View Poll Results: Any advice regarding staying away from my non drinking extended family?
What are the biggest challenges in the first few days?
3
50.00%
What is a good answer to what is a good answer to: would you care for a drink
3
50.00%
Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll
I have quit a thousand times.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2023
Location: Lompoc CA
Posts: 1
I have quit a thousand times.
I am here because I need to surround myself with others who are on my same journey. I had my last drink 2 days ago. Just finished reading Drinking, A love Story. Please encourage me to stay on the right path. Anita
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome. Sobriety is the best path. Your heart knows this. Your addiction will fight it.
I quit thousands of times. Usually after a blistering hangover. Only to drink that night. But when I truly vowed to never drink again, I only slipped once.
I will be thirteen years without a drink in three days!
You can do this. Stay close to Sober Recovery.
I quit thousands of times. Usually after a blistering hangover. Only to drink that night. But when I truly vowed to never drink again, I only slipped once.
I will be thirteen years without a drink in three days!
You can do this. Stay close to Sober Recovery.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,646
Hi and welcome Anita 
probably the biggest challenge for me was not to start drinking again.
my cycle went like this: I’d stop drinking, I’d feel awful, and I’d decide to start drinking again to stop feeling awful.
If you can get through the feeling awful part sober you’re well on your way to a different, positive outcome.
Let the community here help.
I think I did nothing but post and read here for a few days, but it really helped
As for what would be a good answer to do you care for a drink?
I avoided drinking situations for a while. I wasn’t a hermit but you know yourself what kinds of situations are likely to be drinking ones.
I needed that time away to accept I was a non drinker now, and to decide I preferred being that way.
nowadays, my answer to that question ‘would you care for a drink’ is ‘no thank you’, or ‘no, but I’d love a sparkling water, Coke,….’whatever.
You’ll find a lot of friends there and a lot of good advice Anita. I’m glad you found us!
D
probably the biggest challenge for me was not to start drinking again.
my cycle went like this: I’d stop drinking, I’d feel awful, and I’d decide to start drinking again to stop feeling awful.
If you can get through the feeling awful part sober you’re well on your way to a different, positive outcome.
Let the community here help.
I think I did nothing but post and read here for a few days, but it really helped
As for what would be a good answer to do you care for a drink?
I avoided drinking situations for a while. I wasn’t a hermit but you know yourself what kinds of situations are likely to be drinking ones.
I needed that time away to accept I was a non drinker now, and to decide I preferred being that way.
nowadays, my answer to that question ‘would you care for a drink’ is ‘no thank you’, or ‘no, but I’d love a sparkling water, Coke,….’whatever.
You’ll find a lot of friends there and a lot of good advice Anita. I’m glad you found us!
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,630
Anita, Welcome! "Drinking: A Love Story" had a huge impact on me. It was the first time that I thought I could really do this, I could get sober just like Caroline Knapp did. 2 days of sobriety is great and you will find lots of support here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,964
Welcome, Anita.
I woke up everyday for years and years, vowing to quit that very day. Each day, that vow turned to dust and by evening, I was drinking. I was discouraged, scared, demoralized - you name it. Finally, I had had enough. I am almost 12 years sober and loving it.
My go-to drink has been club soda. If someone asks if I want a drink, I say ‘no thanks - just water, or club soda if you have it’.
Glad you joined us.
I woke up everyday for years and years, vowing to quit that very day. Each day, that vow turned to dust and by evening, I was drinking. I was discouraged, scared, demoralized - you name it. Finally, I had had enough. I am almost 12 years sober and loving it.
My go-to drink has been club soda. If someone asks if I want a drink, I say ‘no thanks - just water, or club soda if you have it’.
Glad you joined us.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Near the mountains
Posts: 1,552
My biggest challenge in the first few days were the physical withdrawal symptoms and waking up to the fact that I had to actually quit drinking forever. Moderation is not possible for me so I have to die sober.
I made pretty much everyone I know aware of the fact that I quit. My answer to if I wanted a drink would just be that I don't drink. I try to always have a beverage in hand though so that I don't get asked many questions.
