hi secheads!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Riding, VA
Posts: 51
hi secheads!!
just checking in to see the latest. i have been thinking about a drink lately and i have to get out of that mode.
One drunk will get me back to where my mind obsesses- my mind obsesses for my next drunk.
that is why i quit. I had it down to drinking only once a week. but it was the other six days where i obsessed for that next drunk. i drank every friday in the end. the other six days i would go through the day with that friday in my mind that i couldnt way to get to....
when friday came, there was no forgetting to stop at the store for beer. my mind was like a magnet that went straight to the beer store. it started to drive me crazy. so i quit
One drunk will get me back to where my mind obsesses- my mind obsesses for my next drunk.
that is why i quit. I had it down to drinking only once a week. but it was the other six days where i obsessed for that next drunk. i drank every friday in the end. the other six days i would go through the day with that friday in my mind that i couldnt way to get to....
when friday came, there was no forgetting to stop at the store for beer. my mind was like a magnet that went straight to the beer store. it started to drive me crazy. so i quit
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: West Avalonia
Posts: 85
I know when I've tried to white-knuckle my way through obsession, I *could* stop drinking for awhile, but it didn't solve the underlying issues, so I'd eventually trick myself into going back to it.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
One recovery tool that I have used with success is the: STOP Thought. I like to believe that I can exert some control over what my mind is up to. After all it is my mind and not some spooky 
mystery that defiles understanding. Like anything worth doing it takes practice, patience and persistence (the 3 P's). 
Just keep active in your own recovery and things will get better or at least that is my ES&H.
mystery that defiles understanding. Like anything worth doing it takes practice, patience and persistence (the 3 P's). Just keep active in your own recovery and things will get better or at least that is my ES&H.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by Zencat 
One recovery tool that I have used with success is the: STOP Thought. I like to believe that I can exert some control over what my mind is up to. After all it is my mind and not some spooky mystery that defiles understanding. Like anything worth doing it takes practice, patience and persistence (the 3 P's). Just keep active in your own recovery and things will get better or at least that is my ES&H.
mystery that defiles understanding. Like anything worth doing it takes practice, patience and persistence (the 3 P's). Just keep active in your own recovery and things will get better or at least that is my ES&H.Thanks for the post Zen,
Words describing my thoughts can be misleading sometimes. It sounds kinda simple (minded ) to say my actions reveal my true desires ; ....like I may say to myself, " I'm going to quit this F*#kin job" , but when I don't look for another , and continue to show up for work, ...I reason, .. that my actions are saying otherwise. I'm really not going to quit my job.
With drinking , or using, if something pops in my head, say ....visializing myself drinking , or planning to drink, ......but , use the tools I have in recovery not to,
....then I have to call it something other than "wanting " to drink. I figure (again , maybe simplisticly) that if I truly wanted to drink, my actions would prove it, I'd be drinking. When I don't drink (by my action ) , then I have to believe , that ultimately,, I really didn't want to drink .
What do I call it then , ?? I say to myself , " I imagined (visualized )myself drinking" . And not , "oh , I thought about , or wanted a drink today" I really think it's a small distinction , but for me , an important one . The semantic difference between "wanting " , "desiring " "obsessing about" a drink .......or just realizing I just imagined myself .
Gotta end this thought because I mistakedly posted, and there's a time limit to edit , YIKs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by topspin
Thanks for the post Zen,
Words describing my thoughts can be misleading sometimes. It sounds kinda simple (minded ) to say my actions reveal my true desires ; ....like I may say to myself, " I'm going to quit this F*#kin job" , but when I don't look for another , and continue to show up for work, ...I reason, .. that my actions are saying otherwise. I'm really not going to quit my job.
With drinking , or using, if something pops in my head, say ....visializing myself drinking , or planning to drink, ......but , use the tools I have in recovery not to,
....then I have to call it something other than "wanting " to drink. I figure (again , maybe simplisticly) that if I truly wanted to drink, my actions would prove it, I'd be drinking. When I don't drink (by my action ) , then I have to believe , that ultimately,, I really didn't want to drink .
I think I edited some of this:
What do I call it then , ?? I say to myself , " I imagined (visualized )myself drinking" . And not , "oh , I thought about , or wanted a drink today" I really think it's a small distinction , but for me , an important one .
