I'm Scared...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Recovering
Posts: 54
I'm Scared...
Hi, everyone...
Brand new, here.
I don't even know if I'm posting in the right place. If not, I am sorry. I had my last drink a few hours ago. My husband and I have both decided to try to quit. But I'm seriously frightened about what happens next, both physically and emotionally. I've been drinking pretty much every day for over a year, okay...let's be honest, probably two or three years now--about 26 oz of alcohol a day, most recently. It's all gone. Nothing left in the house, and I've promised myself I won't buy any more. But, how do you guys get through it? I know...one day at a time, and all that. But does that really work? Even if I go a day trying not to drink, my hands shake, I feel awful, I can't sleep. How do you do this for the rest of your life?
Thanks for any help or advice.
Brand new, here.
I don't even know if I'm posting in the right place. If not, I am sorry. I had my last drink a few hours ago. My husband and I have both decided to try to quit. But I'm seriously frightened about what happens next, both physically and emotionally. I've been drinking pretty much every day for over a year, okay...let's be honest, probably two or three years now--about 26 oz of alcohol a day, most recently. It's all gone. Nothing left in the house, and I've promised myself I won't buy any more. But, how do you guys get through it? I know...one day at a time, and all that. But does that really work? Even if I go a day trying not to drink, my hands shake, I feel awful, I can't sleep. How do you do this for the rest of your life?
Thanks for any help or advice.
Gobble, Gobble
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: california
Posts: 236
Originally Posted by grasshopperpie
How do you do this for the rest of your life?
Well, it isn't easy. It is not going to be easy for you to quit. Maybe someone else will have more info on withdrawls. My suggestion is go to the alcoholism message board and read all the informational 'sticky's'. There should be lots of information on withdrawls there.
After the withdrawls you work on the emotional withdrawl. It is sometimes harder to stay quit than to quit. I do do it day by day. I pray to my HP for strenght and desire to stay sober. I do more and keep myself busy with things around the house/community/ect. I come here a whole lot to get information, an 'ear', companionship from those going through similar things.
Anyway, Good luck to both of you!! My husband and I are doing quitting also.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: York, Nebraska
Posts: 18
Grasshopperpie
Welcome to the message board.
I am also fairly new around here, 17 days clean and sober and you were right, one day at a time. What is your feeling on the AA program? That is something that has helped me tremendously. It gives me something to do with that extra time that i spend not drinking and it helps to know that im not alone in this day by day struggle.
Welcome to the message board.
I am also fairly new around here, 17 days clean and sober and you were right, one day at a time. What is your feeling on the AA program? That is something that has helped me tremendously. It gives me something to do with that extra time that i spend not drinking and it helps to know that im not alone in this day by day struggle.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome and Hello! 
The info in Alcoholism is super! "Quitting what to expect" is my 1st recommedation.
And ask questions too if you like.
We are here for you and your husband.
I use AA as my recovery program.
Works great for me.
Hugs and Blessings....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Recovering
Posts: 54
Thanks so much for all of your responses, guys. I really appreciate them. I know this sounds silly, but even after one night of not drinking, I could barely sleep. I'm so used to having 'one last one' to knock me out. Tossed and turned for a few hours, and decided to give up and get out of bed. Husband also barely slept, and has to go into work early, too. But it really does help having him on board with me. It was so scary telling him that I thought we both had a problem, and needed to quit. To my great joy, he was not upset when I said this--but relieved! He'd been wanting to say the same things. I am very grateful for him. And to you guys, for helping a very new newbie along. I will try the AA meetings, I think. I've been meaning to go for ages. Kept phoning up, finding out where the nearest one was. When the time came to go, though, well...big surprise what state I was always in.
"The BAND" workshop ROCKS!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 1,502
Got a phone book? Go to AA, call the number find out where there's a meeting near you and go to it. They might ask if anyone is new. Just say your first name. You don't have to say you're an alcoholic or anything else. If discussion comes around to you, you can just say 'pass' or 'I'll just listen, thanks'. Thats it.
Then go to another meeting. THere is hope. Just do it.
The only requirement for membership is the DESIRE to stop drinking. Lots of people have shown up hung over. In fact, that might work best.
I remember being so ashamed that I just stared at the floor, I remember seeing lots of shoes that first week. Now I look the people in the eye- they are my best friends. I can't wait for my next meeting- it's at 7 am this morning.
It's a good day to be sober.
Then go to another meeting. THere is hope. Just do it.
The only requirement for membership is the DESIRE to stop drinking. Lots of people have shown up hung over. In fact, that might work best.
I remember being so ashamed that I just stared at the floor, I remember seeing lots of shoes that first week. Now I look the people in the eye- they are my best friends. I can't wait for my next meeting- it's at 7 am this morning.
It's a good day to be sober.
