equus

"Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people."

-George Bernard Shaw

I get this - not going along blindly, making changes and a certain self belief but I also like to think of myself as reasonable.

I try to be reasonable but to still ask myself to have the courage to challenge. I try but how can I ever know how far I succeed? I know sometimes what I've stood for is right, at work certainly there have been times where I may be the only one saying it in the room and yet I will. Yet I never REALLY know where the line is between courage and integrity or downright unreasonableness.

I think of myself as a tenaciously loyal person yet if my best friend, husband, workmate, or brother crossed a line I felt caused real harm to others I would say so. Sometimes I think without that I'm just the same as anyone else in history turning a blind eye, other times I question whether to even think this way is arrogance.

One person will say I am arrogant and unreasonable, then another says it's because the first is threatened - how can I know which one is telling me the truth? I'd like to say I'll trust those closest to me but I also know that means trusting those most biased.

Change is needed in all sorts of places, I can't excuse to myself having no responsibility for being a part of that but where is the line? Where's the line between arrogance and ureasonableness or courage and integrity?

indigo

I think people have so many different values that they draw there own line, of course not everyone...feels judgemental I think we can walk to our own pace and hope it's the right choice.

indie

equus

It's weird though - how can we/I really know? I work with kids so for me a live and let live attitude if I think something is wrong is a no no - but there's always a middle area. Things like people bad mouthing the kids (I HATE that!!) but being the only one saying it's not OK or needed can look unreasonable - or is it unreasonable?

Five

Eq, if your truly think people would suffer because of an action, and you could prevent that suffering, then who cares whether people find it unreasonable.

I know where your coming from. People who hate, with irrational passion, Political Correctness, annoy me to. PC is harmless, but it has so much hate directed toward it - for no reason. Do I say to people what the "hell is wrong with a bit of PC?", no - I keep it to myself, which perhaps I shouldnt.

doorknob

Nope. If someone doesn't speak up, then nothing changes. If one person voices their concern, then it gives others who may not have said anything otherwise, the confidence to speak up as well.

equus

That's what I figure and do - then wonder and worry, especially if it's left me stuck out like a sore thumb. I still do it though because I'd want someone else to if it was me on the other end.

Five - I once thought one thing about political correctness but I don't anymore. I think hearing from a guy I know with CP about being called 'spastic' half his life and knowing I used to call being clumsy a 'spak attack' - I changed. A bit like when I was about twelve and realised that calling the local shop the Paki shop wasn't ok. I listen and think and I suppose the acid test is still how would I feel if it was aimed at me - I don't know what else I can think really. I'm grateful for the people that nudged me into changing and there's no way I'd go back.