hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 5
hi
I wanted to introduce myself and let you know why I am here. I have had issues with booze and have not been able to quit alltogether. My gf of 7 years and I have both been abusing. We broke up for a short time and I decided to quit.
I have no problem just stopping for months at a time, however we got back together and we decided not to drink, then she wanted to start up again at a local bar that we used to frequent.
To make a long story short, we are now finished and I decided I cannot take her back as much as it pains me, I had to let her go and find what it is that she wants.
First thing I did was hit the bottle to make the pain go away, this was a week ago. Now I have quit drinking again for MY benefit, not hers.
Yes I am sad and learning to feel the emptiness of the home we shared together for all those years, but NOT drinking has made me feel " clear" of what was needed to be done. Yes some regrets, but if you do not grow together it is time to let go.
Thank you for letting me vent and good luck and God bless everyone.
John
I have no problem just stopping for months at a time, however we got back together and we decided not to drink, then she wanted to start up again at a local bar that we used to frequent.
To make a long story short, we are now finished and I decided I cannot take her back as much as it pains me, I had to let her go and find what it is that she wants.
First thing I did was hit the bottle to make the pain go away, this was a week ago. Now I have quit drinking again for MY benefit, not hers.
Yes I am sad and learning to feel the emptiness of the home we shared together for all those years, but NOT drinking has made me feel " clear" of what was needed to be done. Yes some regrets, but if you do not grow together it is time to let go.
Thank you for letting me vent and good luck and God bless everyone.
John
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Welcome to SR, John. You'll find lots of good recovery and support here. And I agree that the commitment to stop drinking has to be for you, for no one and nothing else or it simply isn't sustainable, in my experience. Letting go of a relationship can be one of the hardest things to do, but it sounds like you are doing it for all of the right reasons. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing, ok?
--phinny
--phinny
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
John,
welcome to S/R.
For a person to get sober, you need support from your loved ones. If, being with your ex helps to take you down stay away from her.
My sobriety is the most important thing to me on earth. With out it, thy'll need to lock me up. I can no longer promise what's going to happen when, I start to drink again. I can't take the chance
For many of us on here it's life or death.
Go to the recovery stories on here and see if, they sound like you.
I'm suggesting you find an AA meeting to help keep you sober .
Keep coming back
Chris
welcome to S/R.
For a person to get sober, you need support from your loved ones. If, being with your ex helps to take you down stay away from her.
My sobriety is the most important thing to me on earth. With out it, thy'll need to lock me up. I can no longer promise what's going to happen when, I start to drink again. I can't take the chance
For many of us on here it's life or death.Go to the recovery stories on here and see if, they sound like you.
I'm suggesting you find an AA meeting to help keep you sober .
Keep coming back
Chris
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
Hey John....
Yes..
When one is constantly searching for their partner... emotionally, spiritually and physicly.. then there really is nothing left to grow on ....
And in the end... we all have to live our lives for ourselves..
On to a better place now....
Blessings on your efforts to get well and stay clean...
Yes some regrets, but if you do not grow together it is time to let go.
When one is constantly searching for their partner... emotionally, spiritually and physicly.. then there really is nothing left to grow on ....
And in the end... we all have to live our lives for ourselves..
On to a better place now....
Blessings on your efforts to get well and stay clean...
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and
Welcome John! 
I too left a lomg time lover for my sobriety.
Our goals were no lomger the same.
I started meeting new sober people to hhang out with in AA meetings.
Here is what I decided...and it has worked out great...
Whan I was a drunk so were my friends.
Now that I was sover so are my friends.
I too left a lomg time lover for my sobriety.
Our goals were no lomger the same.
I started meeting new sober people to hhang out with in AA meetings.
Here is what I decided...and it has worked out great...
Whan I was a drunk so were my friends.
Now that I was sover so are my friends.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 5
Thank you all for your welcome. I had a terrible day missing her but my family has come thru shiningly like they allways do by calling me and seeing how I was. I was real down, however the only thing I wanted was water and tea...I still need to start eating full meals again but I will be ok.
God bless
John
God bless
John
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
however the only thing I wanted was water and tea...I still need to start eating full meals again but I will be ok.
I call that the divorce diet...
been on it myself...
Not to worry though...
when your body is ready... it'll eat...
I hope you take the time to grieve well John....
Sometimes this will touch some other issues we have... that have been causeing us pain... and making us want to use to avoid looking at...
One could unload a whole pile of garbage all at once.. ;o)
Anyway.. that was the addictive war in me...
Feel the pain..
The only way out is through... ;o)
I'm glad your family is coming through for you..
just one more blessing..
Stay in touch eh...?
Don't want ya gettin lost.. ;o)
NA Rocks!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Location Location
Posts: 517
Hi John! Glad you found us. Sounds like you've really been through the wringer. I know you'll find lots of love and support here. Congratulations on the decision to quit drinking and for moving on from your relationship with your girlfriend. I really like what you said, "... but if you do not grow together it is time to let go." You have a great attitude! Have you thought of finding an AA meeting in your area?
You're starting an exciting new (clean) chapter in your life! How blessed you are! Looking forward to hearing more about you and your recovery.
~T4C~
P.S. How about munching on some trail mix until you get your appetite back??? Just a thought.
You're starting an exciting new (clean) chapter in your life! How blessed you are! Looking forward to hearing more about you and your recovery.
~T4C~
P.S. How about munching on some trail mix until you get your appetite back??? Just a thought.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Hi John,
Take care of yourself. Remember that we are here for you always.
Our hands are reached out for lots of support. Together we can do
what we cannot do alone. Sometimes we just realize what is not good
for us and we have to let go. Acceptance will come in time. Check back
in and let us know how you are doing.
Hugs,
Angel
Take care of yourself. Remember that we are here for you always.
Our hands are reached out for lots of support. Together we can do
what we cannot do alone. Sometimes we just realize what is not good
for us and we have to let go. Acceptance will come in time. Check back
in and let us know how you are doing.
Hugs,
Angel
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