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lonely and addicted

Old 09-10-2021, 02:04 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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This might not be a helpful reply, but it’s a self perpetuating situation. I gave up alcohol a couple of years back and things somehow fell into place. I’m not Mr Charisma by any means, but my confidence grew, and I wad able to try new things and meet new people. The only trick I used to quit was to replace the time I spent drinking with another activity.

You’ve accepted you have these addiction problems, which is a good start as many don’t even make that first step. Get all the help you can, and I promise if you can quit all these addictions, life will be way better, and you’ll have a lot to offer.
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:11 AM
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Hodd makes a good point. It's a lot easier to get out of your own way once you're clean and sober. I can't claim all my problems went away and life was perfect. That's the point, life is never perfect. It's easier to deal with those problems effectively.

I hope you'll stick around here @lonelyfella. It's kind of a slow night tonite, there's usually more folks online! You will have to do the work on your own but it's amazing to have this forum as a resource! It has helped me so much, especially in those first few months where I was always pissed off and feeling sorry for myself.
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Hodd View Post
This might not be a helpful reply, but itís a self perpetuating situation. I gave up alcohol a couple of years back and things somehow fell into place. Iím not Mr Charisma by any means, but my confidence grew, and I wad able to try new things and meet new people. The only trick I used to quit was to replace the time I spent drinking with another activity.

Youíve accepted you have these addiction problems, which is a good start as many donít even make that first step. Get all the help you can, and I promise if you can quit all these addictions, life will be way better, and youíll have a lot to offer.
thank you.. and honestly, this is not me....i can only put it down to a mental breakdown that made me turn to drugs for release... then it just wont let go...
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted by MythOfSisyphus View Post
Hodd makes a good point. It's a lot easier to get out of your own way once you're clean and sober. I can't claim all my problems went away and life was perfect. That's the point, life is never perfect. It's easier to deal with those problems effectively.

I hope you'll stick around here @lonelyfella. It's kind of a slow night tonite, there's usually more folks online! You will have to do the work on your own but it's amazing to have this forum as a resource! It has helped me so much, especially in those first few months where I was always pissed off and feeling sorry for myself.
agreed...well it has helped already...(you lot!) i just have to find a way to fill my time and stay strong.......but as i said being totally alone..... i dont have much to do....but i know if i get this right... i will be happier, less poor... and maybe even "normal" again....
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:22 AM
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Being lonely is kind of a feedback loop. It's weird, but I'll get in a phase where I don't feel very social so I'll isolate, which in turn makes me even less social! Do you have any hobbies? It might sound silly since I'm in my early 50s but I am a big table top RPG fan. Started playing D&D back in the late 70s. It's a good way to socialize but really it could be board games, a sport, a dance class, whatever. Do you have a church? I'm not religious but it's a way to meet people. AA has never been my thing but if you're having trouble feeling isolated maybe take in a meeting?
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:26 AM
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I never got into drugs (had enough issues with alcohol), but alcohol and presumably drugs do play havoc with your mental health. Thankfully it’s perfectly normal now to be concerned or ask for help on mental health, and anyone should feel free to reach out for help.

But I’ll say again, you mightn’t realise it, but you have made the first step. I know a load of people whose life revolves around alcohol and who’d become a gibbering wreck if beer was absent for a night! These people think they’re OK, but they’re addicted big time. You’re already one step ahead.

