Starting over again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 34
Sorry I’m not quite sure how this site works yet. Or how to reply to each person. I’ll get it all figured out.
I don’t know what I’m going to do. A friend wants me to go to a psychotherapist she knows. Not sure if I will or not.
I don’t know what I’m going to do. A friend wants me to go to a psychotherapist she knows. Not sure if I will or not.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,687
Hi Em welcome to SR 
I couldn’t quit on my own I realised. I needed the ‘formula’ to staying sober. With this site I found the formula and how to live a happy life sober, someyjing I didn’t think possible.
Stick with it Em.
I couldn’t quit on my own I realised. I needed the ‘formula’ to staying sober. With this site I found the formula and how to live a happy life sober, someyjing I didn’t think possible.
Stick with it Em.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,945
Hi Em, the very first time I tried quitting (I’m now 3.5 years sober), I really thought I was ill. The body’s been used to having alcohol every evening for years, and when that alcohol’s not there, the body sure complains. It’s not the most helpful comment, but this shows us how dependent on alcohol we’ve become and that quitting is even more important. On a more positive note, you’ll start to feel better after a week or two, but you’ll have to steer clear of any alcohol as drinking will reset everything to that awful day one.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,869
Hi Em92 and welcome on SR
First thing first : don't drink
You feel anxious? Don't drink
You are desperate for a drink? Don't drink
You can't sleep? Don't drink
(You get the picture)
Within 10 days, I promise you will see great changes happening.
Come back and tell us about your journey, we're in this with you
First thing first : don't drink
You feel anxious? Don't drink
You are desperate for a drink? Don't drink
You can't sleep? Don't drink
(You get the picture)
Within 10 days, I promise you will see great changes happening.
Come back and tell us about your journey, we're in this with you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Welcome, Em, SR is a great place full of support. Read around the boards and post when you need help, there is always someone willing to reach out and we all understand the struggle. Like it has been said already, things get better the longer you go without drinking. You can di it, never give up. Glad to have you here with us. Congrats on day 2!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 278
Congratulations on Day 2!
What kept me from reaching Day 2 for years was that Day 1 was so hard, so you've already made a great accomplishment that you can be proud of.
There's a lot of great resources on this site, and lots of wisdom from the contributors.
Here's my Day 2 advice for you: cravings won't kill you, and cravings won't ruin your life, and cravings won't make you feel ashamed or disappointed in yourself. Alcohol will do all of that, so the simpler thing to do -- the thing that will make you happier -- is to just sit with the cravings, as unpleasant as they may be, and don't drink. Then go to bed knowing you at least made one very good choice today.
Also, for most people (me included), cravings don't last very long. When you feel the crave, you think it's endless torment and misery, but if you can ride it out for just 5 or 10 minutes, then you're on to the next thing. Your body screams at you: "This craving will last FOREVER, and the only way to make it stop is to DRINK." That's not true; cravings don't last very long, and you can make them stop by distracting yourself. There are long lists of healthy distractions on this site, but it can be as simple as folding the laundry, making a cup of tea, taking a shower, or calling a friend. Instead of that false statement above, the true statement is "This craving will last only a SHORT WHILE, and there are MANY ways to make it stop."
Stay strong. You can do this.
What kept me from reaching Day 2 for years was that Day 1 was so hard, so you've already made a great accomplishment that you can be proud of.
There's a lot of great resources on this site, and lots of wisdom from the contributors.
Here's my Day 2 advice for you: cravings won't kill you, and cravings won't ruin your life, and cravings won't make you feel ashamed or disappointed in yourself. Alcohol will do all of that, so the simpler thing to do -- the thing that will make you happier -- is to just sit with the cravings, as unpleasant as they may be, and don't drink. Then go to bed knowing you at least made one very good choice today.
Also, for most people (me included), cravings don't last very long. When you feel the crave, you think it's endless torment and misery, but if you can ride it out for just 5 or 10 minutes, then you're on to the next thing. Your body screams at you: "This craving will last FOREVER, and the only way to make it stop is to DRINK." That's not true; cravings don't last very long, and you can make them stop by distracting yourself. There are long lists of healthy distractions on this site, but it can be as simple as folding the laundry, making a cup of tea, taking a shower, or calling a friend. Instead of that false statement above, the true statement is "This craving will last only a SHORT WHILE, and there are MANY ways to make it stop."
Stay strong. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Welcome to SR!
I want you to get sober. But before spending a ton of money on a psychotherapist why don't you try AA and also get very active on this website? With the money you save you can buy a lot of alcohol recovery books on Amazon. These are the key things I did to get sober over 12 years ago.
I want you to get sober. But before spending a ton of money on a psychotherapist why don't you try AA and also get very active on this website? With the money you save you can buy a lot of alcohol recovery books on Amazon. These are the key things I did to get sober over 12 years ago.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Welcome, Em. You can do it.
I had a lot of past trauma to work through and the only way to sort it all out was to stay sober.
I couldn't have done psychotherapy in early sobriety, there is no way I could have discussed my past with anyone - it was too painfully raw in early sobriety. That rawness does get better, but it takes a while. Months for me. I kept saying I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.
What I did was go to a few women-only AA meetings, Speaker AA meetings, regular daily AA meetings, post on this site, do research on Spirituality and coping, and I am happy to be over eight years sober now. Keep reading and keep posting. We do care and we understand.
Then, healthy food and a little exercise every day. No news. No negative people. Happy movies. Chores. Daily commitment to getting well.
If you put your head on the pillow sober you're on the right path.
I had a lot of past trauma to work through and the only way to sort it all out was to stay sober.
I couldn't have done psychotherapy in early sobriety, there is no way I could have discussed my past with anyone - it was too painfully raw in early sobriety. That rawness does get better, but it takes a while. Months for me. I kept saying I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.
What I did was go to a few women-only AA meetings, Speaker AA meetings, regular daily AA meetings, post on this site, do research on Spirituality and coping, and I am happy to be over eight years sober now. Keep reading and keep posting. We do care and we understand.
Then, healthy food and a little exercise every day. No news. No negative people. Happy movies. Chores. Daily commitment to getting well.
If you put your head on the pillow sober you're on the right path.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi Em. I'm so glad you joined us. Finding SR helped me finally quit a 30 yr. habit. I never felt alone once I came here. Other people in my life just didn't understand what I was going through. The first days are rough, but it all gets so much easier & the anxiety will begin to fade.
Congrats on your sober time so far - probably Day 3.
Congrats on your sober time so far - probably Day 3.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 34
Wow. Thank you all. I have been asleep most of the day today. I have been wondering about withdrawal. I was drinking everyday for months and months but the last couple of months have been more sporadic. Some weeks I drink everyday but some only a day or two. And rarely none. I feel absolutely horrible today. I haven’t had anything since Friday and before that I drank Monday and Tuesday. I did drink a lot each time but not a massive amount. The week before I only drank one day. I kind of thought since it hasn’t been everyday for a few weeks maybe I would not have as much withdrawal. But I have a headache and am nauseous and shaky today. It seems like sometimes I can go a few days and feel ok and sometimes I feel horrible.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome, Em. Yeah, it's likely that the headache, shakiness and nausea are due to withdrawals. The good news is that you should start feeling better soon. Do you have a plan in mind for how you will stay sober? You will get lots of good ideas as you look around here, but it's always a good idea to have a plan in mind to help you when the cravings hit.
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