I made pretty much everyone I know aware of the fact that I quit. My answer to if I wanted a drink would just be that I don't drink. I try to always have a beverage in hand though so that I don't get asked many questions.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,670
Hi Anita - It's wonderful to have you with us.
When I first came here 16 yrs. ago I was very sick & shaky - couldn't imagine getting sober & staying that way. But it happened, and I credit the people here - the daily support, understanding, & encouragement. I knew if so many members could rise above their addiction & reclaim their lives, I could too.
I hope you'll continue to read & post - you are never alone, and we care about you. Congratulations on your 2 days, and for making the decision to get free.
When I first came here 16 yrs. ago I was very sick & shaky - couldn't imagine getting sober & staying that way. But it happened, and I credit the people here - the daily support, understanding, & encouragement. I knew if so many members could rise above their addiction & reclaim their lives, I could too.
I hope you'll continue to read & post - you are never alone, and we care about you. Congratulations on your 2 days, and for making the decision to get free.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 753
A lot of the trouble comes after those first few days. We alcoholics have an obsession to drink. Its kind of a temporary mental illness. The desire to consume a chemical that we know is going to harm us.
Many times over the course of just a couple of weeks the desire to stop drinking is slowly worn down by the obsession to drink. The alcoholic mind can play tricks on the alcoholic. Gradually rotating the bad memories of drinking to the back burner and sliding memories of the ease and comfort of those first few drinks up front. Time and again we do not react the same way physically to alcohol as we once did. Yet there can be this delusion that there will somehow be a benefit to taking a drink.
I think the best thing to keep the alcoholic sober is to be around other alcoholics who are now sober. I would suggest stopping by here everyday. Let us know how you are doing. There is plenty of room for more threads and traffic, especially for newcomers. We need each other.
You may want to try AA and work the 12 steps. In person and hands on with a sponsor.
Say whatever you have to say to turn down the drink. Its a bottom line don't take the drink thing. Many of us alcoholics tend to care entirely too much about what other people think. Screw em, just don't take the drink. My favorite is im allergic to alcohol, I break out in handcuffs. Another thing many of us do is prioritize alcohol. Normal people don't really care or pay as much attention to who drinks what as we do. Much of this dilemma only exists in the mind of the alcoholic. Its very possible that someday you will be at some gathering and you will realize the power of OMG, I really don't need to drink!
Many times over the course of just a couple of weeks the desire to stop drinking is slowly worn down by the obsession to drink. The alcoholic mind can play tricks on the alcoholic. Gradually rotating the bad memories of drinking to the back burner and sliding memories of the ease and comfort of those first few drinks up front. Time and again we do not react the same way physically to alcohol as we once did. Yet there can be this delusion that there will somehow be a benefit to taking a drink.
I think the best thing to keep the alcoholic sober is to be around other alcoholics who are now sober. I would suggest stopping by here everyday. Let us know how you are doing. There is plenty of room for more threads and traffic, especially for newcomers. We need each other.
You may want to try AA and work the 12 steps. In person and hands on with a sponsor.
Say whatever you have to say to turn down the drink. Its a bottom line don't take the drink thing. Many of us alcoholics tend to care entirely too much about what other people think. Screw em, just don't take the drink. My favorite is im allergic to alcohol, I break out in handcuffs. Another thing many of us do is prioritize alcohol. Normal people don't really care or pay as much attention to who drinks what as we do. Much of this dilemma only exists in the mind of the alcoholic. Its very possible that someday you will be at some gathering and you will realize the power of OMG, I really don't need to drink!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,192
Welcome Anita!
Great advice so far. All I can add is Don't Drink No Matter What.
The early days and even some not so early days can be rough and the AV will be there to convince you a drink will be OK.
Well for us a drink is Never ok.
So don't do it. No Matter What
Great advice so far. All I can add is Don't Drink No Matter What.
The early days and even some not so early days can be rough and the AV will be there to convince you a drink will be OK.
Well for us a drink is Never ok.
