DriGuy

Not at 11 days, I don't think. It was more like a couple of months when I began "the opposite," where thinking about drinking, not drinking, and alcohol in general was replaced by simply not thinking about it at all for long periods of time. But at 11 days, alcohol was on my mind most of the time.

Obviously, there is no physical escape plan that is usually recommended when you find yourself in a party situation you hadn't planned on. On the other hand, there are upsides to being alone with your daughter. 1)You won't be in a party situation, and 2)you have to be there with your daughter. You can't abandon your daughter physically or emotionally.

Right now your AV is going into overdrive having a field day with an unfamiliar situation. But in my mind this situation sounds like an ideal time to take advantage of the built in restraints, plus the joy of being with your daughter. Don't turn a wonderful opportunity into a big mess. And you will have an extra week tacked onto your 11 days or 15 or whatever it will be. A week early on is more important than 4 months later on. Take advantage of this. It's a good thing.

Zencat

It has helped me to practice challenging drinking thoughts when they pop up in my mind. It takes loads of practice to do but once you get the hang of it AV thoughts are stopped quickly.

"I CAN NOT DRINK!" That is my Big Plan too. Anything, be it thoughts, moods, or actions that would lead me to drink/use violates my Big Plan. I refuse to let drugs violate my life any longer. Alcohol victimizes me and, I hate that.

DriGuy

Lixie, I want to second this. Just don't drink for any reason ever. It's recovery reduced to it's simplest form. It's often hard for many of us to make it that simple. While it is simple and doable, no one will tell you the first part is easy.

I don't know what was hardest for me, being a drunk or knowing my life was being controlled by a chemical substance. Like Zen, I hated that control part as much or more than getting drunk.

Anna

Lixie, make the decision that drinking is no longer an option, ever. Then begin to come up with things to do during the week when you're tempted to drink. Text with your wife and get her support, listen to some favorite music, go for a long walk, do whatever will help you to stay sober for this week. You'll be so glad you did.

Bekindalways

Hey Lexie, I just read your thread and you seem to be fighting the good fight. Keep at it.

Lixie

Day four. I've started to recognize things that I wouldn't do whilst drinking. That's nice. I've started meditating and I am practising gratitude, and it seems to work. I am also getting in touch with my soul, exploring spirituality (thanks, FreeOwl) and I love it. I am learning so much, and it's only been a few days.

I'm happy.

Free2bme888

Hi Lixie, you CAN do this. Latch on to that proud feeling.

You GOT this

Lixie

I nearly gave in today. I was stressed, bored, worried and anxious, and I wanted to drink. Forced myself to sit on my hands until eight pm, when they stop selling alcohol here. So, going to bed sober.

Dee74

I'm glad you sat on your hands. Some day that's all that's needed.
Other days you might need less, or more, so I encourage you to find and use as many tools as possible, Lixie

D

Anna

Lixie, well done on getting through a tough day. Do whatever you need to do to get through each day and it will get easier for you.

dickensen

Lixie, Fighting the AV is a bunch of little battles that you can win. Over time the AV weakens. Also, over time you get the idea that sobriety is the best way and your self-respect increases.

Lixie

It's a gray and rainy day. The cafe was open today, and people have started to come back. I see so many small things that need to be improved, and I know in my heart that I am the one to fix them. I know now that I cannot rely on others to fix them. I am in charge, and I am ready to be that person. I have so many dreams, so many projects that I want to work on, and there is NO ROOM for alcohol. It is a thief, that steals valuable time from me, both when I am drinking and the day after. I am sick of this, and I am ready to be the person that I want and need to be. I choose to leave the poison behind, and I focus on me. I am creating the best version of me.

I am so happy to have you with me on this journey. Your input is so valuable to me, and I love you for being here for me. This is it. No more alcohol.

Hawkeye13

Yes! You can do this Lixie.

One day, one quit I was just done despite so many relapses and self-doubt.

I also knew that I was the one, the only one, who could fix my life and live my sober dream.

You are a beautiful work in progress.

You are the one and only soul who is Lixie, and we love ❤️ her!

Dee74

​​​​​​​D

Anna

Lixie, follow your dreams and plans!

dickensen

Alcohol is a poison that sickens and kills. I used to think of alcohol as a friend. That was a mistake. Now I think of sobriety as my friend as I recover my health and self-respect. .

Lixie

Here we go. Time to get serious. I haven't done things right lately, and that stops now. There are so many changes I want to make, and my perfect day looks something like this:

- I take my supplements in the morning, practise gratitude and mindfulness. No phone for the first hour
- I take a shower before I go downstairs to have breakfast
- I drink at least two litres of water during the day
- I eat two servings of fruit and three servings of vegetables
- I walk thirty minutes and do pilates afterwards
- I have routines for the kitchen, making sure that I start the day with clean countertops
- I write at least 500 words on my manuscript
- I spend at least one hour learning a new skill unless the cafe is open
- I spend the last hour before bed either reading or talking to my partner. No screen
- I plan the next day before I go to bed
- I write in my journal, tracking my glimmers and triggers, where I am completely honest with myself

As I said, this is my perfect day. I have to implement these new habits slowly. My main focus has to be filling my days with meaningful things to do, to make me think about other things than drinking.

One day at a time. Day 1.

RAL

HI Liz, that's a great list. I know in SMART they talk about vitally absorbing creating interests aka hobbies to take away the time we used the drink or just take our minds off drinking. Mine is jigsaws. I am utterly obsessed with them and get about 2 new ones each week. Probably seems silly but it works for me. Keep up with the great plan x

Lixie

How do you use SMART? It sounds very interesting and I'd love to hear more. Are there virtual meetings? I thing I need something like this.

RAL

yes there is an online website. It's international but I use the UK website. I go to the Friday 8am meeting. There are also meetings in the evenings.

https://smartrecovery.org.uk/online-meetings/

There is a also a workbook although all the material is online. It's very CBT based and doesn't label people. Great coping skills for all areas of life.