Finally Getting it!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2022
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by MrPL 
That s the spirit Jag!
I had my first attempt of properly quitting at 32, and ended up drinking again after almost 2 years sober.
So by all means, do keep up the good vibes but definitely remain vigilant.
I’m just 6 months sober here, at 38 now, but the rule here is to focus on the day ahead, not the days behind. I won’t ever be less an alcoholic, it’s just a daily choice not to exercise that side of me.
Glad to see your life is improving sober, and well done for 5 months!
I had my first attempt of properly quitting at 32, and ended up drinking again after almost 2 years sober.
So by all means, do keep up the good vibes but definitely remain vigilant.
I’m just 6 months sober here, at 38 now, but the rule here is to focus on the day ahead, not the days behind. I won’t ever be less an alcoholic, it’s just a daily choice not to exercise that side of me.
Glad to see your life is improving sober, and well done for 5 months!
Secondly, thank you for this insight. I've never really thought of it as being an alcoholic forever and just choosing not to drink. This very eye opening for me and hopefully will help me get to day 1 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 96
Haven't posted in a while. I was doing really well for about a year and a half. I recently fell off a bit and was drinking pretty heavily for about 2 weeks. This time, however, I did not let myself fall into a pit of despair. I put on my big boy pants and did a week and half taper. Today marks 4 days of no alcohol. I am mad at myself for allowing my brain to trick myself into thinking I could try and moderate. It is funny how a year and a half sober did nothing to stop me from going straight back to the hell that led me to get sober. Well a year and a half and my alcoholic brain can easily revert back to my old ways. From this day forward I will never ever tempt fate again and will enjoy the simple things in life. My family deserves to have a present father and my wife deserves a present husband. In all honesty, I do not have the strength to do battle with alcohol anymore and it will not be a part of my world moving forward. I will take this minor hiccup and keep the train moving down the line. Carry on my fellow friends in recovery, we all slip up. However, it is what we do to rebound and move forward that matters most. I know what I am capable of when sober and I know what I am capable of when drinking. Drinking does nothing to improve my life or alleviate anxiety. I know that I need to consume my time with healthy habits and make family and playing hockey my priorities. I have tried AA, but it 100% was not for me at all. It definitely can help a lot of people, but rehashing the same stuff over and over is very tiresome to me. The only way that I can be accountable is personal accountability and integrity. Good luck on the journey everyone.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
It is funny how a year and a half sober did nothing to stop me from going straight back to the hell that led me to get sober. Well a year and a half and my alcoholic brain can easily revert back to my old ways. From this day forward I will never ever tempt fate again and will enjoy the simple things in life. My family deserves to have a present father and my wife deserves a present husband. In all honesty, I do not have the strength to do battle with alcohol anymore and it will not be a part of my world moving forward.
No sober time will reset us, no return to our old lives will produce a different result.
We don't become non-addicted - but we can absolutely live our best lives by staying sober
best wishes to you with Recovery 2.0 jagrnaut
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Happy to see you posting, Jag! I'm so glad you're back with new resolve.
This happened to me, too. I had 3 yrs. sober. Without even giving it much thought I decided it would be ok to have 'a glass' of wine with a friend. I'd forgotten that for us, there is no such thing as ONE. That night I drank many - and because nothing bad happened I continued. A few months later I was right back in the hell I'd been in before getting sober. That was the last time, though - I was finally convinced I can never touch a drop. Nearly 16 yrs. later - I've never forgotten that harrowing experience. We will never betray ourselves that way again.
Congratulations on your 4 days.
This happened to me, too. I had 3 yrs. sober. Without even giving it much thought I decided it would be ok to have 'a glass' of wine with a friend. I'd forgotten that for us, there is no such thing as ONE. That night I drank many - and because nothing bad happened I continued. A few months later I was right back in the hell I'd been in before getting sober. That was the last time, though - I was finally convinced I can never touch a drop. Nearly 16 yrs. later - I've never forgotten that harrowing experience. We will never betray ourselves that way again.
Congratulations on your 4 days.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: WI
Posts: 117
Welcome back, MM. I had three years down cold and slipped. I quickly slipped back to my old ways, for about two years. I was exceedingly good at hiding it, which was not helping me…anyway, your back after a short period. Congratulations, I’d love to hear about what you point to as the trigger or cause…if your willing to share. Or maybe the more appropriate question to ask is what do you think you’ll do differently this time, 18 months out?
