marinadances

Hey everyone, me again (I have posted a few times). I stayed with my boyfriend after finding out he got addicted to heroin. He started at a methadone clinic 2 days after I found out. We have had our ups and downs and misunderstandings, but I'm happy to say things are 100x better and he has actually been at 1mg since the end of last December. Our relationship is deeply improved because he chose to be transparent and share in his process. Meanwhile, I have taken everyone's advice here about taking care of myself. I started a fitness program (T25!) and have worked on myself quite a bit. Now we've both learned a lot and much of our love is better than before. At the end of this month my boyfriend is detoxing from 1mg at my place. I have seen him miss a dose before and it didn't seem so bad except his muscles twitching like CRAZY. Also, since it surprised him, he had extra anxiety. He is staying at my place for 1-3 weeks and during this time we see searching for a new place for him to stay when he is over the hill, because he will need a change of environment to match his new sober life. I know detox is highly individualized, but I am wondering if you can provide me with some advice. What an I really expect during detox? How should I act? Should I leave the house and leave him alone? Should I comfort him? Should I be pushy about him eating correctly, taking hot baths, etc? OR should I be he opposite of pushy and just let him be? How should my disposition be? I'm just sort of anxious about the whole thing. He remains positive, but his main concern is how his perspective might change. He said he is afraid to look at his life when he is finally off this drug. I told him 1mg isn't masking that much... And that he has been processing his guilt and pain ALREADY. I gave the analogy that it might be like taking off sunglasses and seeing your life in the light... Maybe not everything is pretty, but that IS life. I asked him to work on forgiving himself because both God and I already have, and it seems integral that he forgives himself in order to move on. ANY advice about the lead up to this detox, during it, it after it will be much appreciated. Best, Marina

Coldfusion

Hello Marina!

I don't have any experience with opiate addiction, but my best advice is for your boyfriend to join this forum. There are many recovered opiate addicts who regularly post supporting each other.

There are whole sections of this forum for Friends and Family of addicts. Read around and post often!

Marcus

Hey Marin. So he has been on 1 mg of methadone for over 2 months? I would think he would have been tired of going in to dose on such a low amount. I have seen people up as high as 300 mg a day (and heard of people on more than that). I think normally 80-120 is pretty common so his body should be well adjusted at this point. Some people jump at 5, 10, or even 20 (or more which I don't recommend) and usually are not on a dose for more than 2 weeks before stepping down.

I guess normally people get pretty moody when coming off opiates. I definitely did not want to be nagged. I felt bad about snapping back sometimes, but it is a bit of a roller coaster and emotions can get the best of you. If it were me I wouldn't want to see my wife changing her lifestyle to baby me. Keep working on yourself and if he wants to talk about it he most likely will. You shouldn't have to drag it out of him.

I am still amazed 1 mg for 2+ months. It will probably be more of a mental struggle than a physical one. Yes missing a day is not that terrible due to the long half life of methadone. Usually it takes several days to really feel it which is discouraging to some because they think they are out of the woods only to be pulled back in a bit. If he wants to stay sober this should be a minor speed bump. Keep posting and take care!

marinadances

Hey Marcus,

Yes I think it's more mental than anything, that's why he kept going for only 1mg. He said in the past that this 1mg means so much for his body. I'm not sure how much is his mind playing tricks on him. But what comforts me is he said that knowing withdrawal is coming is much easier to deal with than being surprised by it, honestly he started with sneezing, Nasel congestion around 4pm on a Sunday after missing his dose. I'm not sure if it happened quicker because it's a low dose? Then his muscles went crazy around 2am along with insomnia. He himself told me that is probably as bad as it will get because he's so low anyway.

I'm scared honestly because we have never lived together, but in order to give him the best chance at beating this he is going to detox at my place and while here look for a new place to live. He agreed changing the environment is important. He doesn't live an apt currently it's more like a glorified hostel where he jut has a little furnished room. It's not in a good part of town. So that's why he can't go back to that place. It was my idea to have him do it this way and he completely agreed without reservations.

I am also scared because he doesn't know how the world is going to look in his eyes after this is done. I'm afraid when this is done, what happens with us? No one can say for certain.

Firesong

I think you are being a very good friend, marinadances.
I don't know enough to give you any advice or suggestions or anything, but I have been sort of where you are with a good friend and I am glad you are being there for your friend. I hope and pray it will work out well for you both. I think that sometimes all we can be is a friend and "be there" for our friends.
I wish I could offer some helpful advice!