Mooring Lines
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Mooring Lines
A tool I find useful is derived from the Heirarchy of Values (https://www.smartrecovery.org/hierarchy-of-values/) It's called Mooring Lines (https://www.smartrecovery.org/moorin...s-in-recovery/)
I think of each "value" as one of my mooring lines and I don't limit them to five.In addition to seven mooring lines I have two anchors. While a mooring line can break (no longer be available or relevant), or slip, my anchors are solid and permenant. Here is my example:
Mooring Lines in no particular order - Health, Family/Puppy, Orchid Hobby, Riding my Honda Super Cub, SCUBA & Snorkeling, Keeping a Journal & SMART meeting, Maintaining my Property as a personal park.
Anchors - Antabuse (every day), Integrity/Code of Honor.
What are some things you consider your mooring lines?
I think of each "value" as one of my mooring lines and I don't limit them to five.In addition to seven mooring lines I have two anchors. While a mooring line can break (no longer be available or relevant), or slip, my anchors are solid and permenant. Here is my example:
Mooring Lines in no particular order - Health, Family/Puppy, Orchid Hobby, Riding my Honda Super Cub, SCUBA & Snorkeling, Keeping a Journal & SMART meeting, Maintaining my Property as a personal park.
Anchors - Antabuse (every day), Integrity/Code of Honor.
What are some things you consider your mooring lines?
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For me its being of service, continuing to find meaning in my existence and not wishing to cause my loved ones any more pain.
I also need to stay as healthy as I can as I leave middle age behind and head into 'elderly' territory.
I'm enjoying life and living authentically - makes a relapse ever more unlikely IMO.
D
I also need to stay as healthy as I can as I leave middle age behind and head into 'elderly' territory.
I'm enjoying life and living authentically - makes a relapse ever more unlikely IMO.
D
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The fourth point (not step) in SMART is living a balanced life. All of the tools are designed to lead toward that. Mooring lines and vital absorbing creative intrests are important things in my recovery and actually living life. It took a long time and a lot of help, but I feel stronger and happier than ever. Nice to have stopped punishing myself.
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One of the inportand tools/abilities that SMART promotes is dealing with irrational beliefs. Recently I was discussing with my therapist how all these ghosts from my past are haunting me - things that I did or said. With irrational beliefs I ask "Is this helpful?" If not discard the thought. My therapist told me "Can you do anything about it? If not, let it go and learn from it". That helped me focus on today and not the past.
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Looks like I may be losing one of my mooring lines. My wife and I went up to Lake George (Hearthston Point State Park) yesterday where she paddled while I snorkeled and tried a shallow dive with minimal equipment (monkey dive). I was not very able to climb over the rocks for entry/exit and putting on and taking off the wetsuit, under layers, and other gear was exhausting. And I needed 16 pounds of lead to descend. I have to think deeply wether I am capable of taking another dive trip.
I was hoping go to Bonaire (location of my first dive trip and numerous of others). If I did dive from shore it would have to be only at several easy entry/exits. Fortunately three of those are favorites. I should be able to do boat dives and snorkel - BUT doing two boat dives each morning and an afternoon or evening shore dive may be much more than I can handle. And if I can do this dive trip it's almost surely the last I will be able to take.
I finally sent in my passport renewal with expedite status. It may arrive in time for a trip before my shoulder replacement in October. New York DIvers Association is having a dive at Blue Mountain Lake from a pontoon boat. I'm planning on using that as a test to see if I can actually still dive from a boat in full gear. It's going to be a very difficult thing to give up and it's triggering me in a way that I haven't felt for a long time.
I was hoping go to Bonaire (location of my first dive trip and numerous of others). If I did dive from shore it would have to be only at several easy entry/exits. Fortunately three of those are favorites. I should be able to do boat dives and snorkel - BUT doing two boat dives each morning and an afternoon or evening shore dive may be much more than I can handle. And if I can do this dive trip it's almost surely the last I will be able to take.