Getting Restored To Sanity
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 179
Hi Grasshopperpie. Welcome to SR! You will feel better and better each and every day you stay stopped. The shakes will go away and you will have a new zest for life, doing things your forgot you enjoyed many years ago. Stay close to the forum and keep typing, that will help you smooth out the shakes. Being scared is good, keep a healthy fear of what alcohol has done to you phsically, mentally, and emotionally. Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,467
Welcome and you've made a great decision.
I think that, for me, the best way to do this for the rest of my life, is to try to focus on the moment. Especially early on, I couldn't think about 'forever'. It overwhelmed me. In fact, I have found that remaining in the moment, though very hard to do, is a great way to live. That's what I try to achieve each day.
The sleep will come but it may take awhile for your body to sort itself out. Try to be patient and keep visiting SR.
I think that, for me, the best way to do this for the rest of my life, is to try to focus on the moment. Especially early on, I couldn't think about 'forever'. It overwhelmed me. In fact, I have found that remaining in the moment, though very hard to do, is a great way to live. That's what I try to achieve each day.
The sleep will come but it may take awhile for your body to sort itself out. Try to be patient and keep visiting SR.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Recovering
Posts: 54
Thank you, everyone, for your encouragement. So far, so good. I'm sitting here, drinking a diet soda, and actually getting some work done for a change. Mind you, I'm smoking more. But one thing at a time, I guess...lol. I work from home, and this is normally about the time of day I'd be mixing that first drink. Just a small one. Then a bigger one, etc..., etc...
I've found several, several AA meetings in my area that are going on today and tonight, but am not sure which kind to attend. There's 'od', 'os', 'cd', and so on. I think 'od' stands for 'open discussion', and 'cd' stands for 'closed discussion', but I'm not certain what that really means. Any advice for a first-timer?
I've found several, several AA meetings in my area that are going on today and tonight, but am not sure which kind to attend. There's 'od', 'os', 'cd', and so on. I think 'od' stands for 'open discussion', and 'cd' stands for 'closed discussion', but I'm not certain what that really means. Any advice for a first-timer?
Coming out of my shell
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: State of Denial
Posts: 100
Hi grasshopperpie
I was in your situation 3 weeks ago so I can relate. The first few days I came here to try to help with the obsession with alcohol. SR became my "fix". I also ordered a couple of books to read at night when I would usually be drinking. The best thing to do is find other things to do besides drinking, go for a walk, go to the mall, read, anything. It was SO hard emotionally. I was crying for a week, I missed my friend alcohol, and I was upset that I have to deal with the reasons why I drink. I couldn't sleep for a couple of weeks, and I was generally feeling just worn down. Now, I'm able to fall asleep FAST, I'm not so sad, and I have way more energy. I can "see" now because I'm not living in a fog. I just existed before, now I'm learning how to live. You can do this, and it's great that you have the support of your husband. It's going to be hard, but worth it. Good luck, we're here for you!
Turtle
I was in your situation 3 weeks ago so I can relate. The first few days I came here to try to help with the obsession with alcohol. SR became my "fix". I also ordered a couple of books to read at night when I would usually be drinking. The best thing to do is find other things to do besides drinking, go for a walk, go to the mall, read, anything. It was SO hard emotionally. I was crying for a week, I missed my friend alcohol, and I was upset that I have to deal with the reasons why I drink. I couldn't sleep for a couple of weeks, and I was generally feeling just worn down. Now, I'm able to fall asleep FAST, I'm not so sad, and I have way more energy. I can "see" now because I'm not living in a fog. I just existed before, now I'm learning how to live. You can do this, and it's great that you have the support of your husband. It's going to be hard, but worth it. Good luck, we're here for you!
Turtle
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi and welcome grasshopperpie!
First it's going to be some physical discomfort the first 4-5 days. Then it simply is one day at a time...seriously. Don't even think about "forever", it will get you in trouble. You have found the best place for support and don't ever question your decision. You will get to feeling pretty good and the day will come like a vengance "I'm cured", don't buy into it, stick with it. Finding a live means of support was key for me. I hope you'll look into all of your options and find something that works for you.
First it's going to be some physical discomfort the first 4-5 days. Then it simply is one day at a time...seriously. Don't even think about "forever", it will get you in trouble. You have found the best place for support and don't ever question your decision. You will get to feeling pretty good and the day will come like a vengance "I'm cured", don't buy into it, stick with it. Finding a live means of support was key for me. I hope you'll look into all of your options and find something that works for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi Grasshopperpie and welcome to SR! You and your husband will find great support here at SR! 
I really is " one day at a time", if you dont have the first drink TODAY, you cant get drunk.
The physical symptoms will lessen as the days go by, the insomnia lasted about 3 months for me, but I found I could rest , even if I did not sleep. Unfortunately , it is just something that has to be, but believe me, there is hope on the other side
I too, chose AA as my method of recovery , it is hard work, but it has worked for me . I drank for 37 years, and have been sober just over 2 years with the help of AA, it sure has worked for me !
