Dee74

I'm glad you came right back, Scott.
I've been there - if what you're doing isn't quite enough to keep you sober, ,maybe its time to think about what else you can do?

D

Scott2295

Thanks Dee. I’m not sure what to do next except keep working on it. My wife has been having some mental health issues and is now on a new med that seems to be helping. I had a hard time dealing with it. I’m thinking maybe I should see a counselor. The good thing is apart from that wine I drank I dumped the vodka and cleaned up the bottles. We’ll be heading to visit my daughter over thanksgiving and I never drink in front of the family anymore and there is no way to sneak off. That will give a chance to get a bunch of sober days under my belt again. I have read a lot of quit literature and know exactly what is happening to my body when I drink. I’ll keep at it.

Dee74

Counselling is probably not a bad idea. Trying to deal with life. as well as your spouses mental health. and your addiction is a pretty big fight. Calling in reinforcements can help

D

freedomfries

Good morning. Day 13. 1am. Went to sleep much too early yesterday. Suppose I'm a bit tired of life and want the days to be over as quickly as possible. :/ Maybe it's just early sobriety, PAWS or depression. I think the acamprosate causes depression. But it might be helping a little with cravings, I dunno.

Backtogood

Things are so hard right now. I'm trying to keep things simple, make it through work today and have a simple night with my son...type thing. But the reality is, I will probably have to spend 90 days in jail and lose my license for 10 years. My husband is trying to be supportive, but that's alot to ask. Even though I would have his back and always have. My son and I did have great night last night and we snuggled throughout the night. We, even tho my hubby thought it was cute, he didn't enjoy sleeping on the couch. Both of emotions are all over and it's easy to spiral. Things are rough. I would day I have not had a drink, but I had 2 minis yesterday and 2 today. Mainly to get through work, my anxiety and detox is challenging, plus the stress of all this. Not an excuse, but my reality.

Dee74

I think your AV is going to make a meal of this BtG...like 'have a drink how much worse can it get'?

The reality is it can get a lot worse, even from here....

I understand you're scared and anxious - thats understandable - but at some point we have to stop believing that a drink will help us cope or make it better.

We have to leave it behind - It may as well be now, yeah?. It will look good in court too to be in recovery...

D

anxiousrock

doing better. Had a horrible day at work. Could have drank but instead went for a long walk in the park, where it was mostly clear of ice.
bed early today, despite it being Saturday. Need a Break

Dee74

Breaks are good :yup

D

RAL

Day 1. Again. In same position as I was last Sunday. Strung a few days together then felt better then drank at the weekend.

Why do I keep doing this. I know how bad it is.i feel mentally and physically ill. Not hungover tho I did have wine last night but have really bad lower back pains.

I need to do something different. I am going to do smart meetings again. They worked for me before. Fundamentally though I need to want to be sober more than I want to drink and post on here before taking a drink.

RAL

So sorry you are in a difficult place btg. I echo what suz said xx

Wastinglife

Day 10. My only issue is insomnia. My mind never sleeps no matter how tired I am. I woke up at 4:30am after only 2 hours sleep and I ate as much food as I could as a full stomach tends to make me sleepy. Blood leaves the brain to aide in digestion. Something like that. I'll gain a few pounds if it helps me sleep.

1stepup

Feel such a failure, keep picking up after totally being convinced every morning that 'today's the day I get back on the wagon', my thinking by afternoon changes, if I go out to get food/ cigarettes in I end up buying a 4pack just to get me through the evening. Yesterday was typical, had a lot of uni work to catch up on, went to shop bought 4cans and a couple of small gin and tonic cans- to give me confidence to start the work (how crazy is that?!), of course after I'd drank that I needed more and got another 4 pack... went to bed early without doing the work I'd planned... its midday now and again I'm saying no more, this cant go on. I have 2 essays to write by tomorrow and the pressure is on but know any alcohol and neither will get done. I'm just posting to commit to staying off it an hour at a time and hope that I can put my head on the pillow tonight sober.

Scott2295

It sounds like a lot of us are still struggling. Thankfully people are coming back to post. I am determined to beat this monster. Day 1 but didn’t drink much yesterday compared to the last couple weeks. Actually slept pretty good considering.

venuscat

Love ~ maybe we can PM this if you prefer.... s
Is a lawyer giving you these numbers?

And the minis...are you driving after you drink honey?

Your reality is maybe a bit scary right now....just know we are all here for you. s xx ❤️

venuscat

Sending love to all of you.

So.....dearest RAL and anyone struggling with this: what if you don't want to be sober more than you want to drink? But you know that continuing to drink is destroying your health and your relationships and your work....yes, your whole life. It is destroying your hope and your confidence. It is stealing your dreams.

And even though you know this, you don't want to stop.
This is what serious addiction is....when we put the need for our poison ahead of all else.
In essence, we become willing to die for it.

I know that is a bit heavy.
But I know at least for me it was the truth.

I did NOT want to stop drinking, but I did not want to die.
So I stopped. And once I truly believed I wasn't going to die, I found hope again.
And then I started making plans and living my life again.
It wasn't easy, but it was SO worth it.

It isn't going to magically happen that today will be the day you stop dear 1stepup: you need to facilitate the quit. Make sure you have cigarettes and food so that you are not heading to the shop where the booze is calling you....make a plan and let us help you make it work.

And Scott....sounds to me like today is your Day 1. Let's do this!

Free2bme888

Been reading many of your struggles and accomplishments.

Therapy, distraction, walks, reading here FIRST, and riding the urges all work.

For some, we will die first before we are done.

I hope those of you struggling choose life….. I believe in all of you.

Backtogood

I am looking for a new job closer to my house, so once they take my license I can walk or bike. Also, I just have a feeling I'm going to get fired all the time ever since my showing up in August drunk. I feel like everyone is talking about my drinking and I want a fresh slate. 😩 So, I'm going to apply at restaurants around my house and look for subverting I can do from home as well. I bought 2 minis after with today but did not drink them. Just going to throw them out. I'm going to hit an AA Meeting now, it's online and idk about my sponsor I picked, she never seems to respond which I messenger her.

venuscat

Go BTG..... ❤️

Ad you know I am here to talk anytime you want. xxxx

Scott2295

BTG - that sounds like a good plan. I’m sorry for all you are going through. I’ve not been through anything like that so I can’t imagine how hard all this must be for you. We are all here to support you.

Citrus

Hi all. Going to bed on a new day 1. I've got a bit of a cold and am feeling pretty cruddy. I am hoping tomorrow looks better. ❤

Loved your post Suze, I have it saved to read over and over.

Congrats to all of you with your day counts really adding up! And I'm thinking of each of you that are struggling.