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Old 11-27-2021, 06:08 AM
  # 381 (permalink)  
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I hope you stay here on SR and keep us posted Jupiter. Drinking, sober, snake bit, screwed, blued or tattooed - there is room on SR for everyone. It sounds like you are enduring some very profound things. I humbly submit to you that you could be a source of strength for your people, including your dear niece. But that is nearly impossible drinking.

Regardless, do not stop participating on SR. We want you here with us.

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Old 11-27-2021, 12:20 PM
  # 382 (permalink)  
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I'm really touched by people caring.
My daughter has said I can meet the new baby, but that's it. I can't stay to help out.
I'm going to try getting and staying sober one more time.
Yes, I could help other people but I'm too selfishly involved in drinking.
It needs to stop.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow.
I dread what is coming ☹️
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Old 11-27-2021, 01:50 PM
  # 383 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jupiter11 View Post
I'm really touched by people caring.
My daughter has said I can meet the new baby, but that's it. I can't stay to help out.
I'm going to try getting and staying sober one more time.
Yes, I could help other people but I'm too selfishly involved in drinking.
It needs to stop.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow.
I dread what is coming
☹️
When I stopped my attitude was anything was better than what was coming if I continued to drink. I had paid too high a price and endured too much to continue to have alcohol in my life already. Whatever it took I was getting the heck out of there. It's hard Jupiter, it's really hard when your brain is screaming and you to drink and your nervous system has turned on you. It's hard when you feel like that abuse is all you deserve. That heals and you come out on the other side whole. It's also really hard to be in active addiction. I think being an addict is much harder and it never ends.
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Old 11-27-2021, 05:44 PM
  # 384 (permalink)  
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Jupiter, I’m glad for you.

Consider turning that “try” into fierce determination. You absolutely can do this, but there’s no namby pamby about it. This staying sober takes a heaping dose of stubborn for a good many months, but I looked that word stubborn up in the dictionary and found your mug snarling at me. So I dare say you’re the woman for the job.

I’m in your corner, girl!

O
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Old 11-28-2021, 12:28 AM
  # 385 (permalink)  
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Thank you again. I WILL do it this time. Obviously I feel ill today so can't write much, but I am taking note of the posts x
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Old 11-28-2021, 03:26 AM
  # 386 (permalink)  
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So you have already done the most important thing - you HAVE stopped. Congratulations on a very wise decision. It will better your life immeasurably, which will in turn produce the capacity for you to better those of others. You are right that you haven't been able to do that because you've been selfishly drinking. Now its time to turn your attention to selfishly focus on your own recovery.

Let us know how you get along, Jupiter. And if it even starts to look like things are going south, please be ready to call the ambulance?
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Old 11-28-2021, 04:11 AM
  # 387 (permalink)  
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This is the VERY last time you have to feel like this Jupiter. Hang in there and do what you must to stay sober.
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Old 11-28-2021, 05:41 AM
  # 388 (permalink)  
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We will never give up on you so don't give up on yourself.

There is no trying to quit. There is only quitting.
We can handle anything life throws at is. We just need to remember we don't drink anymore.
No Matter What
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Old 11-28-2021, 07:36 AM
  # 389 (permalink)  
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Thank you, your messages mean a lot. So I'm back where I started in the first place. Daughter said she doesn't want my help when baby is born. She said I can meet him, that's it. She brought up all the stuff I said after the wedding again. I will do it this time.
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Old 11-28-2021, 09:39 AM
  # 390 (permalink)  
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Jupiter, you won’t like hearing this, but I really truly wholeheartedly believe you need to stop contacting your daughter now. I know you probably feel like death warmed over today, so I’ll hold off on the lecture (for now ), but seriously give it a rest already.

How are you getting along?
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Old 11-28-2021, 09:42 AM
  # 391 (permalink)  
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p.s. watch your verb tense around the beast - it’s not you “will” in the future. you’re done drinking now.
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Old 11-28-2021, 11:23 AM
  # 392 (permalink)  
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Towards the end of my drinking years, I had to quit having conversations with people about what I wanted, what I was capable of, what I could be trusted with. As hard as that was, I had to stop running my mouth because the people in my life had heard enough of my bs. I had to SHOW people that I was trustworthy with my actions. Those "actions" included giving everyone in my life a great deal of space and letting them come back to me at their own pace. Staying quiet when I could have spoken. Not being needy when I felt needy. Being steady 15 times in a row during phone conversations. Following through every time when I made a commitment. After they gained some level of trust that being around me wasn't a straight-up high-risk activity, they started coming around again.
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Old 11-29-2021, 05:25 AM
  # 393 (permalink)  
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How's it going, Jupiter?
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Old 11-29-2021, 07:38 AM
  # 394 (permalink)  
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We'll I'm not drinking. Some wierd vivid nightmares going on last night
I'm really sick of this. That was a 6 day binge. Day and night. I was drinking nearly a bottle of gin a day. So brought myself down a little with some cider which I finished 4am Saturday morning. Gross!!
House is a pigsty. Managed to eat a sausage today.
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Old 11-29-2021, 07:41 AM
  # 395 (permalink)  
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Surrendered 19 yes, just going to do that. Truthfully, looking back I always thought I was being honest with myself about my drinking. But I wasn't, no the wonder people are sick of me and my empty promises.
I thought I had liver failure as my legs were yellow 😣 but then I remembered I spilt a tumeric concoction on myself that I was trying to cook
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Old 11-29-2021, 07:43 AM
  # 396 (permalink)  
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Have you thought about looking into rehabilitation?
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Old 11-29-2021, 07:48 AM
  # 397 (permalink)  
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I can't Mizz there are really long waiting lists for the few NHS ones (nearly a year) And there is absolutely no way I can go private. That's thousands. I haven't even got £1. 40 for a loaf, hence the sausage and not a saugage sandwich!
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Old 11-29-2021, 05:08 PM
  # 398 (permalink)  
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Jupiter! When the going gets tough, the tough get going. I used that a few times early on, feel free to do so yourself. You have come through so much and made progress, don't stop now. Keep going, what help can you be to your family when you are under the influence? Your mom needs you, your daughter needs you (ok, so she's angry, she will come around when you make some changes) your niece needs you. Stop drinking and start living your best life. Don't give up, don't stop stopping, ever. No more feeling sorry, just pick up your head and keep going. You can do this. Forward is the only acceptable direction, no matter how hard it is. We are here, ask for help and do not give up.
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Old 11-30-2021, 01:11 PM
  # 399 (permalink)  
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I'm still here. I am just having pretty long drawn out withdrawals. Exhausted in everyway and still a bit shaky.
I have stopped separating the "drunken me" from "sober me" It's ALL me and it's not very pleasant to face, my behaviour over the years, pretty ugly infact.


I did have some strong, strong cravings today, but I think that shows how badly this has escalated. Usually I have no problems staying off the drink after a bad binge. But now I'm craving even though I still feel I'll??

I have a plan.
The last few days I have just been listening to zoom meetings to hear a human voice as it calmed me down.
And reading near death accounts of the afterlife as I have felt on the brink of it 😐

As my mother has said, I've never been a quitter, but it's time to quit thinking I can keep on drinking

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Old 11-30-2021, 01:39 PM
  # 400 (permalink)  
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Oh good, I'm glad you're still with us. Are you eating? Remember to eat. And sleep. And get outside for some fresh air, even just a bit of it.

Sure, it just keeps getting worse and worse. I reached a point where I had cravings because I was ill. Which makes no sense whatsoever, right? That's the little beastie right there.

What is your plan, Jupiter?
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