Splash29

I’m not a new comer, in and out of rooms for ten years. But it’s never been this bad. Drinking at noon, passing out, then drinking again in middle of the night. My husband put up with it bc he had health issues and blamed himself - which makes me feel terrible. But now he’s healthy and I’m still drinking. I was laid off a month ago. I m trying. Waiting till 5 to drink, but I’m staring at my watch. My friend sent me a link to virtual women meetings which is helping, but I’m so ashamed of how I’ve been a terrible wife. I hate the shame. It feels terrible.

dustyfox

Wow, I know that feeling! You can quit, it is possible. You already know that it will make you feel better about yourself, almost straight away. Get rid of that awful feeling of shame, it is like a dead weight weighing you down and you can just drop it.

Can today be the day? Day one. Post here, the support will really help you on this journey.

Dee74

welcome back Splash

The more time you put between yourself and your last drink, the less you will have something to be ashamed about.
This early part is not easy but it leads to good things

D

kes

Hi Splash,

Have you thought about inpatient detox? I was really bad, 50 units per day, starting at 8am or as soon as I oprnrd my eyes and would continue until I passed out. The dt's were horrendous.

Detox worked for me, so far. I'm on day 138 as of today and there's no way hosay I could have kicked withiut going in.The medication they gave me stopped all the nasty withdrawal symptoms and I withdrew without any shakes, terrors or hallucinations. The doc warned me of the risk of quitting on my own as it could have proved fatal. If I can stop anyone can, believe me!

Certainly worth speaking to your doc.

Hope this helps

Hevyn

Hi Splash. I'm glad you came back to talk things over with us.

I was in the same state when I finally quit for good - nearly 15 yrs ago. It took me getting disgusted with myself & exhausted from trying to maintain the drinking life. I was drinking 'round the clock - had one on my bedside table for when I'd wake up shaking. Classy! I even took it with me when I went to work - or went shopping - or anywhere. I couldn't be without it in the end. My behavior was reckless, & I was putting myself and others in danger. It had to end, or I would die.
That's when I came here. After a few false starts, I never picked up again.
So - I know you can do this, Splash.

VikingGF

Hi, Splash. You can get off the roller coaster for good. I felt so lost and out of control, drinking every day, waking up swearing I would quit, only to be back at it again that very day. After so many stops and starts that I lost count, I gave it up for good and did not look back- it was hard but living the way I was was harder and scarier than stopping. It didn't take long to feel better and more worthy of a good life and good things- you can do it, too. One day, one hour, one minute at a time, whatever it takes. Come here every day for as long as you need- this place kept me honest and sane for sure.

Good luck, and welcome back.

SIB

Covid was bad for a lot of people, me included, I had been sober for over a year but being layed off, my moms passing and then being all of sudden stuck in isolation and bored out of my mind I broke my sobriety. I was just like you, and even worse over the summer, drink, pass out, drink, pass out. Its no way to live! I am on day 7 and back on the wagon. Next stop 30 days.

Kaptn

I'm happy you are here, Splash.

MrPL

It’s a vicious cycle Splash.

To break it you need to do something different than before, something that will change your mindset. Maybe the meeting could be it, but if not there is a solution for you out there.

You can do this!

Zencat

Greetings Splash
Splash, you can use the ugly results of your drinking and turn them into motivation to stay sober. When the urge hits recall all the self-loathing and out-of-control embarrassing behavior alcohol causes before you pick up that first drink. The whole recovery process starts with not taking that one single drink.
Post, participate, and support others here on SR to restart your addiction plan of action.

We do recover! And so will you!

Anna

Welcome back, Splash! I can so relate to the feelings of shame and guilt. I spent a lot of time with those feelings and it took a leap of faith to step out of the vicious cycle. You can do it and you will begin to feel better about yourself each day. Believe that you are worth the effort.

kes

An old member at AA told me, "There's no point in wishing for a better yesterday, but think about a better tomorrow."

Think that says it all, splash - I sincerely hope you make it, good luck and stick around.

Zebra1275

Welcome back!

Have you considered in-patient rehab?

Splash29

I don’t do well not at home. I don’t even like to travel. I have anxiety.

KTB5000

Thank you for posting Splash, you are here and aware you're drinking needs to stop.

You can break the cycle of drinking and once you're out of that loop, you'll naturally begin to feel so much better. Alcohol is poison to our bodies. Listen to the advice here and lean on SR as much as you need to and get through those withdrawals. After a week or so, you will start to feel better.

I was a passout, blackout drunk, I was on the verge of losing my mind, so yea, if I can do it, you can do it too.
I did shameful things as a result of my drinking, after awhile sober, I think about those shameful moments a whole lot less. I do esteemable things now and going to bed sober each day is one of the most esteemable things I can do.

Splash29

Thank you all. I was sent zoom info on a women’s 24/7 group and I listened to about 5 meetings just today. Praying this is it. I have 3 bottles left in my house which will last a day and a half.

fishkiller

What do you plan to do when the cravings come? I'm sure they are always there.
How are you going to manage them without drinking?
Some folks ride them out, some occupy themselves with something else, some find a meeting, etc.

Just giving you something to think about. If you can get through the cravings you can do this

Purplrks3647

Welcome back Splash!

Splash29

I guess posting here, aa virtual and in person mettings. Calling my friend in aa. Watching Gilmore girls or other mindless tv. Idk but I’ve fought it before.

Splash29

I do hate the sweating maybe more than the cravings.