I have made it to year 9 , just!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 18
I have made it to year 9 , just!
This year has been hard to stay sober! I don't particularly know why, maybe i was expecting that in time being an alcoholic would fade, the longer I was sober. Its my birthday today of 9 years sobriety. I have started more frequently to think about having a cold beer or a glass of wine on a hot summers day to enable me to relax. I question , have I changed ? could I drink normally? The reality is I realise I have to work harder to stay sober, I am hoping this will pass , as it has before. Amen.
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,340
Hi George from down under!
HUGE congrats !
Nope, once we become a pickle, we can’t go back to being a cucumber.
Glad you’re here, your soul is begging you NOT TO GO ‘THERE’. Hell. Drinking hell.
Take a search read and put in “relapse”. I haven’t read ANY posts where someone went back and controlled it, or were glad they did.
The book “Alcohol Explained” is excellent, you can read 30 pages for free online, or get the book instantly for like $12 US.
Stay strong, use those tools, don’t get fooled by the beast.
HUGE congrats !
Nope, once we become a pickle, we can’t go back to being a cucumber.
Glad you’re here, your soul is begging you NOT TO GO ‘THERE’. Hell. Drinking hell.
Take a search read and put in “relapse”. I haven’t read ANY posts where someone went back and controlled it, or were glad they did.
The book “Alcohol Explained” is excellent, you can read 30 pages for free online, or get the book instantly for like $12 US.
Stay strong, use those tools, don’t get fooled by the beast.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
9 years - how fabulous, George. Thanks for sharing the good news.
I made the mistake of thinking I would have control after 3 yrs. sober. Surely I had learned a lesson?!
NO - no, I did not. I was right back to my old ways before long. This time it was much harder to regain my sobriety. I almost didn't make it. This won't happen to you!
I made the mistake of thinking I would have control after 3 yrs. sober. Surely I had learned a lesson?!
NO - no, I did not. I was right back to my old ways before long. This time it was much harder to regain my sobriety. I almost didn't make it. This won't happen to you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Congrats on year nine George 
First off that "cold beer or a glass of wine on a hot summers day" may sound appealing but that wasn't the reality of my drinking, and I doubt it was yours either.
My reality was drinking too much, embarrassing myself, and having to be carried home, or continuing drinking heavily on a weeks long bender.
Play the tape through to the end as they say - and don't confuse abstinence for control. They are not the same thing.
In a wider sense, for me, I had to do more than just not drinking.
I'm wondering in what other ways you've changed your life?
Drinking became my one and only solution to everything.
The more other solutions I found, the less that drinking solution seemed appealing.
Maybe this is a good chance to figure out what's bothering you and find a better non alcoholic way to deal with it?
If you find it hard to relax - what have tried so far?
D
First off that "cold beer or a glass of wine on a hot summers day" may sound appealing but that wasn't the reality of my drinking, and I doubt it was yours either.
My reality was drinking too much, embarrassing myself, and having to be carried home, or continuing drinking heavily on a weeks long bender.
Play the tape through to the end as they say - and don't confuse abstinence for control. They are not the same thing.
In a wider sense, for me, I had to do more than just not drinking.
I'm wondering in what other ways you've changed your life?
Drinking became my one and only solution to everything.
The more other solutions I found, the less that drinking solution seemed appealing.
Maybe this is a good chance to figure out what's bothering you and find a better non alcoholic way to deal with it?
If you find it hard to relax - what have tried so far?
D
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Nine years is wonderful - and Thank Goodness you posted so that you can read your replies and ponder how you must never succumb to that summer day/cold beer/wine fantasy so many of have/have had....it's just not real!
Nine years is fantastic!
Nine years is fantastic!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
That is great ! I have 9 years too. I stopped drinking the day I joined sober recovery in October 2012. I NEVER thought I would last as long as I have. My heart is bursting with gratitude as I am sure yours is too. I share your feelings of joy and freedom from the bondage of drunkenness. I can't believe how self reliant I have become over the years. I know what you mean about thinking about having a drink this past year. I still say out loud " I will NEVER drink again!". I learned that sober hack from this place the first couple days I started posting and reading the forums. It really works for me. I am so happy for you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Congrats on 9 years! That's fantastic. I am wondering what made this year the hardest one, was it outside stressors and what can you change to move forward solidly in your wonderful sobriety? Good work, you are an inspiration.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,061
Congratulations on 9 years!