Have you looked for any addiction help from your doctor or another agency?
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:28 AM
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I can't say as I know much about the services available in the UK but we do have some members over there. Hopefully someone will happen along soon.
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:30 AM
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Originally Posted by MythOfSisyphus View Post
Being lonely is kind of a feedback loop. It's weird, but I'll get in a phase where I don't feel very social so I'll isolate, which in turn makes me even less social! Do you have any hobbies? It might sound silly since I'm in my early 50s but I am a big table top RPG fan. Started playing D&D back in the late 70s. It's a good way to socialize but really it could be board games, a sport, a dance class, whatever. Do you have a church? I'm not religious but it's a way to meet people. AA has never been my thing but if you're having trouble feeling isolated maybe take in a meeting?
i used to do pirate radio, djing in clubs etc.... i also like to make electronic music, i atually got myself a new toy the other day....to make a change from tv!....... I am not religious either.... and my experiences at CA/AA have been unfavourable in the past......sometimes i found it like a trigger...... but i was not such an awkward fussy git....there all good sugesstions!!!!!
oh and i am 47 years young.........hahahha
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:32 AM
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When you first quit drinking clubs might be kind of dangerous. But there's bound to be an activity that you enjoy. You might not enjoy it much at first- everything sucks when you first quit! You have to fake it til you make it.
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Hodd View Post
I never got into drugs (had enough issues with alcohol), but alcohol and presumably drugs do play havoc with your mental health. Thankfully itís perfectly normal now to be concerned or ask for help on mental health, and anyone should feel free to reach out for help.

But Iíll say again, you mightnít realise it, but you have made the first step. I know a load of people whose life revolves around alcohol and whoíd become a gibbering wreck if beer was absent for a night! These people think theyíre OK, but theyíre addicted big time. Youíre already one step ahead.

Have you looked for any addiction help from your doctor or another agency?
yes but its not very forthcoming... doctors dont want to medicate me until im off the drugs...but if i was off the drugs i may not need medicating?? and the other stuff like centers et want nothing to do with anyone due to covid! its been a big problem for me this past year...
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:34 AM
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Originally Posted by MythOfSisyphus View Post
When you first quit drinking clubs might be kind of dangerous. But there's bound to be an activity that you enjoy. You might not enjoy it much at first- everything sucks when you first quit! You have to fake it til you make it.
i hear ya loud n clear.......
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:35 AM
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A music person too! Come on, there are so many opportunities to get out there for musically-minded people! Bear in mind I’m as musical as a lamppost.

47? I turned things around at 49. Go for it.
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:35 AM
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Yeah, Covid has made everything 100X worse. It's a challenge for sure but not insurmountable.
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:37 AM
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agreed...its all done on the telephone now....i have been waiting over a month for a phone call assessment!
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Hodd View Post
A music person too! Come on, there are so many opportunities to get out there for musically-minded people! Bear in mind Iím as musical as a lamppost.

47? I turned things around at 49. Go for it.
bash a lamppost with a stick and you will get a drumbeat going hahahah....
and thank you very much!
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:51 AM
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One of the great things about SR is that everyone here has faced the same kinds of struggles. It's good to know that whatever you're dealing with you're not the only one. This place is kind of a voice in the wilderness, a candle in the window reminding you there's a way home to where you need to go.
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Old 09-10-2021, 02:57 AM
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Originally Posted by MythOfSisyphus View Post
One of the great things about SR is that everyone here has faced the same kinds of struggles. It's good to know that whatever you're dealing with you're not the only one. This place is kind of a voice in the wilderness, a candle in the window reminding you there's a way home to where you need to go.
its done me the world of good so far today.....kept me occupied.....i cant lie....as stuff is now leaving my system i am feeling anxious...twitchy....
i know its just mind over matter....if i can get through this first day....i am sure it will get easier..
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Old 09-10-2021, 03:01 AM
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Again, much of the time it's a bit more active! It's about 3:00 am for me here in the USA but I'm a night owl. I'm on work comp so I'm just putzing around on the computer tonite! Being lonely can suck- it's like being the only man on the moon sometimes. But it will get better, just hang in there.
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Old 09-10-2021, 03:15 AM
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yeah... i never dreamed i would ever be lonely....i have had quite a few life lessons lately, its amazing how fragile your (our) exsistance is....
it happened so fast (in my messed up head) then everything was well gone.....friends, family, partner, job, house, cars and the list goes on.........
i know its going to cause me nothing but problems....but as soon as i get money...boom.... ding ding....round 756354352 hahahah
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Old 09-10-2021, 03:20 AM
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It might seem sudden but it's probably a hole you spent years digging but just now realized you're in! It might not be quick getting out but you can do it. One foot in front of the other.
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