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Old 07-22-2015, 02:58 PM
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theory

'Recovery' and its associated narratives is an attempt mid life to form neural connections ordinarily formed in most normal drinkers. That's why there's such a heavy emphasis on moral restitution, creative visualization, logical systems. Essentially, we're trying to fill in the blanks on flawed neural chemistry by creating novel pathways of thought to compensate for the atrophied areas...I'm sure someone has had this thought before.

The upshot though is that the novelty of cessation of suffering from suffering is so intense that it isn't taken for granted.

A hypothesis: "working at it" from any novel angle does this.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:30 PM
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That seems essentially right to me. A good thing is that, supposedly, people can change which neural pathways are too weak or too strong through practice. Lifering calls it empowering your sober self. SMART and REBT have a central theme that people train themselves into addiction and can train themselves out of addiction. The training modifies one's neural pathways, supposedly.
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Old 07-22-2015, 06:47 PM
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I think that's why programs often have a strong emphasis on "doing" things, actions, especially in response to triggers - you're training your brain, just like you train in sports until everything becomes automatic and you don't need to think before reacting. How that relates to normal drinkers, though, I don't know. All those programs and groups have permanent happy abstinence as the goal, not retraining your brain to be able to drink normally.
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Old 07-23-2015, 04:15 AM
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I think it is a two fold issue: one part is related to behaviors and the other is related to healing. We can logically determine that drinking needs to stop, but our brains are sending out impulses to use again. Focusing on behaviors distracts us from the impulses, allows time to let the brain heal and restores most normal cognitive functioning. However, the old reward associations are still present (i.e. alcohol = good) and can be fired back up by drinking again.

Normal brains will send signals to avoid actions that harm a person, which is why normal drinkers will stop. Their brains have not become altered through addiction. However, if they want to adapt a new habit, then they still need to focus on actions.
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Old 07-23-2015, 09:54 AM
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From the first time I tried alcohol ( and subsequently marijuana and then cocaine,lsd, various other chemicals) I really really liked the state of intoxication induced by them. Eventually that enjoyment lead to the negative consequences and discomfort , but since the enjoyment of the intoxication never waned , I could always rely on the experience of the enjoyment , even if it proved to be fleeting. Doing that long enough lead to me feeling as if the only two choices left were one full time intoxication , partly from the physical discomfort of withdrawl and also of the psychological need or want to not look at the 'situation' , or giving up intoxicating myself .
Evolutionary 'roots', neural pathway ect... for too generalized for my recovery from my addiction(s),they were far too phenotypical.
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Old 07-23-2015, 09:59 AM
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You could look at it from another way and say that the frontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for higher reasoning, creates a rich experience. People who for whatever reason are unable to adapt have issues with this part of the brain, which is where alcohol comes in to create artificially the joys that they can't readily access.

For myself personally I have huge issues with people, have these OCD traits, issues with anger management, with navigating human environments: deficits that must be less of an issue to a lot of people. Or maybe I focus on these deficits way more because I never learned to factor human frailty. Maybe my brain is just undeveloped in a way, and my 'recovery' is an attempt at learning things ordinarily learned in one's early 20s late teens.

Or maybe this sort of stunted frontal lobe action is commonplace in a society that fosters and values childish behavior, and that alcohol and self-medication is ultimately resistant, geared toward awakening.

This might also explain why I am annoyed by what I perceive to be myopic certainties and rote learnings of all the recovery schools. Maybe they are all a part of the solution, but betray themselves by becoming the cause.
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Old 07-23-2015, 10:17 AM
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perhaps
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Old 07-23-2015, 10:46 AM
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I've always been skiddish and in November it will have been 4 years since I backed away, threw in the towel, went in search of solid ground to stand on. I've been running away, toward, trying to find a place in society, in human frailty, in time. Therapy, AA, books, meetups, distrusting my dreams, trying to find respect, to figure out adulthood. It's very hard. At the end of the day I seem to find myself in the same corner, alone.

I feel like the 'evolved' social, collective response is usually, shut the f**k up.
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