I need help but don't know what
Where can I get a cup of tea?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in space...
Posts: 55
I need help but don't know what
I guess I'm an alcoholic. I drink alone at home most nights, never in the day unless I'm off work. My tolerance has gone up over 15 years and I can finish some beers and a 70cl bottle of whiskey in one night. Not good.
If I leave off it for a day or two I feel fantastic, and am in good health, but I seem to feel guilty about feeling good, and get drunk again. Oh, and I convince myself it's 'fun'. Yeah, right.
I can work fine all day, but late afternood/evening I convince myself I deserve a treat. What the hell's wrong with me? I'm smart, decent looking, very caring and helpful, etc., but just can't seem to treat ME well.
Just registered here, and am off to read some other posts.
Any advice on how to get over that first few days, week, month..? I don't want to join a groups (other than this kind), and am single and live alone, so it's too damned easy to do whatever I want.
If I leave off it for a day or two I feel fantastic, and am in good health, but I seem to feel guilty about feeling good, and get drunk again. Oh, and I convince myself it's 'fun'. Yeah, right.
I can work fine all day, but late afternood/evening I convince myself I deserve a treat. What the hell's wrong with me? I'm smart, decent looking, very caring and helpful, etc., but just can't seem to treat ME well.
Just registered here, and am off to read some other posts.
Any advice on how to get over that first few days, week, month..? I don't want to join a groups (other than this kind), and am single and live alone, so it's too damned easy to do whatever I want.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Hey Arthur, welcome.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=47857
Great thread to read in the early days.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=47857
Great thread to read in the early days.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Hi Arthur,
Welcome! I didn't want to treat myself well, either and thought everyone else deserved to be treated well, but not me.
My advice, what I did, was to change routines and patterns. Force yourself to do something different at the time of the day when you usually drink. Walk the dog, listen to music, watch a movie, exercise, whatever it takes, but do something different. It helps you get past the mental and physical cravings.
Keep posting!
Anna
Welcome! I didn't want to treat myself well, either and thought everyone else deserved to be treated well, but not me.
My advice, what I did, was to change routines and patterns. Force yourself to do something different at the time of the day when you usually drink. Walk the dog, listen to music, watch a movie, exercise, whatever it takes, but do something different. It helps you get past the mental and physical cravings.
Keep posting!
Anna
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Boy Arthur pretty much my routine to that progressed over 20 years. Found my way here and haven't had a drink since. Stick around post where you like and ask lot's of questions. Pop over to the Alcoholism and AA forums.... for me I couldn't do it alone.
Where can I get a cup of tea?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in space...
Posts: 55
Many thanks to everyone. I've read some great stuff in the forums already, and intend to make a nightly visit here part of my letting go of booze plan.
Well actually, I should rephrase that: My living a better life plan.
This is Day 1.
Well actually, I should rephrase that: My living a better life plan.
This is Day 1.
Jack
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Pocono Mts. of PA
Posts: 115
Hi Arthur, from your description there's no "I guess I'man alcoholic". You are. You say if I leave off for a day or 2 I feel "fantastic"....and then you say you feel guilty about feeling good so you get drunk again. You're kidding yourself. That day or two just gives your body time to get rid of the toxins and then your mind and body crave alcohol so you get drunk. Anything else is a rationalization. You convince yourself it's "fun?"...yeah, right. Your words. You know it's not fun anymore. Towards the end for me I didn't want to drink but if I didn't I couldn't eat, my hands shook so bad I couldn't sign my name so I'd drink and think "I'll quit tomorrow, or, over the weekend, but I couldn't. I might quit for the wkend but come Monday I'd have to drink so I could settle my stomach and eat. I didn't want to join a group either. I didn't go to AA cuz things were OK and I just thought I'd see what they were about. I was BEAT into going to AA. Beat by booze and drugs, my lying, cheating etc. I found people just like me. I'd listen to people share and think "that person must know ME!"
That's exactly what I'm going through. AA is precisely for people who "don't want to join" like you said BUT you titled your post "I need help but I don't know what".
Alcoholics like you and me need help and AA is filled with people who need and needed help and got it from other drunks and junkies in AA. In early sobriety we have toxic brains and don't make very good decisions. An AA sponsor can help with that. The 1st line in AA's Big Book's chapter titled "How It Works" is "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path". It's so true. In AA people in early sobriety are told, "don't think, don't drink and go to a meeting". Go...if for no other reason that for an hour at least you'll get out of your own head and be thinking about something besides 'poor Arthur'. 1 hour. That's little enough to do considering what the rewards can be. Give an AA meeting an honest chance, you might be pleasantly surprised.
God bless.
That's exactly what I'm going through. AA is precisely for people who "don't want to join" like you said BUT you titled your post "I need help but I don't know what".