I am happy you’re here. I enjoyed and benefited from your posts.
I am happy you’re here. I enjoyed and benefited from your posts.
The Dog
Join Date: Apr 2023
Location: Fly over state USA
Posts: 5,166
This is where I am right now. I became a raging alcoholic at a young age. I quit within a few months of getting married and went over twenty five years without drinking. I then thought I could have a few social drinks with friends. Within a year I was back to binge drinking alone at home for days or even weeks at a time. Tomorrow will be a month for me and I know the only way I will stay quit is to not touch alcohol at all. AA didn't work for me either. The more AA meetings I went to the more I wanted to drink. I determined I must just distance myself from alcohol. No parties with friends drinking. No hanging out at bars playing pool. And yes, no AA meetings where we talk about drinking. I really feel it is as simple as reminding myself every day that I do not drink.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Unless you've worked those 12 steps of AA, you haven't really "tried" AA. Those 12 step saved my life. I had 25 years of attempts with stopping drinking and kept relapsing unti I worked those 12 steps.
I'm working on my 13th year of not drinking because I worked those 12 steps of AA, Yes, I, too, believed that AA made me drink more or that AA didn't work, until those 12 steps.
I don't live in the past today. I live in the here and now. My life is so totally awesome today and I have no complaints. Thanks to AA and those 12 steps. Please don't knock it unless you've fully attempted to work the program of AA (the 12 steps), Meetings are not where I spend my time; I live in the real world today.
When you find that you can't stay stopped, maybe AA will be there for you too!
I'm working on my 13th year of not drinking because I worked those 12 steps of AA, Yes, I, too, believed that AA made me drink more or that AA didn't work, until those 12 steps.
I don't live in the past today. I live in the here and now. My life is so totally awesome today and I have no complaints. Thanks to AA and those 12 steps. Please don't knock it unless you've fully attempted to work the program of AA (the 12 steps), Meetings are not where I spend my time; I live in the real world today.
When you find that you can't stay stopped, maybe AA will be there for you too!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,963
Jag
AA wasn't for me either. That's OK, there are other ways just as effective to stay sober happy, joyous, and free without AA. Yes AA works for some but not all people with alcoholism fit into AA. I know through personal experience that to be True.
AA or not, drinking has to be off the table for me. I use AVRT among other recovery tools to keep that voice in the back of my head just one drink would be sweet in check.
You have a sober experience that will never be taken away from you. That will come in handy now. Learn and live well Keep posting.
AA wasn't for me either. That's OK, there are other ways just as effective to stay sober happy, joyous, and free without AA. Yes AA works for some but not all people with alcoholism fit into AA. I know through personal experience that to be True.
AA or not, drinking has to be off the table for me. I use AVRT among other recovery tools to keep that voice in the back of my head just one drink would be sweet in check.
You have a sober experience that will never be taken away from you. That will come in handy now. Learn and live well
Keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by jagrnaut
I have been a heavy drinker for over 16 years. This past year the alcohol finally caught up with me. It got to the point where I was drinking to stave off withdrawals and the drinking no longer was the fun that it used to be. In march I tried to taper off on my own and ended up waking up in my living room with medics and fireman due to the fact that I had a seizure, literally 4 hours after my last drink (major problem clearly). I stopped shortly after that experience after using Benzos to tape off, which sucked really bad but was necessary to detox safely. Fast forward I had several slip ups. The most recent after 4 months of being sober in January, which resulted in me admitting myself to a detox facility for 5 days to safely detox. I can't express how important it is for anyone trying to quit, to safely do so. I am now almost 2 months sober again and I feel amazing. I feel that this time is different and although I had a slip up, I have almost 6 months sober. I have put my focus into coaching my kids sports and making sure that I keep myself on track and hold myself accountable. For once in my life, I finally feel that I can kick this nasty habit for good. I luckily am only 37, but I realize that I can't even have just one drink. I am an alcoholic, but I will not let that define me as a person! Good luck to everyone struggling out there and just know that day by day things can get better and you can break the horrible cycle of being trapped by alcohol. I can't say it enough how freeing it is to finally be somewhat removed from the hell I was constantly putting my body through. I am also happy to not be disappointing my family, alcoholism is not an addiction that only affects the person drinking. My addiction was affecting those that I love, and I refuse to put them through it again. There is only so much sympathy if you don't take a hard look at yourself and make the changes that are needed, which is what I had to do. I am the only person that can make my sobriety stick and I know that I have a lifetime of work ahead of me to ensure that I stay accountable. Take care everyone and keep pushing!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by sugarbear1
Unless you've worked those 12 steps of AA, you haven't really "tried" AA. Those 12 step saved my life. I had 25 years of attempts with stopping drinking and kept relapsing unti I worked those 12 steps.