I finally sent in my passport renewal with expedite status. It may arrive in time for a trip before my shoulder replacement in October. New York DIvers Association is having a dive at Blue Mountain Lake from a pontoon boat. I'm planning on using that as a test to see if I can actually still dive from a boat in full gear. It's going to be a very difficult thing to give up and it's triggering me in a way that I haven't felt for a long time.
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I hope you find you can still dive Charon.
I find I can't do a lot of things I used to be able to - and some of those losses have depressed me and led to self pity episodes until I found a new 'mooring line'.
Drinking would only exacerbate that depressive/angry feeling.
D
I find I can't do a lot of things I used to be able to - and some of those losses have depressed me and led to self pity episodes until I found a new 'mooring line'.
Drinking would only exacerbate that depressive/angry feeling.
D
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I sent my passport renewal in expedited. Supposed to be bac 7-9 weeks. Once I get it I will see where I can get a flight to. I WIL take one more trip and find if I can still dive. If not I will snorkel and come home knowing for sure .
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Thanks, Dee. I started investigating places to stay on Bonaire and contacted the dive company I've always used. I checked flights in early september and decided that since this is almost certainly my last dive trip I will fly 1st class. I've had to take mandatiry withdrawals from my 401K and haven't spent any of the money since 2020 - first covid, then broken heel, then shoulder replacement. I need to treat myself for once.
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Can't fit into some of my wet insulation so I'm doing a minimal replacement. Short sleeve full front zip top and some shorts. Won't need much because I expect to do way more snorkeling locally than diving.. COntinuing to plan for Bonaire.
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My new insulation came and it's great. Fits perfectly and is so much easier to get into and out of. Can't wait to get wet.
This weekend I'm going to have to rely on my mooring lines more than usual. My brother and his wife are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Four events I have to attend over today and tomorrow. My sister is hosting a lunch for her daughter & her husband. They are visiting from down south and we seldom get to see them.
Last summer my sister poked a hornets nest that was just settling down that was none of her effing business. Since then not a word of apology to my son and his wife, nor my wife and myself. I don't want to get into it with her but ... This is a recurring theme with her. My wife wants to be civil which actually means appeasement and no accountability for her actions (my sister's). I. on the other hand, have had it. I will be as civil as I can be, but I'm not going to pretend, give her a hug, or any other sign that she's other than on my $hit list.
I've already told my brother and his wife that if it looks like something is going to happen I will just disappear. I was going to skip the lunch she's having but I thought it better to have the first awkward encounter away from the main party, which is this evening.
To keep myself sane around all the social interaction and some people drinking, some to excess I'm going to be riding my scooter (Honda Super Cub) to as many events as I can - probably three of the four. I take back roads, with little to no traffic and great scenery. Takes longer - but that's the point. LOL I'll be passing near the dive shop I used to use so I might take the 19 cf that's empty and drop it off for a fill this morning. THat way they will have time to top it off after it cools and I can get it this evening or tomorrow late morning.
This weekend I'm going to have to rely on my mooring lines more than usual. My brother and his wife are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Four events I have to attend over today and tomorrow. My sister is hosting a lunch for her daughter & her husband. They are visiting from down south and we seldom get to see them.
Last summer my sister poked a hornets nest that was just settling down that was none of her effing business. Since then not a word of apology to my son and his wife, nor my wife and myself. I don't want to get into it with her but ... This is a recurring theme with her. My wife wants to be civil which actually means appeasement and no accountability for her actions (my sister's). I. on the other hand, have had it. I will be as civil as I can be, but I'm not going to pretend, give her a hug, or any other sign that she's other than on my $hit list.
I've already told my brother and his wife that if it looks like something is going to happen I will just disappear. I was going to skip the lunch she's having but I thought it better to have the first awkward encounter away from the main party, which is this evening.
To keep myself sane around all the social interaction and some people drinking, some to excess I'm going to be riding my scooter (Honda Super Cub) to as many events as I can - probably three of the four. I take back roads, with little to no traffic and great scenery. Takes longer - but that's the point. LOL I'll be passing near the dive shop I used to use so I might take the 19 cf that's empty and drop it off for a fill this morning. THat way they will have time to top it off after it cools and I can get it this evening or tomorrow late morning.
