Icandothis2013

Well I wasn’t so strong as I thought I was. I gave in and last night drank a bottle of wine and a bit out of another one.Threw the rest away.
I cold, tired and irritated with everything and nothing.
I knew I’d regret it and I do!!
Idiotic.

Steely

You don't need to be strong to give it away Ican. Sweet surrender.

I reckon it's all learning. And now you know, and that's a good thing. I'm sorry though.

You are Ican and will triumph.

Onwards.

decchemist

Well done for being honest and coming straight back.

Dee74

I am also glad you came back ICDT.

You know that you can stop, and stay stopped for periods of time. Now it’s time to work on a commitment to permenency….

you know the drill - redraft your plan, think about other ways to deal with irritation and other uncomfortable feelings.
Try to work out what stopped you from: posting here first.

Tough questions I know - but they’ll serve you well down the road.

D

Surrendered19

I hope today you aren't feeling too rough today ICDT. With just the one night of imbibing, your nice stretch of sobriety is still all there for you. Mentally and physically, you are still reaping huge benefits from those 40+ days.

Let's raise a cup of tea to a nice peaceful quiet sober weekend ahead during which you cook one of your amazing dishes!!!!

YCDT ICDT!!!!

2muchpain

Sometimes it can take many attempts before sobriety kicks in. It's a very tough habit to break so don't be too hard on yourself. Stay strong and keep moving forward. John

Mizz

Rome was not built in a day.
I too had many stops and starts. Be gentle with you.

Behappy1

Same here ICDT. I have had so very many starts/stops. I am only on day 13 and truthfully within the last year that is one of the longest stretches for me. Be gentle on yourself, take it easy this weekend. I don't know if I would have had the courage to post. I probably would have tucked tail and isolated like always. So good for you! That takes strength and courage.

Hawkeye13

Dee’s questions and suggestions are spot on.

In my case, I have been learning that it isn’t so much a case of being “strong” but strategically strong. By this, I mean that as you gain new tools to cope with emotional discomfort, you are simultaneously building new neural pathways and it gets so much easier to say no to alcohol as the “grooves” in the new, healthier paths deepen.

Honestly analyzing where your weak spots lie in your sobriety plan is essential to get sober-time really built up if you tend to relapse. This has also been something very helpful to my success in finally getting the plan tight and effective. I also review any and all moments of temptation carefully when my cravings occur and afterwards.

You have been working on this with your yoga / meditation and it will pay off in so many ways.

Well done on getting right back on the wagon!

dustyfox

Brilliant that you came straight back - that in itself shows how much you want to kick the habit.
As Dee said you know you can go for long stretches of time, it is just working out how you go from those weeks of sobriety to accepting that sobriety can last for the rest of the month, year, rest of your life, how ever long you want it to.
I don't know how much of a problem your drinking is, or has been, but I guess because you are here you must think it is a pretty big problem. Me too, I mean , I think I had a pretty big problem. Now as every week goes by, despite good days/bad days overall I accept that me and alcohol are over.
Welcome back! Really pleased to see you!

Anna

I'm glad you're back, Ican, and it's good to remember that you've been doing well. Was there something specific that triggered you last night?

Hevyn

Now you are armed with more knowledge, & further proof that it brings nothing but misery. I had to slip a couple times before I finally understood I could never touch a drop. I'm so glad you wanted to be open about what happened. You learned something valuable.

calmself

Great job in admitting, pouring out the rest of the second bottle and for quickly coming back. Shows how much you want to get rid of this demon. You have the strength of many sober days, now. Please do not beat yourself up. Just take it one day at a time!

Nonsensical

I gave in about a thousand times.
Not one of them was worth it.
Welcome back.
You never have to drink again.

advbike

^^^ What they said.. so proud of you for being honest and coming right back, Ican, instead of drinking for a week or two.

If you get right back in the saddle you will stay in good shape and it won't set you back to the horrible fatigue and bad sleep that you experienced on prior relapses.

I hope you're resting and cooking those amazing meals!

VikingGF

You can do this, ican. Remember- you don’t have to think about forever, just TODAY. Keep at it.

Steely

It's going to be alright Ican.

How you doing?

anxiousrock

You poured the rest out and came back here. That's a positive. You want to quit and you can do it!

dustyfox

Hi ICAN - I have sent you a message.
Looking forward to seeing you soon. x

Hevyn

Thoughts are with you, Ican.