grasshopperpie

Thanks again to everyone who responded. I'm not quite sure what to say to your post, though, earlybird. If I didn't make myself clear, I quit on Wednesday, November 2nd. In a couple of hours, I will have finished 11 days of sobriety. Yeah, okay, that may not be all that long to you, I suppose, but it's a big number to me at this point. It's far longer than I've gone without booze in years. And each day without drinking gives me a bit more strength to face the next one.

As for doing this on a "dare" or as some sort of bizarre contest to "out-dry" my husband, or as some sort of holiday project, I am not certain how you made these leaps, but I can assure you that none are the case. I certainly do not want to cause conflict here, but I found your response a wee bit presumptuous, dismissive, condescending and insulting. I will assume that you didn't mean it that way, but I'm not even sure if you read my posts before replying. Is it okay to say that? It's what I'm feeling. I'm sorry.

Leroy L

the with draws are mainly from lack of sugar in our systems. i carryed a pcket of rootbeer barrels with me at all time and i ate em by the bag fulls to keep the with draws down some. face to face meetings helped me the most i needed to connect with others that had what i was wanting in life. They took me by the hand and guided me threw the steps. i wound up finding friends that trually care about wanting recovery in there life too. They go away if you can stay off it long enough. rember one day at a time god bless Leroy L

jbyerly

I with you grass hopper. We both quit the same time. Nov. 1 was my first full day of sobriety so I consider this 12 full days of sobriety. We will have two whole weeks shortley and thats a great gift from god. Don't you dare give up!!!!
John


I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

grasshopperpie

Thanks so much, jbyerly. It's great to have a buddy here who's pretty much at the same stage I am.

earlybird

Thats ok,...you're still in that "poor me" stage. I understand. I was there too. I NEVER said that you WERE doing this for those reasons. I was simply saying that IF you were, it wont work. Its not unheard of you know. I was HOPING you would "take" something from that rather than do the cliche', textbook, newly recovering thing and get defensive. I thought you had said you were only a few days sober. Also,..I never said 11 days was nothing. We all started at day one. 537 days ago,...I was at day 11. I also was very proud of that total. Im not taking anything away from you. Some people are doers and some people are BS'ers. You are doing. Thats good.

Just make sure that IF your husband goes back to drinking, you wont go WITH him

frosti

congrats on 12 days GP and the basman. No one ever died from a lack of sleep unless they were driving at the time. I'm only a few days up on you two. New to this site but one of many retreads. I know from ex' that if you keep doing what your doing it will work.
GOD BLESS
keep on keeping on

grasshopperpie

I'm sorry, but unless I have lost my mind and handed it over to you to read, I don't feel as though I am in anything close to a 'poor me' stage. I don't feel the least bit sorry for myself. I created the nasty problem all by myself. I take full responsibility for it. And I am doing my best to fix it.

Actually, I have had a look around at a lot of your posts (I've read just about everything on the first few pages of all sections--it really helps, for the most part), and I find your tone preachy, condescending, often discouraging, and sometimes downright hostile. No, not just toward me. But with many. That's just my opinion.

I'm sure you're trying your best to give advice and offer support, but your approach doesn't really work for me. I find it negative and off-putting. Not helpful. Sorry.

I realize I have nowhere near the time sober as most here, and I am certainly no expert on recovery. But if there is a perfect cookie cutter pattern where everyone falls into a self-pity stage on a certain day or week....well, that's news to me.

....and thank you, frosti.

CarolD

Clicking on a members name.. top left...you will see a drop down box.

On the last line it says...Add to your Buddy list.

Do that and you can put other members on your

Ignore List.

hopealwayz

Hi GP,
I wanted to stop in to congratulate you on day 12. That is a HUGE deal and definitely something to be proud of!! You have a lot of offer here and just by being here, you are helping others also. This is something that isn't easy but one day at a time, you are doing what needs to be done to stay sober. It only gets better from here so keep on moving forward in your life. I am here for you if you ever need to chat.

Hugs,
Cheryl

*smiles*

Grasshopperpie just wondering how you are doing? I hope all is well with you right now.

((((Hugs))))

2dayzmuse

Newly recovering act like newly recovering. Correct? Let's not expect them to act anything else. I don't think you have to be newly recovering to take things as defensive. We don't want to run our newcomers off do we?

(((Grasshopperpie)))

Good luck on your sober journey. Keep coming back and posting and reading. Sober life is a better life. I wish you the best...

grasshopperpie

Thanks very much for your nice messages. Yes, I am doing not too badly, thank you for asking. This weekend was a little easier than the last. I'm sorry to get my nose out of joint a bit there, but it just irked me that someone was leaping to a few conclusions about my situation, lecturing me about what I should and should not do, and dismissing my posts as 'defensive stage' or 'pity stage', without having actually read what I wrote. I'd seen this pattern on other theads, and--this is just my opinion--I didn't find it the best strategy for encouraging people who are struggling and new to all of this. But I don't want to get into any conflict with anyone--that's the last thing anyone here needs...lol. Thanks again for the advice and encouragement.

splendra

(((Grasshopperpie)))

Congrats on your clean time!! That is awesome that you got thru another weekend sober!!

Like at meetings when here take what you like and leave the rest. Try not to take offense cause someone could read it and get just what they need you just never know who might be helped by someones words here... God bless you and keep up the good work...

lulu70

((((((((((GP)))))))))))) I am jumping in here a little bit late, but I wanted to let you know how great I think you are doing. I think we met briefly at a meeting here a couple of weeks ago. Glad you are still doing well. For me, quitting drinking was the hardest thing I have had to do in my whole life, but it was also the most rewarding. Also, don't you belittle yourself for not having as much sober-time as other people here. All any of us have is today. ANY of us could easily be right back to square one in a heartbeat.

Keep hangin' in there, and please don't let some people's 'tough love' approach keep you from coming back!

Hugs to you--

grasshopperpie

Good advice, both of you. I will take to it to heart . Thank you.

frosti

GP- the only ones who know what stage of recovery your in is you and GOD. Trust in Him and you'll come through with flying colours.
Keep on keeping on.

earlybird

...

earlybird

Uh,...that wasnt an insult ya know. I assumed you knew about the "poor me" stage. We all go through it. Im sorry. I just dont believe in coddling. Thats why we seek help sooner most times. Because people treated us with kid gloves. Im sorry if I upset you. Ive been told that I have a good message to tell.

grasshopperpie

Thanks for your response, earlybird. I appreciate it. No, I wasn't aware of any 'poor me' stage. Since your post, I've looked honestly and thoroughly within myself, and can find no self pity about this problem. I had (and continue to have, amazingly enough--don't know how I didn't lose them) a great life, a wonderful husband, a terrific job, nice friends and the best family one could ask for. It was incredibly stupid of me to allow the drinking to go on, and not get help--I knew what I was doing. If I feel anything, it's anger with myself for letting it escalate, not dealing with it sooner, and for all the stupid things I did and said while drunk. I am not a member of AA yet, and so don't really know about all the stages and steps. But I didn't think that everyone had the exact same experience when quitting alcohol, with all the same stages of recovery. Perhaps I was wrong. When I hit the 'poor me' stage, I will let you know.

grasshopperpie

...and as others have already pointed out to me, I'm sure that you *do* have a great message to share, earlybird. I'm sorry that I made it seem otherwise. I should have been clearer--the tough 'pull up your bootstraps, you big baby' approach has never worked for me, *personally*. It frightens and discourages me, in fact. I'd never make it through Basic Training, that's for sure. But, I'm certain that approach does help a lot of others.