How’s your sober tools this weekend? Weekenders 10-13 March 2023
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by Klio 
Good timing for this topic. I'm really struggling. AV whispered yesterday and terrified me. At the AA meeting, someone suggested to make a list of things that I enjoy. My list only has 3 items, so sad! What are some things that bring you joy?
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,956
Running; Cool walk in the rain, Movies, Interesting YouTube videos such as travel, food, finance etc., lying down and listening to songs, writing down to do list, long shower, calling up friends, window shopping on Amazon, playing lego with my son, teaching my kids, going for a drive, taking a nap all these little things bring me joy
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I'm IN! Thanks, Mags and Dee.
My toolbox is in pretty good shape, I think. But there have been some unsettling moments and thoughts lately, so I've definitely had to use a couple of my trusty tools. It sometimes seems like the thoughts of drinking pop up from nowhere, but really, there's always some underlying reason. I have to stop and think "why now, why here?" I can usually figure out where the weak spot is, and take action accordingly. I think, for the most part, it's mental and physical exhaustion that sets me up to be most vulnerable. So, I've had to take action to make sure I'm eating well, resting a little more, getting a little more gentle exercise. Work has been such a pressure cooker, and my old go-to for that kind of stress always used to be booze and cigarettes. Over eight years sober, and my brain still sometimes wants to go there. I don't panic, though, I know and trust myself enough to know that I can get through it. Doesn't mean I'm not always on guard, but I'm not scared like I used to be. Not sure who said it earlier in the thread, but sobriety has given me resilience I didn't know I was capable of. In fact, resilience is my favorite trait in myself these days.
My toolbox is in pretty good shape, I think. But there have been some unsettling moments and thoughts lately, so I've definitely had to use a couple of my trusty tools. It sometimes seems like the thoughts of drinking pop up from nowhere, but really, there's always some underlying reason. I have to stop and think "why now, why here?" I can usually figure out where the weak spot is, and take action accordingly. I think, for the most part, it's mental and physical exhaustion that sets me up to be most vulnerable. So, I've had to take action to make sure I'm eating well, resting a little more, getting a little more gentle exercise. Work has been such a pressure cooker, and my old go-to for that kind of stress always used to be booze and cigarettes. Over eight years sober, and my brain still sometimes wants to go there. I don't panic, though, I know and trust myself enough to know that I can get through it. Doesn't mean I'm not always on guard, but I'm not scared like I used to be. Not sure who said it earlier in the thread, but sobriety has given me resilience I didn't know I was capable of. In fact, resilience is my favorite trait in myself these days.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,340
@Klio
i enjoy not waking up wondering how much I drank
i enjoy being clear headed to make decisions
i enjoy getting WAY more stuff done
after getting used to doing it, I like practicing self love, which drinking has NOTHING in common with me
remembering sex with my husband
remembering conversations from the night before
knowing I didn’t drunk text anything embarrassing
not wondering how much damage I’ve done to my liver
not being dehydrated
not being hungover and pretending to others I have a virus
exercising
reading
cleaning junk drawers
eating healthier
exercising
being present for my adult children
being able to respond to an emergency with full faculties at any moment (mostly after coffee though 🤪
the list goes on, and on, and on…………
…….
i enjoy not waking up wondering how much I drank
i enjoy being clear headed to make decisions
i enjoy getting WAY more stuff done
after getting used to doing it, I like practicing self love, which drinking has NOTHING in common with me
remembering sex with my husband
remembering conversations from the night before
knowing I didn’t drunk text anything embarrassing
not wondering how much damage I’ve done to my liver
not being dehydrated
not being hungover and pretending to others I have a virus
exercising
reading
cleaning junk drawers
eating healthier
exercising
being present for my adult children
being able to respond to an emergency with full faculties at any moment (mostly after coffee though 🤪
the list goes on, and on, and on…………
…….
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,688
Good Morning Weekenders
Klio, the av can be very unsettling. It can feel sometimes we needed it to survive. So it’s going to hang on to us as long as it can. Once we have the ‘formula’ to break free we can ignore it’s yappering any time it has a nag at us. As Marty says, ‘we gain a resilience against it’ .
When I was newly sober I had nothing I liked except for being sober. That’s not to say I was unhappy, I just hadn’t found my way yet. I couldn’t have answered three things I liked back then. Once our minds find the balance of living without the clutches of booze we can focus on us and what we will do with all the extra time we have now we’re not crashed out drunk anymore.
Wet and slushy weather here. It’s trying to snow but too wet.
Have a good sober day.