Alcoholics like you and me need help and AA is filled with people who need and needed help and got it from other drunks and junkies in AA. In early sobriety we have toxic brains and don't make very good decisions. An AA sponsor can help with that. The 1st line in AA's Big Book's chapter titled "How It Works" is "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path". It's so true. In AA people in early sobriety are told, "don't think, don't drink and go to a meeting". Go...if for no other reason that for an hour at least you'll get out of your own head and be thinking about something besides 'poor Arthur'. 1 hour. That's little enough to do considering what the rewards can be. Give an AA meeting an honest chance, you might be pleasantly surprised.
God bless.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome and Hello!
Arthur... 
Like you...
All my fun vottles were empty.
Keep seeking answers for your drinking.
AA is my recovery program...it is an awesome way of life.
Glad to se a new member!
Like you...All my fun vottles were empty.
Keep seeking answers for your drinking.
AA is my recovery program...it is an awesome way of life.
Glad to se a new member!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: England
Posts: 108
Hi Arthur,
Glad you made it here and hope that you are still on track. My most difficult day was day 3 because I felt better and all the cr*p that I felt during those hangover hours was gone, its so easy to forget how bad I felt. So I would drink again and that could last days weeks or even years.
This is a great place to visit for support and to give it. I have preferred to do this on my own but that is not right for all. I know that AA is there if I really need it, tho I am pretty rubbish at taking that genuinely offered hand . If stuff gets hard, try and go to an AA meeting and see how it goes, you have nothing to loose and it might click for you.
Hope Saturday goes ok for you, keep coming back.
Pete
Glad you made it here and hope that you are still on track. My most difficult day was day 3 because I felt better and all the cr*p that I felt during those hangover hours was gone, its so easy to forget how bad I felt. So I would drink again and that could last days weeks or even years.
This is a great place to visit for support and to give it. I have preferred to do this on my own but that is not right for all. I know that AA is there if I really need it, tho I am pretty rubbish at taking that genuinely offered hand . If stuff gets hard, try and go to an AA meeting and see how it goes, you have nothing to loose and it might click for you.
Hope Saturday goes ok for you, keep coming back.
Pete
Where can I get a cup of tea?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in space...
Posts: 55
Hi, and thanks for your helpful and even blunt messages - all are welcome.
I feel I can give it up without AA, and have set myself a kind of mental goal. Today I want to get to bed having lived a day which might seem over-long and even boring, but without having poisoned my body and mind with alcohol. Whatever my reasons for disliking my life enough to want to be 'out of it', I'm just going to get to tomorrow without the drink. Water is good, tea is nice, happiness and clarity are better.
My worst bit, as you guys/girls are saying, is after 2 or 3 days when I feel just great. Clear head, frisky and full of energy in the morning, no muscle aches, head aches, just feeling ok. I can work all day without feeling too tired, don't have the haze and negativity I feel after drinking, and life seems good!
But ... something about me isn't happy, and it convinces me that a few drinks are a great way to feel even better. Heck, a 'reward' even, for doing so well. Weeks later, empty bottles stacked up around my place, and like today, overdrawn on my overdraft, another big bank fee coming out of this month's wages, and no money for food for the next 2 weeks. Guess I'll have to go even more overdrawn and get another charge, or not eat. Nice thing to do to myself, eh? Well, I had to have the big flagons of cider that are sitting next to me, empty. And the beer bottles in the bin. And the big whiskey bottles in there with them...
Hence I'm here.
This is Plus Day 2 for me, 9.15am, England (where else for Arthur Dent?!) I'm going to keep calling them Plus Days, because each day I live and don't drink is a day I might have drunk but not remembered living.
You folks hang in there too. Cope with the boredom by changing the routine, live with the fact that you have a disease or just find it hard to love yourself, and keep telling me that you've had another Plus Day!
Many thanks. Tonight will have to be different for me, so tomorrow can be too.
I feel I can give it up without AA, and have set myself a kind of mental goal. Today I want to get to bed having lived a day which might seem over-long and even boring, but without having poisoned my body and mind with alcohol. Whatever my reasons for disliking my life enough to want to be 'out of it', I'm just going to get to tomorrow without the drink. Water is good, tea is nice, happiness and clarity are better.
My worst bit, as you guys/girls are saying, is after 2 or 3 days when I feel just great. Clear head, frisky and full of energy in the morning, no muscle aches, head aches, just feeling ok. I can work all day without feeling too tired, don't have the haze and negativity I feel after drinking, and life seems good!
But ... something about me isn't happy, and it convinces me that a few drinks are a great way to feel even better. Heck, a 'reward' even, for doing so well. Weeks later, empty bottles stacked up around my place, and like today, overdrawn on my overdraft, another big bank fee coming out of this month's wages, and no money for food for the next 2 weeks. Guess I'll have to go even more overdrawn and get another charge, or not eat. Nice thing to do to myself, eh? Well, I had to have the big flagons of cider that are sitting next to me, empty. And the beer bottles in the bin. And the big whiskey bottles in there with them...
