UNITE4STRENGTH

Thanks, yes...I'm so glad to have got the first 3 days done with!!! Congratulations on day 9!!

UNITE4STRENGTH

Difficult few hours.....boredom, trying not to feel bad at not having done much today. Having coffee and listening to music to take the edge off my lack of stimulation/interest in anything. Tomorrow I will get over to the shop and do some cooking.
LeadHatter - it's nice to know you are in UK too. Have you been trying to get sober long? How many years have you been drinking?

LeadHatter

This is my first attempt in ten years UFS. I’m finding it very very difficult. Aside from 8.5 months ten years ago (on this very site I was back then) and a couple of weeks here and there I’ve been binging since I was 16 or so. I’m 42 now.

More recently I’ve been drinking atleast six days out of seven between 2 and 5 pints in the evening weekdays and weekends up to 10. Ive rarely drunk in the mornings but believe me I’ve been tempted.

To drink in the quantities I have and for the time I have is problematic and dangerous not to mention near sighted.

when did you begin drinking UFS? Have you been trying to quit for a long time?

I think I’m going to treat myself with a McDonalds. I love Big Macs, could easily eat two of them

All the best UFS/All

UNITE4STRENGTH

I'm 41 now and have been trying to quit permanently for 19 years now. I started when I was 15/16. I've had numerous sober periods lasting weeks to my latest of 14 months, and everywhere in between. I think 41 and 42 really is the time to make it stick! ...as they say. I wish you all the best 🙂 enjoy your Big Macs. I ate so badly yesterday 😅 it's all about just not drinking at the moment though!!

LeadHatter

Just in case I inadvertently broke a rule by mistake with my last post on this thread I want to make it clear I’m not promoting the consumption of any quantity of alcohol at all. I was just posting what I used to drink.

If I broke a rule accidentally I apologise. LH

SIB

Stay busy and focus on each day, once you get out 60+ days it becomes easier and easier until you won't even think of it as its no longer part of your daily life as it use to be. Make staying sober 90 days come hell or high water your goal, by then its a billion times easier than it is right now.

UNITE4STRENGTH

Thank you SIB that's helpful.

LeadHatter

Morning U4S how are you getting on this morning?

Yesterday I was so close to picking up. I was even imagining what I would say about the relapse to friends and family and folk here.

Talking with you last night helped me. Also those two mig macs helped and a bunch of other stuff all together.

As I walked to get my Big Macs I remembered the HALT (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired) system. If you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired your more at risk of relapse. I was hungry and tired (amongst the other feelings).

So yep after scoffing my Big Macs I decided I would stay sober for the remainder of the day and try to get a good sleep. My sleep last night hasn’t been excellent, I went to sleep early (10pm maybe) but I’ve woken early and can’t get back to sleep.

Maybe I’ll get up idk.

UNITE4STRENGTH

Morning. Thanks for your post. I am ok...having pizza for breakfast and will think about doing stuff after that! HALT is helpful, helps us quickly assess how at risk we might be to picking up.

LeadHatter

Your 14 months was a massive achievement. Well done.

UNITE4STRENGTH

My longest streak yet, this time hopefully for life because I know my relationship to alcohol won't ever change and I don't want to be back here again! I'm rolling toward day 5. I'm feeling unsettled and tense. Still not ready to go out I think. I just forced myself to wash the dishes because I had used every single item!

LeadHatter

Sorry to hear your unsettled and tense mate. Are these normal feelings you experience at this stage of sobriety? When you were drinking did you drink mornings too? Not my business really but would explain your morning feelings.

UNITE4STRENGTH

Yes, these feelings tend to dissipate after 7 days..

LeadHatter

I hope you make another day UFS

UNITE4STRENGTH

thanks, and you! ..and yes, I drink in the morning particularly after a big binge when I decide I can't face committing to a day 1. Or I'll have minimal in the morning then commit to going sober, like I did this time. A few years back when my alcoholism was at it's worst I was drinking most mornings at Wetherspoons then would go on to other pubs and drink to black out....wake and repeat.

UNITE4STRENGTH

Now into day 5 🙂 still not been out, not ready. All I can do is sit tight, eat well, take vitamins and count my blessings. I am definitely venturing out tomorrow morning though as I need bread and a few other bits! I am glad that I have done a couple of things today, now i'm just relaxing. It's a grey day outside and quite breezy.

UNITE4STRENGTH

7.5 hours into day 5. Posting to my log helps me feel more accomplished and less disconnected from what is really happening. The people closest to me don't know that I have relapsed so posting on here is really comforting for me. I look forward to actually leaving the flat tomorrow 🙂 and moving onto day 6.

LeadHatter

Onwards and upwards mate.

UNITE4STRENGTH

Another new day....waking up on the sobriety path, it really cannot be beaten. Although I had a fair few false starts over September I feel I've cracked it this time. On the 26th I woke up remembering the night (and day) before.....buying everyone at the pub tequila like I could afford it! I had one person declaring their love for me in a really obscene way.....the whole session was just ridiculous, I was hiding away at a pub I'd never been to in an area of London that I rarely go to. I can no longer be seen drinking in my area you see! Then of course blacking out in the taxi. I couldn't do anything without the hair of the dog the next morning so I just got on and did that, then I picked a moment (11:56) took a final swig and poured the rest down the sink with a silent scream. I'm approaching 7 days sober and I'm pleased. As I said I've left myself with no spare money so here's to it, sober October all the way!!!!

UNITE4STRENGTH

So I left the flat after a solid 5 days. I was so on edge around people....if anyone got in my way I nearly had a total meltdown and felt like nutting them. Then it started raining heavily and didn't stop. The way to describe it best is it feels like everything is threatening. I walked into Tesco to get some other bits and saw the bottles of spirits, I literally started dreaming about getting completely wasted. All the bingeing I did between 21 Aug and 26 September has really taken it's toll. After this morning's 'tester' experience of finally leaving my flat I realise it's going to take time to recover....probably more than 30 days. I have anger and irritability so strong within me......this is what I was like 20 years ago! I used to be more of an intermittent binge drinker back then. I haven't experienced this state of being for years. I've had a total change of character because of this relapse. That's what drink does. It's a horrible way to be and I don't want any part of this. Thank goodness I'm back indoors.