Forgiving Ourselves this Weekend - Weekenders 20 - 23 May 2022
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I'm in.
Forgiving myself is really difficult. The repercussions of some of my actions are still popping up now and then, nasty little reminders. It's hard to get past. I can try to be all philosophical about it, but I still beat myself up way more than I should. It's all wrapped up in my childhood and young adult traumas and complicated to unpack. Working on it.
Big hugs to Manta and CBS.
Hope your move went well, least.
My house still feels so still and empty. My grief gets a little better each day, though.
Feeling like I will need to leave my job soon, unless a few things change, and I don't have much hope for that. I would have been perfectly OK with retiring very early a couple of months ago, but the stock market is very bad lately and my investments have taken a huge hit. Feeling a lot more cautious now, and if I do have to leave this job, feeling like I'll have to get another on ASAP. So hopefully things improve here.
Forgiving myself is really difficult. The repercussions of some of my actions are still popping up now and then, nasty little reminders. It's hard to get past. I can try to be all philosophical about it, but I still beat myself up way more than I should. It's all wrapped up in my childhood and young adult traumas and complicated to unpack. Working on it.
Big hugs to Manta and CBS.
Hope your move went well, least.
My house still feels so still and empty. My grief gets a little better each day, though.
Feeling like I will need to leave my job soon, unless a few things change, and I don't have much hope for that. I would have been perfectly OK with retiring very early a couple of months ago, but the stock market is very bad lately and my investments have taken a huge hit. Feeling a lot more cautious now, and if I do have to leave this job, feeling like I'll have to get another on ASAP. So hopefully things improve here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hi Weekenders,
Thanks for the new thread Mags.
I'm in for a sober weekend. To paraphrase one of your quotes, I'm doing the best I can in any (sober) moment. When drinking, it becomes chaos, and only leads to more "stuff" that it's hard to forgive myself over.
MantaLady, I'm sorry to read your news. I hope you may rally before long.
CBS, thinking of you.
Thanks for the new thread Mags.
I'm in for a sober weekend. To paraphrase one of your quotes, I'm doing the best I can in any (sober) moment. When drinking, it becomes chaos, and only leads to more "stuff" that it's hard to forgive myself over.
MantaLady, I'm sorry to read your news. I hope you may rally before long.
CBS, thinking of you.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
In for another sober weekend!
Thank you Mags. I wouldn't say I have forgiven myself for some of my actions but hopefully I have learned enough about them and some of the underlying issues that.facilitated some of my actions to at least stop beating myself up about them. You never move on otherwise.
MantaLady I'm really sorry you're having to go through this even if it is a known side effect. At least you're in the best place to deal with it.
Best wishes for you trip to Florida too CBS.
Congratulations on shotgun least! I hope the move went well and California is living up to your expectations.
So i'm back in London now but I went to some atmospheric and moss covered woods this morning close to my hotel. It was a great way to start the day.
Thank you Mags. I wouldn't say I have forgiven myself for some of my actions but hopefully I have learned enough about them and some of the underlying issues that.facilitated some of my actions to at least stop beating myself up about them. You never move on otherwise.
MantaLady I'm really sorry you're having to go through this even if it is a known side effect. At least you're in the best place to deal with it.
Best wishes for you trip to Florida too CBS.
Congratulations on shotgun least! I hope the move went well and California is living up to your expectations.
So i'm back in London now but I went to some atmospheric and moss covered woods this morning close to my hotel. It was a great way to start the day.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Manta, hope you feel much improved, soon. Hugs.
CBS, grief is so very, very difficult. The only way out is through; all of its stages are critical to resolution. Hugs your way.
Mags, I am so far behind in the posts; how are you feeling?
MLD, sorry to hear about the work situation. Hope you can see your way to retirement soon; many folks I know who are retired are anxious about their situations due to the recent downturns in the markets and inflation. Hope there is a reversal soon.
Sao, those woods are idyllic.
CBS, grief is so very, very difficult. The only way out is through; all of its stages are critical to resolution. Hugs your way.
Mags, I am so far behind in the posts; how are you feeling?
MLD, sorry to hear about the work situation. Hope you can see your way to retirement soon; many folks I know who are retired are anxious about their situations due to the recent downturns in the markets and inflation. Hope there is a reversal soon.
Sao, those woods are idyllic.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,688
Marty, I hope things get better work wise. 
MantaLady, thinking of you, sending more gentle hugs
Saou it looks the kind of forest that would make good film back drop.
Leigh, I’m not too bad thanks. Still got a cough and this morning got a massive headache but thankfully it’s not alcohol induced. Hope you’re doing ok.
Love to all Weekenders xxxx
MantaLady, thinking of you, sending more gentle hugs
Saou it looks the kind of forest that would make good film back drop.
Leigh, I’m not too bad thanks. Still got a cough and this morning got a massive headache but thankfully it’s not alcohol induced. Hope you’re doing ok.
Love to all Weekenders xxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,340
Sao, what you said, and LOVELY pics!
((((((Mantalady)))))))), so glad you are in a good place. Also glad you can follow along here in hospital.
CBS, safe travels to FL, what a great thing, a celebration of life…….
Marty, I’m sorry you are having a rough time. We’ve lost a lot too, and are at retirement age. It’s not so good here right now.
((((((Mantalady)))))))), so glad you are in a good place. Also glad you can follow along here in hospital.
CBS, safe travels to FL, what a great thing, a celebration of life…….
Marty, I’m sorry you are having a rough time. We’ve lost a lot too, and are at retirement age. It’s not so good here right now.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,340
Forgiving myself?
In my active sobriety it’s something I’m working on, visions that incite guilt flash across my mind every now and the, but feel more self compassion lately.
I think the guilt and shame that I had held onto morphed into resentful thoughts that led to my two year sobriety interruption in 2019.
i need peace, so I will think peacefully.
love to all
🤓❤️
In my active sobriety it’s something I’m working on, visions that incite guilt flash across my mind every now and the, but feel more self compassion lately.
I think the guilt and shame that I had held onto morphed into resentful thoughts that led to my two year sobriety interruption in 2019.
i need peace, so I will think peacefully.
love to all
🤓❤️
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,956
End of Day 187 - As Mags says, let's forgive ourselves and make peace with our past.
Thought of the day: My mind was constantly cruising at 50 mph. Alcohol reduced it to 20 mph for a couple of hours but then increased it to 80 mph the next day. So basically I was trying to calm down my thoughts and drinking away my worries. Perhaps if I had worked on my key issues rather than hide them by drinking, things would be a lot different. Anyways, I am making peace with myself.
Good night from Seattl.
Thought of the day: My mind was constantly cruising at 50 mph. Alcohol reduced it to 20 mph for a couple of hours but then increased it to 80 mph the next day. So basically I was trying to calm down my thoughts and drinking away my worries. Perhaps if I had worked on my key issues rather than hide them by drinking, things would be a lot different. Anyways, I am making peace with myself.
Good night from Seattl.
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