Love to all Weekenders xxxx
Klio, the av can be very unsettling. It can feel sometimes we needed it to survive. So it’s going to hang on to us as long as it can. Once we have the ‘formula’ to break free we can ignore it’s yappering any time it has a nag at us. As Marty says, ‘we gain a resilience against it’ .
When I was newly sober I had nothing I liked except for being sober. That’s not to say I was unhappy, I just hadn’t found my way yet. I couldn’t have answered three things I liked back then. Once our minds find the balance of living without the clutches of booze we can focus on us and what we will do with all the extra time we have now we’re not crashed out drunk anymore.
Wet and slushy weather here. It’s trying to snow but too wet.
Have a good sober day.
Love to all Weekenders xxxx
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,786
I've gone to bed three times so far and haven't fallen asleep yet. I get comfy and then Billie hears a noise outside and barks at it. Going to try again to see if she'll go to sleep this time.
I am a Child of God
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 54
What gives me joy is my partner, my friends , my cat Ninja and Music ( all sorts of much )
Today is Friday, I have my support today, it's been snowing around the UK
But there wasn't much here it is very cold So unsure what we are doing today
then going to come back home and get on with my studying.
Today is Friday, I have my support today, it's been snowing around the UK
But there wasn't much here it is very cold So unsure what we are doing today
then going to come back home and get on with my studying.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Hello fellow weekenders, needless to say I'm IN! Thank you Mags for the wise words.
I found myself with an evening alone on business in a city up North last week. With plenty of eating and drinking establishments to choose from, I felt a bit overwhelmed. Work would have paid for a jolly good meal and a few drinks at any of them. Feeling at risk, I dug out my sober tools and returned to my hotel room with a sandwich from the store. The hotel room was an upgrade and I spent the evening quietly relaxing and enjoying the complementary coffee machine in luxury. A stark contrast to what could have been in times of old!
Good to see you Vman, Bimini, MLD and others. Keep up the good work everyone... All the best. Forwards.
I found myself with an evening alone on business in a city up North last week. With plenty of eating and drinking establishments to choose from, I felt a bit overwhelmed. Work would have paid for a jolly good meal and a few drinks at any of them. Feeling at risk, I dug out my sober tools and returned to my hotel room with a sandwich from the store. The hotel room was an upgrade and I spent the evening quietly relaxing and enjoying the complementary coffee machine in luxury. A stark contrast to what could have been in times of old!
Good to see you Vman, Bimini, MLD and others. Keep up the good work everyone... All the best. Forwards.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,520
PJ, I hope you feel better soon 
I woke up in the middle of the night feeling unsettled and while I wasn't thinking about drinking as such, I had that uneasy feeling that I sometimes get just before the cravings start to kick in. Rather than lie in bed and dwell on things, I got up for a while, watched the snow falling down outside (there's been plenty of it overnight) and this relaxed me. I went back to bed and must have fallen straight back to sleep as the next thing I knew it was after 6am. I wonder what set off the uneasy feeling? I felt OK when I went to bed last night. Maybe i had an unsettling dream but I can't remember what, if anything, I was dreaming about. Hopefully this is just a passing thing. With almost 2 months sobriety under my belt I want to build on it and not have to contend with the start of cravings.
I woke up in the middle of the night feeling unsettled and while I wasn't thinking about drinking as such, I had that uneasy feeling that I sometimes get just before the cravings start to kick in. Rather than lie in bed and dwell on things, I got up for a while, watched the snow falling down outside (there's been plenty of it overnight) and this relaxed me. I went back to bed and must have fallen straight back to sleep as the next thing I knew it was after 6am. I wonder what set off the uneasy feeling? I felt OK when I went to bed last night. Maybe i had an unsettling dream but I can't remember what, if anything, I was dreaming about. Hopefully this is just a passing thing. With almost 2 months sobriety under my belt I want to build on it and not have to contend with the start of cravings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: New England
Posts: 1,478
Pledging for today. Day 159. Heading home to New England today. Adult son’s birthday tomorrow. Things are a little better between us which is good but they can improve if both of us bend a little.
Best to all wherever you are on your journey.
Best to all wherever you are on your journey.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,688
Congratulations Runner on 154 days 
Congratulations overforty on 54 days
ChopStickCheese congratulations on your upcoming 5 months.
Congratulations to all of us on another sober day!
Robbie, you did well to act before the cravings started.
Congratulations overforty on 54 days
ChopStickCheese congratulations on your upcoming 5 months.
Congratulations to all of us on another sober day!
Robbie, you did well to act before the cravings started.
. Going back to bed shortly to try again.
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