Anna

John, I'm sorry for all you are going through, but you seem to have a very positive attitude. Being in so much pain is awful for you, I'm sure. Hopefully your doctors can help you with that very soon. I'm glad you're looking at the practical issues such as transportation and food delivery.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, John. I know you will update us when you can.

2muchpain

I bought some easy to make food to eat. Lots of stuff full of calories!! Food I always avoided before. Also, The VA does provide door to door service, so, if they can fit me in tomorrow, will pick me up and take me home. Once there, if I can't walk well, they will provide a wheelchair. If they can't pick me up, I'll have to use Uber to get there. That meeting is much too important to miss. John

2muchpain

A few days ago, I took the meds that were prescribed for pain. I couldn't believe the difference. Pain went away and I managed to get a lot done. Felt normal for the first time in a long time. Didn't last long but it was great while it lasts. Really hate taking a prescription drug for pain though. If someone asked me three months ago if I would ever do that, I would of definitely said no way, but never imagined the kind of pain I have now. They will talk about other ways to deal with the pain other than constantly popping pills tomorrow. Just hate it. Doesn't feel normal. John

BackandScared

Really impressed on how you are dealing with such a difficult situation John. You seem so resourceful and wise to adapt to the circumstances, no matter how bad. I hope you get lots of help to manage the pain and the logistics, since the medical care sounds good and sorted.

Citrus

Hi John. I just wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers.
My wonderful Mom had pancreatic cancer. She chose to go on a jucing protocol (would not recommend) instead of chemo.
When she had her biopsy one of the doctors told her that they could talk about putting in a stent to open the bile duct to releive pain. Just thought you might want to bring that up to your doctors.

advbike

Glad the pain meds help, John. Your attitude is excellent - I think a lot of us can learn from you right now.

Keep up the good fight, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Obladi

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that you actually took the medication, John. When you tell yourself "it's not normal" to take the meds, please bear in mind that "it's not normal" to have cancer either. As long as you keep to the meds as prescribed and don't start downing them in an addictive way (you know what that feels like), try to stay away from self-incrimination.

It's also wonderful that you have figured out logistics for getting to and from your appointments and around the medical campus as well. I hope some of your high calorie food was ice cream. Shakes are a great way to pack in a ton of calories without too much efffort. And they are also delicious.

I'll be pulling for you to have a very successful day with your care team tomorrow.

O

2muchpain

I always saw medication as last resort and that everything should be done first. But considering the incredible pain I'm dealing with, I have to accept the fact that I have tried everything to deal with this and has not worked and the pain is only getting worse. Plus, I hate depending on meds or people to help me deal with my problems. But this problem is way past anything I can do by myself. It sucks but I have to accept that.
Nowadays, my menu is very different than before. Instead of avoiding calories, I'm trying to increase them. Yes, ice cream is on that menu including pudding, shakes and smoothies. Ice-cream sandwiches. Eating a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Adding sugar and milk to my coffee. Bagels with cream cheese. Really have to change my mindset to do this.
Transportation wise, the VA is suppose to pick me up but if that fails, I'll call Uber.
All in all doing ok, but things would be a lot better if they can do something about this pain. Thanks for caring, John

VikingGF

Wishing you all the best, John.

2muchpain

I remember one time last week where I was in a lot of pain. So, I took a full dose of the pain med. Usually I wait until bedtime, but the pain was so bad, I took it early. Anyway, an hour later, the pain was gone. All of a sudden my mood changed. I cleaned my apartment, paid bills, organized stuff. I felt like my old self again. Up until then, I had no idea what a toll this has taken on me. It was like living in two different worlds. I know things look pretty bleak right now, but that moment showed me that the old self is still in there, waiting to get out and get things back to normal. It's just waiting for the right moment. John

2muchpain

Don't worry about me abusing the medication, especially pain meds. I've been on pain meds before and there's usually some left over at the end of the month. Just not my thing. John

Dropsie

John,

I wanted you to know I am thinking of you.

X

Hawkeye13

Sending you good wishes today for your appointment John.

Update when you can—we are here for you!

2muchpain

The meeting today went well, but it wasn't to talk about when the chem start, etc. The doctor talked about the pain I was going through plus other things they can do to help me throughout the process. It was pretty extensive of all the options available depending on how things progress. Felt great that all this was there if I should need it. She also prescribed meds for the pain. She said to make sure I wasn't abusing it. I told her pills of any kind, especially pain meds is something I would not do. Just don't like taking medication for anything. She was concerned about my suicide attempts in the past. I told her the only reason I was considering it now was to get relief from the pain.
She called me later to make sure I got the meds and to let me I can call anytime to talk, and that I'm not alone. That really surprised me. These people are beyond amazing. I really lucked out finding this place. Just helps to know I can call anytime to just talk. Never experienced this before. John

Anna

John, it sounds like you have a terrific doctor/team helping guide you through this. I'm glad that things went pretty well today.

Dee74

best thoughts wishes and prayers John

D

fishkiller

Sounds like you will be well taken care of!

Hawkeye13

I am so happy you have a caring doctor like that—it makes all the difference in feeling supported and positive about treatment.

It is also good to know all the options and to have medication that can treat the pain so you can function and have some peace and beneficial rest.

Thanks for the update John and your uplifting positive outlook—you rock!

Obladi

I'm so glad that your experience with the care team was so positive. It makes all the difference in the world, knowing that the clinicians charged with our health truly care about us. It sounds like your doctor is the very best kind - someone to whom you matter because you are their patient.

Of course, you know the doctor is going to watch out for you with the pain meds as well. It only makes sense that the two of you would be cautious about this. Which you already have been. I hope this helps you to put aside your hesitation to treat your pain as instructed by your provider. I know you're worried that you may slip out of control with this, and it's certainly a valid concern, but having never had a problem with pills and having this great sense of caution will hold you in good stead. It's all about balance, and it seems that you've really got that going for you, John.

O

2muchpain

Slept well last night. Little pain. Woke up this morning starting to hurt. Took a pain pill. Pain was gone. Suppose to take the pain pill three times a day, but am going to try to take only two. If pain is under control, will start using the community gym to get my strength back. Now that would be progress. Might even help with pain so I can reduce the pain meds. John