I'm working on my 13th year of not drinking because I worked those 12 steps of AA, Yes, I, too, believed that AA made me drink more or that AA didn't work, until those 12 steps.
I don't live in the past today. I live in the here and now. My life is so totally awesome today and I have no complaints. Thanks to AA and those 12 steps. Please don't knock it unless you've fully attempted to work the program of AA (the 12 steps), Meetings are not where I spend my time; I live in the real world today.
When you find that you can't stay stopped, maybe AA will be there for you too!
I'm working on my 13th year of not drinking because I worked those 12 steps of AA, Yes, I, too, believed that AA made me drink more or that AA didn't work, until those 12 steps.
I don't live in the past today. I live in the here and now. My life is so totally awesome today and I have no complaints. Thanks to AA and those 12 steps. Please don't knock it unless you've fully attempted to work the program of AA (the 12 steps), Meetings are not where I spend my time; I live in the real world today.
When you find that you can't stay stopped, maybe AA will be there for you too!
Thanks for the response, and I am glad that AA worked for you. Unfortunately, I have given it several attempts at different meetings and it isn't for me. I know what I need to do moving forward and I know that I clearly am not capable of moderation even after a year and a half of sobriety. What I had been doing was working and I am back on the right path after 10 days now. I definitely understand that it is an issue that will never leave me and that 100% sobriety is the only way for me to be successful. In my own way I have been technically doing my own steps in terms of apologizing for my actions and taking responsibility without passing the buck or making any excuses. I am the only person that can make my sobriety stick at the end of the day and I don't need to go to a meeting and feel like it is a competition of who hit the bottom the hardest. The fact is, I stepped off the elevator before I hit my bottom. I didn't allow it to go any further, and I have pulled myself out of the dangerous withdrawal period. Time to push forward and use what I have learned to stay on track.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by Itsbeentoolong
Welcome back, MM. I had three years down cold and slipped. I quickly slipped back to my old ways, for about two years. I was exceedingly good at hiding it, which was not helping me…anyway, your back after a short period. Congratulations, I’d love to hear about what you point to as the trigger or cause…if your willing to share. Or maybe the more appropriate question to ask is what do you think you’ll do differently this time, 18 months out?
I am happy you’re here. I enjoyed and benefited from your posts.
I am happy you’re here. I enjoyed and benefited from your posts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 96
Today marks 11 days without a drink!!! Small drop in the bucket, but a step back in the right direction. Stay strong everyone out there trying to push through the early days. I can definitely say that I am enjoying my mornings again and just the simple things like a cup of coffee in the morning. It is also nice to feel so much clearer headed and other than the fact that I am eating everything in sight, I am feeling better with every passing day. I don't feel like I am rotting from the inside out anymore. No more poison will enter this body for as long as I have air to breathe.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 96
I forgot to mention, yesterday I was pulled over for speeding (75 in a 65). Small ticket and no big deal, first one in 20 years. However, the first thing I thought of was thank God I am not drinking anymore. A simple speeding ticket weeks ago could have been a DUI, although I try to never ever drink and drive. It is just one of those things that makes you stop and think. The potential to hurt others or yourself, lose your license for a year, 10,000 dollar fine, increased insurance and jail. None of those things are worth the small relief that alcohol falsely promises the alcoholic brain. Life is too short to waste.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by Hevyn
11 days - that's wonderful, Jag.
Oh yes, I remember the terror of having those flashing lights pull up behind me. It can never be allowed to happen again.
Oh yes, I remember the terror of having those flashing lights pull up behind me. It can never be allowed to happen again.
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