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-   -   hi secheads!! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/202433-hi-secheads.html)

fenster67 06-05-2010 05:41 AM

hi secheads!!
 
just checking in to see the latest. i have been thinking about a drink lately and i have to get out of that mode.
One drunk will get me back to where my mind obsesses- my mind obsesses for my next drunk.
that is why i quit. I had it down to drinking only once a week. but it was the other six days where i obsessed for that next drunk. i drank every friday in the end. the other six days i would go through the day with that friday in my mind that i couldnt way to get to....
when friday came, there was no forgetting to stop at the store for beer. my mind was like a magnet that went straight to the beer store. it started to drive me crazy. so i quit

Ananda 06-05-2010 05:48 AM

thts the problem for me..quiting drinking wasn't stopping me from obsession....

I too had an obsession about alchohol a few days ago.

living in the obsession, sober or not...it sucks.

carlri 06-05-2010 08:16 AM

I know when I've tried to white-knuckle my way through obsession, I *could* stop drinking for awhile, but it didn't solve the underlying issues, so I'd eventually trick myself into going back to it.

Zencat 06-06-2010 10:29 AM

One recovery tool that I have used with success is the: STOP Thought. I like to believe that I can exert some control over what my mind is up to. After all it is my mind and not some spooky http://bestsmileys.com/paranoid/4.gif mystery that defiles understanding. Like anything worth doing it takes practice, patience and persistence (the 3 P's). :) Just keep active in your own recovery and things will get better or at least that is my ES&H.

topspin 06-06-2010 06:07 PM


Originally Posted by Zencat (Post 2617626)
One recovery tool that I have used with success is the: STOP Thought. I like to believe that I can exert some control over what my mind is up to. After all it is my mind and not some spooky http://bestsmileys.com/paranoid/4.gif mystery that defiles understanding. Like anything worth doing it takes practice, patience and persistence (the 3 P's). :) Just keep active in your own recovery and things will get better or at least that is my ES&H.


Thanks for the post Zen,

Words describing my thoughts can be misleading sometimes. It sounds kinda simple (minded ) to say my actions reveal my true desires ; ....like I may say to myself, " I'm going to quit this F*#kin job" , but when I don't look for another , and continue to show up for work, ...I reason, .. that my actions are saying otherwise. I'm really not going to quit my job.

With drinking , or using, if something pops in my head, say ....visializing myself drinking , or planning to drink, ......but , use the tools I have in recovery not to,

....then I have to call it something other than "wanting " to drink. I figure (again , maybe simplisticly) that if I truly wanted to drink, my actions would prove it, I'd be drinking. When I don't drink (by my action ) , then I have to believe , that ultimately,, I really didn't want to drink .

What do I call it then , ?? I say to myself , " I imagined (visualized )myself drinking" . And not , "oh , I thought about , or wanted a drink today" I really think it's a small distinction , but for me , an important one . The semantic difference between "wanting " , "desiring " "obsessing about" a drink .......or just realizing I just imagined myself .

Gotta end this thought because I mistakedly posted, and there's a time limit to edit , YIKs

topspin 06-06-2010 06:41 PM


Originally Posted by topspin (Post 2618037)
Thanks for the post Zen,

Words describing my thoughts can be misleading sometimes. It sounds kinda simple (minded ) to say my actions reveal my true desires ; ....like I may say to myself, " I'm going to quit this F*#kin job" , but when I don't look for another , and continue to show up for work, ...I reason, .. that my actions are saying otherwise. I'm really not going to quit my job.

With drinking , or using, if something pops in my head, say ....visializing myself drinking , or planning to drink, ......but , use the tools I have in recovery not to,

....then I have to call it something other than "wanting " to drink. I figure (again , maybe simplisticly) that if I truly wanted to drink, my actions would prove it, I'd be drinking. When I don't drink (by my action ) , then I have to believe , that ultimately,, I really didn't want to drink .



I think I edited some of this:



What do I call it then , ?? I say to myself , " I imagined (visualized )myself drinking" . And not , "oh , I thought about , or wanted a drink today" I really think it's a small distinction , but for me , an important one .

