genesee

Well, I guess my pay back at work for spending so much time with SR has begun, it's just before 4:00am and I'm at work trying to catch up a bit. It will be nice to have aloong holiday weekend to sleep in.

Last night when I got home, I forgot that my wife and daughter were at swin lessons. It's better when they are there as the demands and distractions are higher. I did a few things and then went to garage frig to get a non-alcaholic beer. Well, there 4 beers in there (that I later found out were brought over by a neighbor who is moving). Now for me, and I'm sure for others, four beers can easilty turn into 100's. I tool the beers and put them down the drain. I was tempted, but it felt good when I was done.

When my family got home, I let my wife know that I poured out the beers and she remembered my committment to stop drinking. Which bring me to the main point, I will tell her about the drug and drinking problem (again) this weekend and not hide behind the excuse of just feeling / sleeping better. One of the most important virtues we try to instill in our daughter is honesty and it's a bit of a double standard If I dont live up to that same expectation!

Here's to a great weekend for everyone. Thank you all so very much for your time, thoughts, insight and all. It really has made a difference and last night proved that.

markofevil

I saw that you mentioned NA. You can also go to AA meetings as well. My guess is that a lot of AA meetings are a bit stronger than the NA meetings, but that's only a guess.

For me, the committment of going to meetings has been the key part of my recovery, probably even more important in the short term than working the steps. I average 7-9 meetings a week, which seems like a lot but is really less time than I spent drinking each week, far less.

genesee

Finally, a good nights sleep with out melotonin, tylenol pm, etc and I slept 8 hours. I got up and took my wifes car to the car wash at 6:00, rode my bike for 2 hours and and now about to embark on yardwork.

This morning, waking up fairly fresh with out a drugged sleep from pain pills, etc. was great. I tried to really focus on how good that really fellt. And how I wont be looking for the pills later in the day once the fatigue set's in. I tried to focus on th same thing when riding my bike. How nice it was to feel fresh, pop up those hills and want to do more. Not just come home, crash, wait until 2:00 to start the pain pills then the booze at 5:00.

Last nignt was harder than I thought it would be. I kept thinking, well, gee if I'm over the vicodin/percoset withdrawls and addiction, well maybe I can just go back to drinking my favored beer. I can keep that in check right? I'm sure I can, for about 2~3 weeks. I 'll drink on my designated Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Then a week later I'll dring on Thursday and on and on. Next thing I know, I'll be drinking each night and then I'm sure the pills will follow to add just that little kick and treat at a BBQ or...... I'm not over the addiction, maybe the withdrawls, BUT NOT THE ADDICTION.

I'm going to talk to my wife tonight about what has been going on for the last 30+ days. The fact that it's been almost a week should soften the blow.

Lastly, I saw a post about Tramadol / Ultram. I abused these as well. They give me a high like vicodin. I know they are not opiates, but I was addidcted to them as well. I don't think they are anything to play around with. Google Tramadol addiction and you will see some pretty bad press.

Thanks to all and hope to have an even better report tomorrow!