Originally Posted by topspin

Thanks for the post Zen,

Words describing my thoughts can be misleading sometimes. It sounds kinda simple (minded ) to say my actions reveal my true desires ; ....like I may say to myself, " I'm going to quit this F*#kin job" , but when I don't look for another , and continue to show up for work, ...I reason, .. that my actions are saying otherwise. I'm really not going to quit my job.

With drinking , or using, if something pops in my head, say ....visializing myself drinking , or planning to drink, ......but , use the tools I have in recovery not to,

....then I have to call it something other than "wanting " to drink. I figure (again , maybe simplisticly) that if I truly wanted to drink, my actions would prove it, I'd be drinking. When I don't drink (by my action ) , then I have to believe , that ultimately,, I really didn't want to drink .



I think I edited some of this:



What do I call it then , ?? I say to myself , " I imagined (visualized )myself drinking" . And not , "oh , I thought about , or wanted a drink today" I really think it's a small distinction , but for me , an important one .

The semantic difference between "wanted " , "desired " "obsessed about" a drink .......or just honestly accept I only imagined myself picking up a drink/ drug;.... which ultimately [proved by my action (or inaction)] was never a reality .

Sorry guys' I'm really having a tough time trying to explain the distinction,