c'est la vie

I'm not sure if I can leave my kids alone for 2+ hours while I go to a meeting. I just spoke to someone on the phone and coming here ranting has helped. This woman told me it's normal to feel so angry in the beginning. I'm not so happy to hear that since I thought I would be "joyous, happy and free"

jazpoppy

I'm happy to hear you're doing better Ig. I am so tired this morning so my disease is screaming at me now. Think I'll call my disease LOSER, because that's what it wants to turn me into! So I'm too late to tell your disease to shut the f*** up, but in case you need me too: A*hole, Shut the F*** up!!! And to my own: Loser, Shut the F*** up!!! Now I feel a bit better! I'm at work so that helps, no booze or drugs here! So it does help to get out and go to work in a sober environment, and after work I'm thinking of heading to the gym (another sober place) and then to a meeting (the ultimate sober place!). So you take care and hang in there! Glad to hear you're feeling much better!

Luv

Jaz

igfan

Hey Jaz, good to hear from you again. It sounds like you have a good plan for today, those all sound like good places to be. I hope you feel better, you'll have to PM and tell me more about this surgery you had.

Hang in there! and let me yell at your addiction: hey loser.......shut the f*** up!

wishful

Ig, you rock!
Glad to hear you won this round hands down, and mucho applause! LMAO at all of us talking to our addictions - it's fun, and really lets one vent instead of just feeling guilty. Instead of the group hug icon (though I really do love that one) we need to have a new icon for abuse of our evil twin! Any artists out there?

Here's a big group **** off to Loser, Bob, A**hole, and every other demon that ever pestered any of our SR family!

c'est la vie

Wonder who's gonna win the battle today????



ME!



And it also cracks me up thinking about all you other women talking to your evil voice! So glad I'm not alone in this.

Arura

Mornin All, today im gona win again.its a BIG day for me today,
the agencie that i usesd to help get me clean has asked me
to do there gardens.!!!!!! Today i go to my womans group n talk
to the management about when to start.....?
they kept telling me that they wanted me to do it but i didnt belive
them until the boss spoke to me and asked for a quote.......Arrrgggg
it feels strange..?

So those inner voices have to away today as ive got to go n pull
some weeds up....!

Mornin c'est hope your feeling well today..!

c'est la vie

Weed pulling, what great therapy. You can visualize each weed as a phrase your voice uses. You can rip it out and toss it. Now I want to go weed!

igfan

YOU GO GIRL!
Glad you made it through!

I had a good day yesterday UNTIL.......i don't know what's going on with me. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Campral, but it seems things are worse since going on it. Maybe it's all in my head, i'm not sure, but i totally flipped out on my husband last night cause he gave me crap for being on the computer (like he does everytime i head for it). I also feel like crap for telling my sponsor the truth about how i feel.......you know, that i don't feel like i can call her when i'm struggling because she NEVER answers the phone. She said "it's not about that, it's about you calling someone, getting your ass to a meeting when you feel that way" and i said "but shouldn't i feel like i can call my sponsor first, cause i don't" and she said....., and i said...... . Anyway, today is a new day. I want to try to stay focused today, i've been struggling with that. I hope yoo have a good day Ang, Arura, Wishful, Jaz, Vic and everyone else.

NOT TODAY A'HOLE, PHUCK OFF!

c'est la vie

I certainly didn't expect a constant onslaught of crap, but boy does my head know how to dish it out. I already had to fend off one bout of "Angie is so pathetic and can't even drink blah" I couldn't get anyone on the phone and I almost cried in the grocery. Wouldn't that have been interesting to see.

Ig, I remember a while back when I was trying to find a sponsor, you were also, and had lots of questions and concerns about what makes a good sponsor. I think that maybe you should consider stepping away from this person as your primary support. If she's good to work the steps with then do just that and have another person as your #1 call person. You're not getting what you need and that's really important. imo

wishful

Good morning, all! I'm late to work with a mess to clean up first (thank you, cats!) but couldn't get started right until I signed in to send love & strength to everyone on this thread. Hope everyone has a great day! I'm going to try some of that weed pulling therapy, too - sounds like a good outlet and the yard can certainly use it after the 7 1/2" rain we had last week!

Best wishes to all, and another day of doom and disappointment for the demons - haha!

BOB (my addict voice) >>> <<< Me!

igfan

i had a feeling that was you Ang, changed your screen name on me.....doesn't take much to confuse me.

I don't know why i struggle so much with my sponsor........i really believe it's just me.....i expect too much from her, she'll never live up to my expectations. I did what someone told me to do (i forget if it was Sharon or Laurie), but i picked up a pamphlet on Sponsorship and read through it. It seems for the most part my sponsor is doing what is expected of a sponsor, maybe she's not tough enough for me......i don't know. I'm sure if i was able to just tell her what it is i think i need she'd work with me. I don't know......she did ask me yesterday what we could do to make me feel better about calling her for help and i just said "I don't know".....that's my standard answer i guess.

c'est la vie

It sounds like she's trying to work with you to the best of her ability. If you need someone stronger, that's OK, but if this woman is welcoming your input then by all means give it.

Hey, Vic's on his bus wondering where all the action has gone. Maybe you could pop on and say hi. He could use a "lift me up" (as could we all).

igfan

yeah, she really is.....we've already had some communication this morning about what we can do, set up times to talk....things like that. I'm just a freakin mental patient lately, i feel like i'm on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute i'm happy, the next i'm crying...........GRRRRRRRRR

i tried to IM Vic this morning, but he must of been busy or didn't feel like chatting. I'll go hop on his bus and say "hi". Thanks Ang!

c'est la vie

.
me too, hon. That's why I'm spending a ton of time here. I'm off to a meeting now. hope it helps.

michski

((((igfan and c'est la vie)))))

c'est la vie

I'm so glad I went to the meeting. I feel so much better. I don't know if it's just being around humans or talking out loud or admitting to myself, God and the world (a very small corner of the world) that I'm an alcoholic (yuck, still don't like the sound of it).

I've been in touch with Drew61 who posted on the first page of this thread about RR. It sounds exactly like what we're all talking about. Facing the demon beast in our heads and kicking him out of the space he's been taking.

There ain't no squatters rights in my head and he's gotta go!!

c'est la vie

It just occured to me that the demons in all of our heads seem to be male.....hmmmmm

igfan

Good, i'm glad you feel better! I learned a little about Rational Recovery in my IOP, but i've already forgotten what i learned......oops

NYCGirl

hmmmmm