jimmymac62

Help. Total loud and just rude. He has time . should I find anther meeting. Got really pissed yesterday . Advice,thanks

biminiblue

Only you can decide if you should go back. When I have a strong reaction to someone, I need to examine myself and figure out why.

There are definitely some characters in meetings...and in life in general.

jimmymac62

ok thanks. have a good day

Dee74

Hi Jimmy,

I moved your thread here to the main forum. You’ll get more response that way

I’m not in AA but if this guy bothers you so much is another meeting an option?

D

Anna

I'm not in AA either, but if the person is really obnoxious, maybe try to find a different meeting.

RAL

I would go to another meeting. I went to aa many years ago but couldn't stand the war stories and big talk. I lived in a quiet place where there was no alternative than that meeting. I never went back. I hope you can find an alternative meeting

venuscat

There is usually a group secretary, and a group conscience. If no one is asking this guy to tone it down during the meeting, I imagine they are discussing it in the group conscience and deciding what to do. You can ask the group secretary if they are dealing with this, if you are comfortable doing that.

If it is a matter of personalities, well, you are in the right place.
Because 'principles before personalities' is one of the things AA is about.
Perhaps this person has been put in your path for a reason?
I know that is what I would be thinking.

Surrendered19

They need an ignore button on the wall and one of SR's amazing mods to be there to moderate the conversation. But failing that, I would keep going to that meeting and see if the vibe stays the same. Maybe it was a one-off thing? I don't do AA, but I know many who do and I rarely hear of a glaring problem at one of their meetings. I think it is worth attending a half-dozen more meetings and see what happens.

dustyfox

I think sometimes we just have a chemical reaction to other people for good or bad - if this guy really grates on you and you just can't bare to be near him, then find another meeting. But maybe think first could you maybe just ignore him, accept him? Only you can know!

Steely

When you say you got "really pissed" did you mean angry, or drunk? We say 'pissed' for drunk in Australia.

In the ealy days lots of people will **** us off Jimmy. It's the learning how to cope with it, let it go, that's the good bit, and the only bit worth learning.

D122y

SR became my support and place to learn.

My AA meetings had some serious time hogging/story tellers. I used to vent here about them. Some folks swear by AA.

I was on a cruise ship and there was a nice man looking all over for the AA meeting. Nobody but him showed up. There were over 3000 folks on the boat. hmm....

I went to about 2 dozen meetings before I decided this was my place.

Bottom line for me is that if you are going to relapse unless you go to a meeting, then forget about the bully guy and go. Otherwise, use SR and try to find another p2p meeting place.

Thanks.

Cantonian

I always try to use situations that used ot make me impatient or irritated as lessons and opportunities to practice my patience, acceptance and understanding and even for gratitude that I can recognize this and move forward from it, usually when I remind myself of this I am successful at it. AA meetings are just a microcosm of "life on life's terms".

nez

Some people show me what I want to be. Some people show me what I don't want to be. They are all lessons I can learn from. Worse come to worse, I go to my fallback position that if I expect a loud rude person be something other than loud and rude, then who is the unreasonable one? Not only that but I am pretty stubborn and hardheaded, so I be damned if I am going to let a loud rude person keep me out of a place I want, deserve, and need to be.

Steely

I worked with a woman who loved AA. Reckoned it saved her life. She was also a very good cartoonist, and loved her cat mooey.

I still have have some of her cartoons with mooey in the chair at AA meeting. Some of the cats sitting in the meeting, listening, were tapping their watches. 😂

I loved my friend C.

C loved AA.

2muchpain

Even though most AA meetings are basically the same, they can also be very different, especially with the people that attend them. I'm sure you will be find one that suits you. Keep searching. Good luck. John

anxiousrock

This is one of the downsides, there are huge jerks out there.
if you have the means try another group!!! There are good people out there that will help you.
I had a bad experience where I was laughed at by a jerk member for my consumption.

If you liked the meeting other than that one person i highly recommend going back and getting the story! Why is he a jerk, what is he going through and what did they. Ask another member if that is their regular attitude? If it is, maybe seek another group

Hodd

By the nature of their work, AA must surely have policies to deal with unpleasant people. Jimmymac, it would be well worth complaining about this person. If they’re as bad as you say, others will feel the same. I hope it works out. Stick with it.

lastorder

3 Serenity prayers.

KAD65

It's your recovery. And although you will likely encounter bothersome people wherever you go, if this person is too much of a stumbling block for you at this point in your recovery, and you have other options, i.e. groups, available, then I would see no problem with checking them out. I once left a meeting because of a similarly disruptive and rude person, with over 2 decades of sobriety. It wasn't helping, so I moved on. Best wishes to you.

Nonsensical

He is a sick and suffering alcoholic.
Pray for his recovery.
It might just help yours.