotion that existed within me for those 9 hours, and it was such a beautiful adventure. As she neared the end of it all, just as she began to push, cracks of thunder roared out as lightning streaked across the sky, the result of a rare late October storm. Seriously, it could have been written in a movie script.
Just before 9pm central time we welcomed our baby boy into the world, healthy and full of life from the very moment he joined us. The weeks since have been filled with moments of realizations of my blessings, right alongside fears, doubts, and frustrations that expectedly accompany raising a newborn baby. Ultimate happiness and total frustration commonly swing the pendulum, at times in a moments change. Life has been fun, hard, challenging, and at times even confusing. But I consider this one tremendous gift. I cannot believe the person who sat down almost 11 years ago to share his utter despairs in this very forum, is the same man now happy, joyous, and free...Sharing his life and love with a tiny human.
What a gift. What a life sobriety has given me. I have nothing but gratitude in this moment, and wanted to share it here.
Much love,
Pete
My wife's labor was an intense day of patience and love, one that recovery and God had been working in my life for years to prepare me for. I was able to support her through the entire journey, helping her achieve her goal of an unmedicated birth. It was God with me in that room; fears and feelings of inadequacy completely cast aside so that I could help coach her through the most trying moment in her life. Love was the only emotion that existed within me for those 9 hours, and it was such a beautiful adventure. As she neared the end of it all, just as she began to push, cracks of thunder roared out as lightning streaked across the sky, the result of a rare late October storm. Seriously, it could have been written in a movie script.
Just before 9pm central time we welcomed our baby boy into the world, healthy and full of life from the very moment he joined us. The weeks since have been filled with moments of realizations of my blessings, right alongside fears, doubts, and frustrations that expectedly accompany raising a newborn baby. Ultimate happiness and total frustration commonly swing the pendulum, at times in a moments change. Life has been fun, hard, challenging, and at times even confusing. But I consider this one tremendous gift. I cannot believe the person who sat down almost 11 years ago to share his utter despairs in this very forum, is the same man now happy, joyous, and free...Sharing his life and love with a tiny human.
What a gift. What a life sobriety has given me. I have nothing but gratitude in this moment, and wanted to share it here.
Much love,
Pete
Do or do not. There is no try.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 635
It has been some time since my last update, and with all that is currently going on in this tragically scary, crazy world, I needed to come here and reflect on where I have been and where I am now, and remember all the joy sobriety has allowed to enter my life.
Today is my wife and my 4 year wedding anniversary. That is one of my greatest memories to venture to; us standing in the little church in Mexico, beaming with love and happiness, surrounded by people we love and who love us, exchanging vows amidst the backdrop of the ocean. That memory carries me through fear.
The memory of my son coming into this world, instinctively reaching down to touch his hand as I looked into his eyes for the first time, in that moment a bond that will last a lifetime was formed. Another profound memory that I often escape to in scarier times.
The places I have been on this great adventure of life and sobriety, the people I have met who have changed me in ways unimaginable before beginning this journey, those memories carry me with hope and faith.
Tomorrow, God willing I will celebrate 12 years of sobriety. I never could have imagined a life free from the demons of addiction, let alone one where I deserved all of the countless blessings that I have experienced along the way. As I sit here reflecting, a month deep into a quarantine caused by a global pandemic of catastrophic proportions-in this moment I have no fear. Only love, faith, and hope.
The past year has been fulfilling and challenging beyond anything I have ever experienced. Raising a baby into a boy, celebrating his one year of life, learning to still make time for the people I love, keeping my sobriety a priority, the realization that another human depends on me and the required sacrifices to provide for him; these have all changed me.
These are trying times for everyone. A couple phrases that have helped me deal with the fear and uncertainty: "it hasn't happened yet" and "this too shall pass". Brighter days are surely to follow these troubled times. Sending my love to all who still venture to these boards and come across this post.
Today is my wife and my 4 year wedding anniversary. That is one of my greatest memories to venture to; us standing in the little church in Mexico, beaming with love and happiness, surrounded by people we love and who love us, exchanging vows amidst the backdrop of the ocean. That memory carries me through fear.
The memory of my son coming into this world, instinctively reaching down to touch his hand as I looked into his eyes for the first time, in that moment a bond that will last a lifetime was formed. Another profound memory that I often escape to in scarier times.
The places I have been on this great adventure of life and sobriety, the people I have met who have changed me in ways unimaginable before beginning this journey, those memories carry me with hope and faith.
Tomorrow, God willing I will celebrate 12 years of sobriety. I never could have imagined a life free from the demons of addiction, let alone one where I deserved all of the countless blessings that I have experienced along the way. As I sit here reflecting, a month deep into a quarantine caused by a global pandemic of catastrophic proportions-in this moment I have no fear. Only love, faith, and hope.
The past year has been fulfilling and challenging beyond anything I have ever experienced. Raising a baby into a boy, celebrating his one year of life, learning to still make time for the people I love, keeping my sobriety a priority, the realization that another human depends on me and the required sacrifices to provide for him; these have all changed me.
These are trying times for everyone. A couple phrases that have helped me deal with the fear and uncertainty: "it hasn't happened yet" and "this too shall pass". Brighter days are surely to follow these troubled times. Sending my love to all who still venture to these boards and come across this post.
Do or do not. There is no try.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 635
So it’s been a couple years since I’ve posted here…
Probably way more to update than I could remember, as expected life has has its ups and downs and I am still clean and sober. I celebrated 14 years on Sunday and 6 years of marriage the day before that, I have so much to be grateful for.
My son is now 3 and a half and he is a little monster and I’m so madly in love with him. Seeing the world through his eyes is beyond amazing. My wife and I have tried to have more babies but have had a string of rather tragic outcomes since my son was born, but we too keep trudging on and healing through those experiences, hoping to one day make another healthy baby but beyond grateful for the one we have.
One of my best friends in early recovery died from the disease a few months ago, I ******* miss him so much still and am still slowly walking through the grief. It gets better some days and then out of nowhere a memory slams me into reality and again I am sad over his loss.
This is sober life. The road goes up, the road goes down, it’s still the road. I continue to live an active program of recovery and no matter which way the road goes, and am able to navigate any situation without deciding that a drink or a drug sounds like a reasonable solution.
Probably way more to update than I could remember, as expected life has has its ups and downs and I am still clean and sober. I celebrated 14 years on Sunday and 6 years of marriage the day before that, I have so much to be grateful for.
My son is now 3 and a half and he is a little monster and I’m so madly in love with him. Seeing the world through his eyes is beyond amazing. My wife and I have tried to have more babies but have had a string of rather tragic outcomes since my son was born, but we too keep trudging on and healing through those experiences, hoping to one day make another healthy baby but beyond grateful for the one we have.
One of my best friends in early recovery died from the disease a few months ago, I ******* miss him so much still and am still slowly walking through the grief. It gets better some days and then out of nowhere a memory slams me into reality and again I am sad over his loss.
This is sober life. The road goes up, the road goes down, it’s still the road. I continue to live an active program of recovery and no matter which way the road goes, and am able to navigate any situation without deciding that a drink or a drug sounds like a reasonable solution.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