Good Luck
HUGX
Lee
I really is " one day at a time", if you dont have the first drink TODAY, you cant get drunk.
The physical symptoms will lessen as the days go by, the insomnia lasted about 3 months for me, but I found I could rest , even if I did not sleep. Unfortunately , it is just something that has to be, but believe me, there is hope on the other side
I too, chose AA as my method of recovery , it is hard work, but it has worked for me . I drank for 37 years, and have been sober just over 2 years with the help of AA, it sure has worked for me !
Good Luck
HUGX
Lee
"The BAND" workshop ROCKS!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 1,502
open means anyone can attend (kids, spouse Dr's for educational purposes, clergy) closed means attendence is limited to people with a desire to stop drinking.
Just call the number and ask someone, or google AA and your city to get a online directory. Many newcomers like 'speaker' (s)meetings where you hear one persons story for most of the meeting time, that way you don't have to talk. But even at discussion meetings you can just pass. You don't have to identify yourself as alcoholic either, you can say, Hello my name is Mary and I have a desire to not drink. That is sufficient. The basket is usually passed for $1 or $2 donation, but is not mandatory that you contribute. Coffee is sometimes free, sometimes a can for donation.
Hope you enjoy your meeting. Please go with an open heart and mind.
Just call the number and ask someone, or google AA and your city to get a online directory. Many newcomers like 'speaker' (s)meetings where you hear one persons story for most of the meeting time, that way you don't have to talk. But even at discussion meetings you can just pass. You don't have to identify yourself as alcoholic either, you can say, Hello my name is Mary and I have a desire to not drink. That is sufficient. The basket is usually passed for $1 or $2 donation, but is not mandatory that you contribute. Coffee is sometimes free, sometimes a can for donation.
Hope you enjoy your meeting. Please go with an open heart and mind.
Red Hot Chili Pepper
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Jefferson --a State of Mind
Posts: 153
No sleeping is par for the course. Expect several days of it.
My first temp sponsor only had his 24 chip on him (even with like 30 years of sobriety) because he said it was the only one that mattered. Every 24 hour period IS the one that matters. And even if you have to take it five minutes at a time, that's five more minutes you're sober.
Kelly
My first temp sponsor only had his 24 chip on him (even with like 30 years of sobriety) because he said it was the only one that mattered. Every 24 hour period IS the one that matters. And even if you have to take it five minutes at a time, that's five more minutes you're sober.
Kelly
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Recovering
Posts: 54
Thanks again, everyone, for all your kind words, good advice, and encouragement.
I'm ashamed to say that I did not get up the nerve to attend a meeting tonight (it's supposed to start in five minutes). I did contact the local AA people, spoke to a very nice woman, and figured out some good meetings to start with. But I guess I chickened out.
On the plus side, five minutes from now will also mark 24 hours of being sober. I know it's not much, but it's longer than I've gone without a drink in a long, long while.
I will keep checking in here. It really is helping, just to read everyone else's stories, and to know my husband and I are not alone.
Thanks again so much.
I'm ashamed to say that I did not get up the nerve to attend a meeting tonight (it's supposed to start in five minutes). I did contact the local AA people, spoke to a very nice woman, and figured out some good meetings to start with. But I guess I chickened out.
On the plus side, five minutes from now will also mark 24 hours of being sober. I know it's not much, but it's longer than I've gone without a drink in a long, long while.
I will keep checking in here. It really is helping, just to read everyone else's stories, and to know my husband and I are not alone.
Thanks again so much.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Hi Grasshopperpie,
Congrats on 24 hours thats the way to do it!
The first days were hard for me this go round, real shaky and didnt feel safe leaving the house or driving untle after day 5 or so.
I was so glad to have found SR, just strapped myself to my chair and read the boards. This gave me so much comfort, just not to feel alone or the only one, kept me out of self pity at least, and gave me so much good information.
Very glad your here and hope to see you more, sorry you missed out on the meeting, but you will find another when your ready, maybe even tomorrow!
If nothing else, go to the meeting or to the AA office and get some books,
Take Care
Congrats on 24 hours thats the way to do it!
The first days were hard for me this go round, real shaky and didnt feel safe leaving the house or driving untle after day 5 or so.
I was so glad to have found SR, just strapped myself to my chair and read the boards. This gave me so much comfort, just not to feel alone or the only one, kept me out of self pity at least, and gave me so much good information.
Very glad your here and hope to see you more, sorry you missed out on the meeting, but you will find another when your ready, maybe even tomorrow!
If nothing else, go to the meeting or to the AA office and get some books,
Take Care
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
One minute, hour, then day at a time. AA can be a great help - but you need to walk through those doors! I drank everyday for the last 10 years (now almost 9 months sober), and if I can quit, you can too.
JMHS
JMHS
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
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