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Old 03-07-2011, 11:03 PM
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Has anyone else found.....

Has anyone else found that thoughts or feelings they had before they started drinking or using are coming up again in recovery?
It's been happening to me quite a bit, thing is I was 18 when I started using hard and I'm now 30 so it worries me a little.
Is this a normal sort of thing for those in recovery or is it a sign that the vicious circle is coming around again?
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Old 03-08-2011, 12:46 AM
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I think this is pretty normally...you repressed emotion by using...now emotions are surging back and you have no coping mechanisms ...I am working on it with my coach
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Old 03-08-2011, 12:52 AM
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Yeah...it was really bad. I got help.

I now go to therapy and take meds for depression. Things are much better.
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Old 03-08-2011, 01:41 AM
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Thanks, glad it isn't just me I also have a psychologist I see pretty regularly and am on meds for depression. I guess they aren't big issues that are coming up, most of the big stuff I've dealt with already in therapy.
LaFemme, reading alot of old posts on here and I've noticed you mention a life coach a few times, how does that work? Are they a counsellor or something completely different?
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Old 03-08-2011, 09:06 AM
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Beardo...a Life Coach is very similar to a therapist except that instead of looking into our past to figure out why we have our current issues, we identify our current issues and have exercises about how to move around them....sort of a "get over it" approach. We don't ignore the past and it does come up from time to time but it's not the main focus.

For instance, my family is coming for a visit this weekend, a fact that was causing me stress...instead of figuring out why it was causing me stress or analyzing that we came up with a plan to get rid of the stress.

You also use a LC more to get over a singular (or two) specific problem or obstacle. So, for instance, we focus on what's holding me back from achieving my dreams of being a full time artist, and secondarily my family relationships (they are kind of linked anyway). I do not use her to work through my relationship with alcohol, I had dealt with the basics of that before I started working with her, by removing that from my life I was able to have the clarity of emotion to work with her on the big ssues.

i hope that explanation is accurate and helpful!
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Old 03-08-2011, 09:33 AM
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LaF do LC's get to wear sweats and blow a whistle?

You know I am kidding, you are doing awesome. I like the pragmatism of dealing with what is at hand. I had a (not a life) coach in college whose motto was "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it." I thought he was a moron at the time, now I kinda like the kick butt and take names later approach. As long as you honest and humble, the approach has a lot of merit. I can see how having a neutral observer would help you stay on course.

Hang in there Beardo.
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Old 03-08-2011, 07:04 PM
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Ha ha! I'm going to tell her she needs a whistle we work over the phone so far all I know she could be wearing sweats or anything especially for that matter.
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Old 03-08-2011, 08:39 PM
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Has anyone else found that thoughts or feelings they had before they started drinking or using are coming up again in recovery?

Well yes, but this is a very positive aspect of my recovery. I started drinking at 15, and I was very goal oriented, I was friendly and outgoing but not egocentric, and I was a very positive person. I felt I had a grip on life and I knew where I wanted to go. Once I started drinking is when I got full of myself, I thought I had all the answers and thought that happiness and success were all found at a beer party where I was the toast of that party. I was living the last 27 years still thinking I was king of that party, and I became negative about anything else other than partying. I was a standout in my high school days and got into a good college, and have had successes in life in spite of really just reliving my high school glory days over and over. Now without the booze the ambition to be more has come back into play. I now feel a renewed vigor that I haven't felt since I was 15 or 16. The goals are more about lifetime accomplishment, friendships, and happiness as opposed to just looking forward to the next drunkfest. I truly feel like I am getting back to the real me.
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Old 03-09-2011, 12:20 AM
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Thanks LaFemme! Definitely helpful, I think I'll look into that and see if there's anything like that local, providing they don't use whistles......and best of luck becoming a full time artist! I'm sure you'll get there!
Cheers Recycle, I'm doing pretty well...just little things that come up that I thought were well and truly in the past.
Supercrew - thanks alot, I hadn't really looked at it from that perspective, but I can really relate to your post......part of my story is very similar to yours.
Do you feel that the 'you' that you were when you were 15-16 is the real you? I'm somewhat confused as to who I am now that I'm c & s, and I'm not all that keen to go back to who I was at 17...some aspects of my character were good, others definitely not so.
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Old 03-09-2011, 06:15 AM
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I once posed a poll on whether people thought they became a new person in sobriety or went back to their authentic self. I think the poll leaned slightly towards a whole new person.

I'm like supercrew...I feel sobriety helps me tap into the authentication me that I knew when I was young but lost touch with over the years.
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Old 03-09-2011, 07:58 AM
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Hi Beardo,

Yes I feel that was the "real me". The alcohol helped give me confidence at the time where there shouldn't have been confidence. Confidence needed to be learned and worked for at that age, and instead I found it instantly in a 6 pack of beer. My body and my mind were my temple at that time, and I was pure yet curious and on top of my game with a very bright future. I traded that all to chase the drink from party to party and eventually learned to rely on alcohol to make me feel strong and confident and successful. It became the ultimate goal for me. It was really the only thing I looked forward to in life for 27 years.

By taking away the major obsession of my life it has opened up the doors to real goals and a life where I am always happy instead of just thinking I was happy when I was drinking.

I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone, but I never really felt content or enthusiastic in life for the last 27 years unless I was drinking. Now I feel content and enthusiastic all of the time. I thought alcohol was my fountain of youth, but come to find out alcohol was my kryptonite.
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