The semantic difference between "wanted " , "desired " "obsessed about" a drink .......or just honestly accept I only imagined myself picking up a drink/ drug;.... which ultimately [proved by my action (or inaction)] was never a reality .

Sorry guys' I'm really having a tough time trying to explain the distinction,




For the life of me, I don't know which button I hit that sends a post when I'm not close to finished. LOL That's what I get for not going to school !!


HAHAHAHAheheha

Zencat 06-08-2010 08:37 AM


Originally Posted by topspin
What do I call it then , ?? I say to myself , " I imagined (visualized )myself drinking" . And not , "oh , I thought about , or wanted a drink today" I really think it's a small distinction , but for me , an important one .

The semantic difference between "wanted " , "desired " "obsessed about" a drink .......or just honestly accept I only imagined myself picking up a drink/ drug;.... which ultimately [proved by my action (or inaction)] was never a reality .

I see that I may have a passing thought like; "a beer would be nice to have on this hot day", yet I don't act on that thought. I wouldn't think of that as an obsession. More like wishful thinking. It would good for me to examine that thought and challenge it. Like: sure a beer would be nice except when I start drinking I end up doing great harm to my overall well-being.

However to ruminate over "a beer would be nice to have on this hot day" would be uncomfortable to me. I could see ruminating or obsessing about "having a beer" could not only be uncomfortable for me but stressful too. With the tools of addiction treatment I can diffuse that stress. I like to rid myself or any unnecessary stress if I can.

Ceres 06-08-2010 07:14 PM

That Stop thought is so brilliantly obvious! I'm saying that because I was expecting this great long list. Seriously. Isn't it funny how that is with us. The most obvious thing to do (that I guess others do pretty easily) just didn't come with the Alcoholics DNA package (or OCD's).

I constantly look for things like that when going through something. Okay, what's the "obvious" answer I just can't see!

Kinda like the 12-steps. Simple, really.

Ceres 06-08-2010 07:32 PM

A %#$!!

I posted in the wrong effing forum again!! I hate it when I do that!!! Sorry about the steps reference I thought this was the step forum. :-)

windysan 06-09-2010 07:18 AM

I'm still here and still dumb as a fencepost.

kthx

Zencat 06-09-2010 09:06 AM

One stop thought tool is meditation. With meditation, I practice quieting my mind and just have an experience. Now I can experience emotions without judging them. When I'm anxious...I'm anxious. No need to add a bunch of thoughts that make the situation worse. I can look deep as to see where my anxiousness is arising from. For me, insecurity and vulnerability seem to be at the root of much of my anxiety. Then I can do something to make me feel safe. Like reassuring myself that I am safe or do something soothing by being kind to myself.

ryanmar 06-19-2010 09:16 PM

I'm so glad that this section is here. I was a little afraid that there would be little support for me as my beliefs don't really align with those of AA. Thank you SR for not leaving anyone out.

Dee74 06-19-2010 10:47 PM

Sorry Ryan
I wouldn't have namechecked AA in my other post in Newbies had I known.

There's a sticky post at the head of this forum with links to secular recovery groups :)

D

gneiss 06-19-2010 11:45 PM


Originally Posted by ryanmar (Post 2630323)
I'm so glad that this section is here. I was a little afraid that there would be little support for me as my beliefs don't really align with those of AA. Thank you SR for not leaving anyone out.

Kind of a relief, eh? I was thrilled when I found SR. :) Welcome to SR/SC.

Zencat 06-20-2010 10:35 AM

http://www.mazeguy.net/happy/wave.gif Welcome to the Secular Forum here at SR ryanmar.

Having an addiction treatment plan that is true to my beliefs dose make recovering much easier for me.

ryanmar 06-20-2010 03:38 PM


Originally Posted by Dee74 (Post 2630357)
Sorry Ryan
I wouldn't have namechecked AA in my other post in Newbies had I known.

There's a sticky post at the head of this forum with links to secular recovery groups :)

D

No worries. :)

Yeah I say I was a little relieved because I'm finding it difficult to get too excited about anything right now. I really think that this area will help make things easier.


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