LindaBrown123

I’m sick and tired of the same hamster wheel of drinking too much, feeling guilt, feeling rubbish, wrestling with my mind and caving in and drinking again.. fed up with the memory loss, hiding, lying, anxiety, laying wide awake at 3am .. I am scared to go sober though.. it’s terrifying.. but I don’t see why it is so daunting when alcohol is bringing nothing positive to my life. ☹️ Also I’m going to quit drinking during the week or unless I socialise and I’m hoping my intake will be less. It’s doubled over time and is getting out of control 😒

fishkiller

If you are like me, we are all different but also have much in common at times, your drinking will only get worse.
I recommend giving up the booze completely.
I too was deathly afraid of life without alcohol. That is the AV telling you alcohol is necessary. BS

Now my biggest fear would be alcohol re-entering life.

It is So Much Better without the poison.

Give it a go.
It ain't easy but it is worth it. X1,000,000,000

DriGuy

There is a strong consensus that total abstinence is the only way to recover, and that moderating only works for people who are not alcoholics. This is also supported by an understanding of the chemistry of addiction. Any alcohol introduced to the system, be it only a special occasion or some dire circumstance, reawakens the addiction and rather quickly establishes the addiction cycle. It also supported by all those alcoholics, who felt like they were cured after many years of sobriety and tried drinking again to test the waters.

The basic chemistry involved doesn't care what your motivations for drinking are or how well you feel. We all feel well after we quit, but that feeling is entirely dependent on not reestablishing the addiction cycle.

biminiblue

Yeah, I tried all the moderation tricks you'll ever hear or read about but the only way to lasting peace is complete abstinence.

I wasn't afraid, it was time.

AL48

Sadness .Anxiety. Sick and on and on it goes. Moderating. Weekends only. Water in between beers or wine .
Tried all of the above and it didn't work. Felt all of the above and the only cure was giving it up for good. Best thing I've every done for myself and others around me.
It was very difficult and the AV tried everything to change my mind. I didn't and so glad for that.
I think you know what to do and i hope it works out for you.

Radix

If alcohol is causing you problems, then moderating is a way to make sure those problems are always within arm's reach.

Anna

Welcome. As others have said, moderating doesn't work for alcoholics. It's really so much easier to stop drinking for good. I hope you make the choice to live a sober life.

Alpine

I have tried to moderate thinking I have absolute control and could do it, nope...Not at all. My best course has been to stay away from it all together. I feel far better on many levels that way. It has been difficult and I have aways to go but I am a better place in life now. I wish you the very best.

Hevyn

Linda - I'm so glad you joined us & want to make a big change in your life. I felt so much better when I came here & knew others understood.
I can't believe I spent so many years insisting drinking was making my life more fun & helping me stay calm. In the end, it did just the opposite. We don't need it complicating our lives.

Dee74

Welcome Linda

some great advice here…the only thing that worked for me it was complete abstinence.
it might sound scary but it’s actually easier than trying to moderate.

Hope to see you around some more

D

brighterday1234

For an alcoholic only total abstinence is the solution if one wants to be happy. Moderation will never work.

VikingGF

I know I was also petrified of being fully sober- but I promise not one of those fears were valid- in fact, I can't even remember what they were!

Read around here and you will learn plenty. Good luck on your journey, what ever it may be!

RecklessDrunk

The anxiety, memory loss, and that stuff does not stay the same it gets worse with more time drinking.

If you think this through clearly to continue drinking should be more terrifying.

Obladi

LInda, welcome.

Whichever way you decide to go with this, you've found a community that understands. Everyone here will tell you that moderation doesn't work, probably because every one of us tried to do the same thing. Doesn't mean we won't hear you out. Cuz we get it.

Keep posting.

O

Colin1

Hi Linda and welcome to SR

I have to agree with everyone posting about trying to drink occasionally not working. It doesn't work for me either and it took me too many decades to figure that out. It was scary to contemplate, but once I accepted it it was actually a relief.

Whatever path you decide to take, the folks here have been through it all and are very supportive. And there is a lot of very good information to be had here too if you look around a bit. All the best

Ladysadie

My drinking evolved slowly. It got to the point that when I couldn't sleep (which was most every night) I'd get up and mix a drink during the night, and even in the morning. I couldn't moderate at the end, and admitted to myself my consumption was at a dangerous level.

I can't be around it now -- and I don't want to. Sobriety isn't scary but the thought of me keeping drinking is.

MrPL

Hi Linda,

Well done for recognising you have a problem. This is step 1.

As toxic as alcohol is we all had this idea of controlling it, but I’ll also say I think it’s not really possible for alcoholics.

On the plus side, I think all of us here would say that sober life is a lot less scary than we previously thought, and a hell lot better than drinking life ever was (even when it was fun!).

I hope whatever you decide to do works for you.

DriGuy

As others have said, it is easier to quit drinking for good than to moderate. I found this to be surprisingly true when I finally made that my goal. Moderation is hard. In fact, moderation is arguably impossible. Quitting for good is not as easy as pie, at least at first, but between moderation and abstinence, abstinence is the one that is reachable. What the newcomer can't see is that quitting for good is so rewarding that some alcoholics in recovery call it a miracle. For me, it was a wonderful experience, and I'm proud to say I don't drink at all. After I accepted and decided to not drink at all, I discovered that abstinence does in fact become very easy, but before then, it did not sound appealing because we are alcoholics and we didn't want to quit.