The semantic difference between "wanted " , "desired " "obsessed about" a drink .......or just honestly accept I only imagined myself picking up a drink/ drug;.... which ultimately [proved by my action (or inaction)] was never a reality .
Sorry guys' I'm really having a tough time trying to explain the distinction,
Words describing my thoughts can be misleading sometimes. It sounds kinda simple (minded ) to say my actions reveal my true desires ; ....like I may say to myself, " I'm going to quit this F*#kin job" , but when I don't look for another , and continue to show up for work, ...I reason, .. that my actions are saying otherwise. I'm really not going to quit my job.
With drinking , or using, if something pops in my head, say ....visializing myself drinking , or planning to drink, ......but , use the tools I have in recovery not to,
....then I have to call it something other than "wanting " to drink. I figure (again , maybe simplisticly) that if I truly wanted to drink, my actions would prove it, I'd be drinking. When I don't drink (by my action ) , then I have to believe , that ultimately,, I really didn't want to drink .
I think I edited some of this:
What do I call it then , ?? I say to myself , " I imagined (visualized )myself drinking" . And not , "oh , I thought about , or wanted a drink today" I really think it's a small distinction , but for me , an important one .
The semantic difference between "wanted " , "desired " "obsessed about" a drink .......or just honestly accept I only imagined myself picking up a drink/ drug;.... which ultimately [proved by my action (or inaction)] was never a reality .
Sorry guys' I'm really having a tough time trying to explain the distinction,
HAHAHAHAheheha
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Originally Posted by topspin
What do I call it then , ?? I say to myself , " I imagined (visualized )myself drinking" . And not , "oh , I thought about , or wanted a drink today" I really think it's a small distinction , but for me , an important one .
The semantic difference between "wanted " , "desired " "obsessed about" a drink .......or just honestly accept I only imagined myself picking up a drink/ drug;.... which ultimately [proved by my action (or inaction)] was never a reality .
The semantic difference between "wanted " , "desired " "obsessed about" a drink .......or just honestly accept I only imagined myself picking up a drink/ drug;.... which ultimately [proved by my action (or inaction)] was never a reality .
However to ruminate over "a beer would be nice to have on this hot day" would be uncomfortable to me. I could see ruminating or obsessing about "having a beer" could not only be uncomfortable for me but stressful too. With the tools of addiction treatment I can diffuse that stress. I like to rid myself or any unnecessary stress if I can.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
That Stop thought is so brilliantly obvious! I'm saying that because I was expecting this great long list. Seriously. Isn't it funny how that is with us. The most obvious thing to do (that I guess others do pretty easily) just didn't come with the Alcoholics DNA package (or OCD's).
I constantly look for things like that when going through something. Okay, what's the "obvious" answer I just can't see!
Kinda like the 12-steps. Simple, really.
I constantly look for things like that when going through something. Okay, what's the "obvious" answer I just can't see!
Kinda like the 12-steps. Simple, really.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
One stop thought tool is meditation. With meditation, I practice quieting my mind and just have an experience. Now I can experience emotions without judging them. When I'm anxious...I'm anxious. No need to add a bunch of thoughts that make the situation worse. I can look deep as to see where my anxiousness is arising from. For me, insecurity and vulnerability seem to be at the root of much of my anxiety. Then I can do something to make me feel safe. Like reassuring myself that I am safe or do something soothing by being kind to myself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Lawrenceville, ga
Posts: 19
I'm so glad that this section is here. I was a little afraid that there would be little support for me as my beliefs don't really align with those of AA. Thank you SR for not leaving anyone out.
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Originally Posted by ryanmar
I'm so glad that this section is here. I was a little afraid that there would be little support for me as my beliefs don't really align with those of AA. Thank you SR for not leaving anyone out.
Welcome to SR/SC.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Welcome to the Secular Forum here at SR ryanmar.Having an addiction treatment plan that is true to my beliefs dose make recovering much easier for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Lawrenceville, ga
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by Dee74
Sorry Ryan
I wouldn't have namechecked AA in my other post in Newbies had I known.
There's a sticky post at the head of this forum with links to secular recovery groups
D
I wouldn't have namechecked AA in my other post in Newbies had I known.
There's a sticky post at the head of this forum with links to secular recovery groups
D
Yeah I say I was a little relieved because I'm finding it difficult to get too excited about anything right now. I really think that this area will help make things easier.
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