Day 2
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
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The drink to reward yourself, the drink to celebrate, the drink because you feel happy - you're right they were all triggers to drink, in my case practically anything that happened was cause enough to drink! Congratulations on getting through the weekend. I hope you get through Monday. Tuesday should be easier.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Originally Posted by Karamazov 
Got the 'let's have a drink to celebrate the not drinking at weekend' situation going on. Never understood that!
I also found it helpful to re-think my idea of a reward. If drinking was how I rewarded myself, how the hell would I punish myself. Too scary to even think about.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: London
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by nez
I know that feeling. Have had that feeling. The good news is that you don't have to understand it. You just need to know what to do when you have it. For me, it was ignoring it, knowing why to ignore it, and to talk with other alcoholics to reinforce why to ignore it. It appears that you already doing those things. Goodatcha and stay strong. I never regretted not giving into that thought...and always did regret when I did.
I also found it helpful to re-think my idea of a reward. If drinking was how I rewarded myself, how the hell would I punish myself. Too scary to even think about.
I also found it helpful to re-think my idea of a reward. If drinking was how I rewarded myself, how the hell would I punish myself. Too scary to even think about.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: London
Posts: 56
Day 13
I'm really happy that I've made day 13 but I've got a building justification in me for tomorrow (being Friday). Do you have tips for this at all... the justification leads to reward and then I convince myself I deserve it... after all its Friday right! This is my AV overwhelming me and I've totally forgot the meaning of AVRT to combat this debate in my head
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by Karamazov
I'm really happy that I've made day 13 but I've got a building justification in me for tomorrow (being Friday). Do you have tips for this at all... the justification leads to reward and then I convince myself I deserve it... after all its Friday right! This is my AV overwhelming me and I've totally forgot the meaning of AVRT to combat this debate in my head
But the AV is actually you. You actually have two sides. One side wants to drink, more specifically, it wants to feed your addiction, and it just happens that alcohol is the way you do that. The other side of you is your ability to think logically, if indeed you have such a side, and if it is there, it knows better. Do you realize it's there?
I guess the theory of RR is to separate your AV from yourself. In other words separate yourself from yourself, which makes it easier to observe yourself the way you can critically observe others. I can't do that, but it doesn't matter. My AV is me, just the dumb side of me, so I have to train myself to apply logic rather than my AV bull$hit. Most drunks haven't learned how to do this, but it can be learned.
There are two other internal sides to you. One side wants to quit drinking, and the other side wants to drink. Those two things are logically incompatible. You have to choose one or the other, because you can't have both, not ever, not because it's Friday, or because you got a promotion at work (or alternatively, got fired), or because it's only a one time thing. You have to choose, because you are going to either drink or not drink (there is no third option). And you will choose one or the other. That choice is not something outside of yourself that happens by the grace of God, and since you are going to do one or the other, you have no alternative, but to choose. I would rather choose not to drink tonight or tomorrow, rather than whine about it the day after. But it's your decision. It's always your decision.
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Hi Karamazov 
just because you have the AV (addictive voice) talking to you doesn’t mean you have to give into it.
Drinking is not a reward for people like us and it’s good to keep remembering it’s not - play the tape through to the end as they say and remember where that first drink has taken you in the past.
There’s always people here to help, too, Friday night or not
You can do this!
D
just because you have the AV (addictive voice) talking to you doesn’t mean you have to give into it.
Drinking is not a reward for people like us and it’s good to keep remembering it’s not - play the tape through to the end as they say and remember where that first drink has taken you in the past.
There’s always people here to help, too, Friday night or not
You can do this!
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: London
Posts: 56
This really helps, guys. It gets to this part of the week and the AV is so strong! I got to remember that its not 'I deserve it' at all, the AV is saying that and always will. The real me chooses not to drink, Driguy and I've played the tape forward to that guy walking to the shop 3 or 4 times a night, D! Funny how that's the part your AV makes you forget!!
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Friday night can be misery or it can be a delight. I've said this before, but early in sobriety, I loved the idea of being sober on a Friday night while the drunks were filling the pubs and expounding half drunken philosophies to each other. The key for me was finding something else to do. I think being with sober people if you can find them is an excellent choice. SR might be enough, or you could decide to build a model railroad. But sitting in a chair thinking about what you might be missing out on would not be good.
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Friday night nearly here again - and it really pays to have a plan - and no negotiation.
I will be watching a film from Netflix with lime and soda and popcorn maybe some dark chocolate - I will not be drinking.
3 decades of drinking is enough.....
You are doing really well - stay strong and remember you are the boss not your AV!
I will be watching a film from Netflix with lime and soda and popcorn maybe some dark chocolate - I will not be drinking.
3 decades of drinking is enough.....
You are doing really well - stay strong and remember you are the boss not your AV!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: London
Posts: 56
AV is very loud but I'm starting to remember a lot of AVRT now in dribs and drabs... (deep breath)! Focus on 2 weeks tomorrow and I'm hoping with each milestone, builds more foundation and so on. Will reward myself with some Chinese food for Friday and look to bring some exercise into the mix next week. I've got some big meetings next week but I'm not as anxious as usual... more excited! Does the sweat-inducing anxiety subside like this??
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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That's kind of you, Dusty.... I was driving back from somewhere and the mind games began. I switched the reward focus to chocolate and a coca cola!!! I thought the craving won't last long... keep thinking of the morning and play the tape forward!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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2 weeks!
Thanks Hawkeye... had a bunch of chocolate! Managed to get up to 14 days which hasn't happened for over 2 years. I've been here before but def feels like new territory right now. Love the mornings and hate the evenings - like there's two of me just like the me/Beast in AVRT! I'm going to do an anxiety test this coming week as have some big meetings which usually floor me with anxiousness. It'll be an interesting experiment 
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