Hence I'm here.
This is Plus Day 2 for me, 9.15am, England (where else for Arthur Dent?!) I'm going to keep calling them Plus Days, because each day I live and don't drink is a day I might have drunk but not remembered living.
You folks hang in there too. Cope with the boredom by changing the routine, live with the fact that you have a disease or just find it hard to love yourself, and keep telling me that you've had another Plus Day!
Many thanks. Tonight will have to be different for me, so tomorrow can be too.
Where can I get a cup of tea?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in space...
Posts: 55
Yeah, that was kind of inspired, eh? 
Made it my signature I like it so much.
The avatar is Arthur Dent, at the start of his journeys around the universe - when Mr. Prosser from the local Council arrives to tell Arthur to get out of the way of the bulldozer that's about to demolish his house. Unknown to Arthur, it doesn't really matter, as the Vogon Constructor Fleet is about to arrive to demolish the Earth.
Funny - boozing is just trying to deny the lousy past and avoid the inevitable future, isn't it..?
Made it my signature I like it so much.The avatar is Arthur Dent, at the start of his journeys around the universe - when Mr. Prosser from the local Council arrives to tell Arthur to get out of the way of the bulldozer that's about to demolish his house. Unknown to Arthur, it doesn't really matter, as the Vogon Constructor Fleet is about to arrive to demolish the Earth.
Funny - boozing is just trying to deny the lousy past and avoid the inevitable future, isn't it..?
Where can I get a cup of tea?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in space...
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by DangerousDan
How Zaphod of me to mistake Arthur for Eric Idle
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
'deserve a treat' and a 'reward', I can relate to those sentiments, it's almost like a holiday away from myself to get obliterated. Too be so smashed I was someone else. It sounds trite and cliched but I am trying to get through by not thinking I have given up forever I just decide each day I am not drinking TODAY. Keep strong and be kind to yourself mate
ps
big hitchikers fan myself-thought the new film was awful tho!
ps
big hitchikers fan myself-thought the new film was awful tho!
Where can I get a cup of tea?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in space...
Posts: 55
Stonerat, that's just how I feel. It gets me away from being me, from living in this world. If I'm honest, I don't like what's happened to me in life, and I don't like what people do to each other. I'm too damned sensitive to everything, and there's no support for sensitive males in general, just "Be a man", or "Get on with it".
I'm sitting here at 10.4am actually feeling a little scared of what I'm going to do today. I can think of lots of fun things I could do for myself, but want to avoid being genuinely happy somehow - how wierd is that?! All I know is I'm going to have to do something different tonight so I don't wake up feeling terrible again tomorrow. Plus Day 2, and I'd like to see Plus Day 3 in the morning.
I think I'm in the right place to begin recovering my life and sanity though, as I've backed myself into a corner now. Knowing I had to stop, I've blown all my cash this month on booze, have overdrawn past the limit, have no food, and finally made the effort to seek out folks like yourselves - folks like me. Today I've got to write a cheque for food for the next couple of weeks, knowing that there's going to be yet another bank charge for going further overdrawn. And you know what? My mind still wondered about adding some booze to the list!!
I feel as though I'm half sane and half crazy. I may be on here tonight posting drivel after I've been somewhere other than the shop to buy another booze fix. At least it's good to see that when anyone whines on here people say, "I'm there with you kiddo!"
I'm sitting here at 10.4am actually feeling a little scared of what I'm going to do today. I can think of lots of fun things I could do for myself, but want to avoid being genuinely happy somehow - how wierd is that?! All I know is I'm going to have to do something different tonight so I don't wake up feeling terrible again tomorrow. Plus Day 2, and I'd like to see Plus Day 3 in the morning.
I think I'm in the right place to begin recovering my life and sanity though, as I've backed myself into a corner now. Knowing I had to stop, I've blown all my cash this month on booze, have overdrawn past the limit, have no food, and finally made the effort to seek out folks like yourselves - folks like me. Today I've got to write a cheque for food for the next couple of weeks, knowing that there's going to be yet another bank charge for going further overdrawn. And you know what? My mind still wondered about adding some booze to the list!!
I feel as though I'm half sane and half crazy. I may be on here tonight posting drivel after I've been somewhere other than the shop to buy another booze fix. At least it's good to see that when anyone whines on here people say, "I'm there with you kiddo!"
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
I don't know what I am doing today I wish I could find a face to face support group that wasn't AA but so far the people like you on this forum are helping a lot. I too wondered if I really was an alkie, then I read the posts here and this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...18&postcount=1
and almost everything could be applied to me.
Nothing wrong with drivel btw
and almost everything could be applied to me.
Nothing wrong with drivel btw
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