I'm starting to fully accept that the choice is actually life or drink
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I'm in your corner, Tetrax. Getting to that point of surrender is the beginning of a new life. I'll never forget the actual second that I surrendered. I felt almost happy in that moment, even though I was sitting in a police station being booked for a DUI. I definitely felt a huge sense of relief. It was like the universe whispered to me "you can stop. Just do it. You never have to drink again and go through this humiliation." I never took another drink after that night. It just clicked. Was it easy to admit my problem and start to clean up the mess I had made? Nope. Hard work. But it was SIMPLE. Just don't drink for today. Then rinse and repeat. Things really began to fall into place pretty quickly. I still had to face the legal consequences and all that, but I let things work out the way they were supposed to, and just rolled with it. Serenity really began to set in after a few months.
You can have that serenity, too. You do have to surrender and admit you can't control alcohol. And you have to REALLY believe that. But once you do that, you can step away from booze much more easily.
You can have that serenity, too. You do have to surrender and admit you can't control alcohol. And you have to REALLY believe that. But once you do that, you can step away from booze much more easily.
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
I was at that crossroad 10 years ago. I was happy to be there because without the realization that I didn’t have long to live if I kept drinking, I would have chosen to keep drinking.
Yield beautiful changes
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,698
You can do this, Tetrax!!!
When I found sobriety it was because I could see two paths forward:
1.) Restoration of health, family, spirit, self-esteem (as messy and imperfect and complicated as all of those things can be!)
2.) Pain, illness (mental and physical), isolation, and death
It was stark. It was clear. Why was it still so hard to choose #1?!?!?
I think it was because recovery made me vulnerable in a way that drinking did not. It made me stand naked (metaphorically
) with all of my flaws exposed to myself and the world. Vulnerability is TERRIFYING, but it is the only way to start journeying down Path 1.
If you want to live your most courageous, exciting, rolling-around-in-the-dirt-doing-battle, taking chances, SUCCEEDING/FAILING kind of life, you have to start stripping down and bearing up.
It makes me so happy to hear that you're ready to make those choices. It is worth it!
Much love,
TC
When I found sobriety it was because I could see two paths forward:
1.) Restoration of health, family, spirit, self-esteem (as messy and imperfect and complicated as all of those things can be!)
2.) Pain, illness (mental and physical), isolation, and death
It was stark. It was clear. Why was it still so hard to choose #1?!?!?
I think it was because recovery made me vulnerable in a way that drinking did not. It made me stand naked (metaphorically
) with all of my flaws exposed to myself and the world. Vulnerability is TERRIFYING, but it is the only way to start journeying down Path 1. If you want to live your most courageous, exciting, rolling-around-in-the-dirt-doing-battle, taking chances, SUCCEEDING/FAILING kind of life, you have to start stripping down and bearing up.
It makes me so happy to hear that you're ready to make those choices. It is worth it!
Much love,
TC
Member
Join Date: Jun 2022
Posts: 19
I needed this thread. Thank you, Tetrax. And thank you to all who have posted. I think one of my greatest and most dangerous obstacles to sustained sobriety has been a deep-seated denial, an obstinacy to hold on to the idea that I can drink and keep alcohol in my life and have a life. And yet over and over it has shown itself for what it is: a wrecking ball. It takes down everything. So many good insights here.
5 days off the poison is great.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