Yes a nice glass of wine sitting in the shade on a hot day sounds a perfect way to relax. But what happens when you finish the glass, will you happily go on with your day, or will you want more? Maybe just finish the bottle as it's open now.
Tomorrow comes, a nice glass of wine would be nice, sitting in the shade (again), may as well finish the bottle. Enjoy
One month on, a bottle of wine would be nice, oh that hardly touched the sides. Better get two...
Six months on two bottles of wine to start then some vodka as you can't get the buzz.
Alcoholism is progressive not recessive.
Keep those flood gates firmly closed.
Yes a nice glass of wine sitting in the shade on a hot day sounds a perfect way to relax. But what happens when you finish the glass, will you happily go on with your day, or will you want more? Maybe just finish the bottle as it's open now.
Tomorrow comes, a nice glass of wine would be nice, sitting in the shade (again), may as well finish the bottle. Enjoy
One month on, a bottle of wine would be nice, oh that hardly touched the sides. Better get two...
Six months on two bottles of wine to start then some vodka as you can't get the buzz.
Alcoholism is progressive not recessive.
Keep those flood gates firmly closed.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Originally Posted by George16 
This year has been hard to stay sober! I don't particularly know why, maybe i was expecting that in time being an alcoholic would fade, the longer I was sober. Its my birthday today of 9 years sobriety. I have started more frequently to think about having a cold beer or a glass of wine on a hot summers day to enable me to relax. I question , have I changed ? could I drink normally? The reality is I realise I have to work harder to stay sober, I am hoping this will pass , as it has before. Amen.
I'm in a similar situation, just over nine years. In the last eight or so I can't say as I've had a lot of cravings but the drinking dreams have never totally gone away! I'll go maybe six months without one and think maybe I've moved on to a new phase of sobriety only to get whacked by one again. At least now I kind of 'lucid dream' my drinking dreams; I'll know in the dream that I'm only dreaming and still actually sober. But it's kind of rattling at times.
You're right, when it's hot I can image how a nice glass of chilled Chardonnay would be! And on rare occasions I'll recall how nice a bone dry Cab would be with a good steak. But for me those thoughts are kind of like watching a sci-fi film. I mean, it would be cool to have a lightsaber or to be able to transport like on the Enterprise but it's just a fantasy. Booze just can't be part of my life. Another nine years from now if I'm still alive will be 18 years sober but I'm confident I'll have no more ability to drink in moderation then as I did 20 years ago.
The big difference now vs eight years ago is that those thoughts don't fill me with sorrow anymore. What I do is maybe a cliche but it's play the tape forward. I know how it will end because of how it ended every time for 25 years. If you struggle, that's what SR is for! Coming back here reminds me of what I've gained but also of what I have to lose by going back out there. My life isn't perfect but it's an amazing gift compared to where I'd be if I hadn't found SR.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,598
Congratulations on 9 years George. I hope to be able to say same for myself in 7 years time. I am now 2 years sober and so very grateful.
I picked up after 5 years George and it didn't work. I wanted the white wine in the sun, but the sun went down, everyone left the picnic, and I was still drinking. It was horrible and I appreciate these 2 years like no other. Don't lose your 9 years George it is something to cherish. The AV is a fantacist.
I am now 2 years sober and so very grateful. I picked up after 5 years George and it didn't work. I wanted the white wine in the sun, but the sun went down, everyone left the picnic, and I was still drinking. It was horrible and I appreciate these 2 years like no other. Don't lose your 9 years George it is something to cherish. The AV is a fantacist.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
I am reminded of the following admonition in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
I could not stay sober till I completely gave myself to the spiritual program of action set forth in A.A. Before that, I relapsed three times after being sober two years or more. Today, my spiritual program of action consists of: (1) regular A.A. meeting attendance, (2) on-going step-work, and (3) on-going service-work.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat further about any of that.
"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
I could not stay sober till I completely gave myself to the spiritual program of action set forth in A.A. Before that, I relapsed three times after being sober two years or more. Today, my spiritual program of action consists of: (1) regular A.A. meeting attendance, (2) on-going step-work, and (3) on-going service-work.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat further about any of that.
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