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Lunch was awkward at times. I expected that. Waved off phony hug from my sister and got a disgusted look and a wave of dismissal (essentially a FU). She didn't show the least bit of surprise that I wouldn't hug so it's pretty obvious she knows why but feels she's entitled to do whatever she wants with no consequence. Sorry - NOT.
Evening event was fine - except that my sisters son-in-law tested positive for covid that afternoon. He and my niece stayed home. All the rest came to the event. Are you kidding me? They are all packed together in a small cottage and they attend a crowded event with very many elderly people? WOW
They all showed up for the morning brunch at my son's without masks. They were inside and out, mingling without masks. My sister must have said something to My cousin because he started giving me the cold shoulder. Oh well.
The evening pizza party at my niece's (brother's daughter) home was moved elsewhere because she has a very at risk daughter. I decided to skip the evening pizza party. Used covid as an excuse but basically I'm socialized out and this morning was awkward and uncomfortable. I stayed at home with my 4½ pound dog and hung a trellis up for a row of Grandpa Ott's morning glorys. Ruthless (my dog) supervised. Then we played and cuddled on the couch and watched the Gold Cup.
Fortunately my moorings held all weekend. I rode the Super Cub to and from the events at the lake and rode with my wife to the big event. At the event I avoided my sister & her family completely as there was a huge croud. I was surprised that with an open bar I saw very little over drinking. There were even quite a few people not drinking at all. I enjoyed a cranberry and seltzer. That's my go to drink at an open bar.
Now I'm wearing a mask at hom and getting no hugs because my wife has a critical trip to her brother's farm for an annual event that she's in charge of. We just can't take the chance of her getting sick or carrying covid there. Again a lot of elderly, at risk people will be attending. Thanks sis.
Evening event was fine - except that my sisters son-in-law tested positive for covid that afternoon. He and my niece stayed home. All the rest came to the event. Are you kidding me? They are all packed together in a small cottage and they attend a crowded event with very many elderly people? WOW
They all showed up for the morning brunch at my son's without masks. They were inside and out, mingling without masks. My sister must have said something to My cousin because he started giving me the cold shoulder. Oh well.
The evening pizza party at my niece's (brother's daughter) home was moved elsewhere because she has a very at risk daughter. I decided to skip the evening pizza party. Used covid as an excuse but basically I'm socialized out and this morning was awkward and uncomfortable. I stayed at home with my 4½ pound dog and hung a trellis up for a row of Grandpa Ott's morning glorys. Ruthless (my dog) supervised. Then we played and cuddled on the couch and watched the Gold Cup.
Fortunately my moorings held all weekend. I rode the Super Cub to and from the events at the lake and rode with my wife to the big event. At the event I avoided my sister & her family completely as there was a huge croud. I was surprised that with an open bar I saw very little over drinking. There were even quite a few people not drinking at all. I enjoyed a cranberry and seltzer. That's my go to drink at an open bar.
Now I'm wearing a mask at hom and getting no hugs because my wife has a critical trip to her brother's farm for an annual event that she's in charge of. We just can't take the chance of her getting sick or carrying covid there. Again a lot of elderly, at risk people will be attending. Thanks sis.
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My wife is away for a week so I need my mooring lines more than usual. I got the outside work done early, before it got hot. This afternoon I'm planning to ride my scooter to a nearby river and do some snorkeling. Then this evening I have a SMART meeting. I'm taking antabuse so I am very safe. I just need to reinforce how much better I feel, how much more I get done, and how much happier I am sober.
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Got to ride my scooter over to see my daughter and grandaughter (17 months). Spent several hours there. That little girl is a perpetual motion machine and not a thing misses her attention. It's really wonderful to watch her grow. So glad they live locally. Got to see my son-in-law as well as he was working from home. All around great visit.
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