So don't do it. No Matter What
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 531
I could not stay clean and sober until I fully committed to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I have come to conclude that there is a type of alcoholic -- like me -- for whom AA is the only solution. Obviously, I have no idea whether you are an alcoholic at all, much less an alcoholic of the type I'm describing -- but I hope you'll keep an open mind about AA.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,998
I probably quit about 50 times but (to keep banging this drum) I never changed a single other thing. I’d sit there in front of the TV or computer missing my usual glass of alcohol. To paraphrase Einstein, don’t keep doing the same old stuff over and over. Once I got some confidence and self belief to get out there and do other things, I realised quitting was possible. OK, I still had the pesky withdrawals, but I now had other distractions to make the early weeks pass that little bit easier. Sitting there pining over the absent alcohol isn’t a robust way of quitting. The way I live now and the people I mix with don’t really go with alcohol. I wouldn’t change it for anything, but like most people I wish I’d quit a lot earlier.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 194
Originally Posted by Hodd 
I probably quit about 50 times but (to keep banging this drum) I never changed a single other thing. I’d sit there in front of the TV or computer missing my usual glass of alcohol. To paraphrase Einstein, don’t keep doing the same old stuff over and over. Once I got some confidence and self belief to get out there and do other things, I realised quitting was possible. OK, I still had the pesky withdrawals, but I now had other distractions to make the early weeks pass that little bit easier. Sitting there pining over the absent alcohol isn’t a robust way of quitting. The way I live now and the people I mix with don’t really go with alcohol. I wouldn’t change it for anything, but like most people I wish I’d quit a lot earlier.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,620
My alcoholic mind was the biggest challenge. I was not equipped with any effective mental defence against the fatal first drink and drank without thought. It was about at drink number three that I realised I had started again, then the craving would kick in.
I seemed to get some measure of a defence when I began exploring AA.
no one in their right mind would offer me a drink if they knew what I was like. But down the track “I’m on medication” worked quite well, or “ it doesn’t agree with me” or “I’ve become allergic to alcohol” were all good. Now I just say I no longer drink as a drank my entire life’s share by the age of 22.
I seemed to get some measure of a defence when I began exploring AA.
no one in their right mind would offer me a drink if they knew what I was like. But down the track “I’m on medication” worked quite well, or “ it doesn’t agree with me” or “I’ve become allergic to alcohol” were all good. Now I just say I no longer drink as a drank my entire life’s share by the age of 22.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 15,013
Welcome!
I read "Drinking: A Love Story" and many other related books from Amazon. They all were helpful. There were two things that were even more important back in the early days when I was trying to get sober. One was to log to on to this website every day and join the current monthly sobriety class, and the second was getting some face to face support from AA in the beginning.
That was over 13 years ago. Once I had a few years of sobriety under my belt, I donated my "alcohol recovery" books to others, and quit going to AA. If I can achieve long term sobriety, so can you.
I read "Drinking: A Love Story" and many other related books from Amazon. They all were helpful. There were two things that were even more important back in the early days when I was trying to get sober. One was to log to on to this website every day and join the current monthly sobriety class, and the second was getting some face to face support from AA in the beginning.
That was over 13 years ago. Once I had a few years of sobriety under my belt, I donated my "alcohol recovery" books to others, and quit going to AA. If I can achieve long term sobriety, so can you.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,145
Welcome to SR MyBoo
No thank you.
I don't drink.
No thanks, but I would like a Coke and a spritz of club soda with a twist of lime, please.
You do not have to explain your decisions to anyone ever. Unless you want to. If a person is persistently pushing a drink on you, just repeat NO a hundred times if you have to. They will get the message eventually.
Originally Posted by MyBoo
what is a good answer to: would you care for a drink
No thank you.
I don't drink.
No thanks, but I would like a Coke and a spritz of club soda with a twist of lime, please.
You do not have to explain your decisions to anyone ever. Unless you want to. If a person is persistently pushing a drink on you, just repeat NO a hundred times if you have to. They will get the message eventually.
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