lonely and addicted
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 91
lonely and addicted
well...
i have been struggling with addiction for a few years now.......{cocaine,crystal meth and alcohol)
it has cost me my entire life......girlfriend of 20 years, my company, and to an extent...my family.
i now find myself living on my own, back in the area i was born in a shared house and living on universal credit.
I am all alone....sometimes i dont see another human for weeks at a time... I have managed to kick using crystal meth....
but i cant quit drinking and cocaine use....although i really want to but because i am so alone...drinking helps pass the time and the cocaine makes me feel better temporarily...........
id love to meet a girl.....hang out... and do normal stuff with.......i just feel like i dont know anyone .... im middle aged.....
and dont really know how to go about it tbh.... i just know
i need a reason to go out of this room so i can grow back to my normal self.....
i have been struggling with addiction for a few years now.......{cocaine,crystal meth and alcohol)
it has cost me my entire life......girlfriend of 20 years, my company, and to an extent...my family.
i now find myself living on my own, back in the area i was born in a shared house and living on universal credit.
I am all alone....sometimes i dont see another human for weeks at a time... I have managed to kick using crystal meth....
but i cant quit drinking and cocaine use....although i really want to but because i am so alone...drinking helps pass the time and the cocaine makes me feel better temporarily...........
id love to meet a girl.....hang out... and do normal stuff with.......i just feel like i dont know anyone .... im middle aged.....
and dont really know how to go about it tbh.... i just know
i need a reason to go out of this room so i can grow back to my normal self.....
well...
i have been struggling with addiction for a few years now.......{cocaine,crystal meth and alcohol)
it has cost me my entire life......girlfriend of 20 years, my company, and to an extent...my family.
i now find myself living on my own, back in the area i was born in a shared house and living on universal credit.
I am all alone....sometimes i dont see another human for weeks at a time... I have managed to kick using crystal meth....
but i cant quit drinking and cocaine use....although i really want to but because i am so alone...drinking helps pass the time and the cocaine makes me feel better temporarily...........
id love to meet a girl.....hang out... and do normal stuff with.......i just feel like i dont know anyone .... im middle aged.....
and dont really know how to go about it tbh.... i just know
i need a reason to go out of this room so i can grow back to my normal self.....
i have been struggling with addiction for a few years now.......{cocaine,crystal meth and alcohol)
it has cost me my entire life......girlfriend of 20 years, my company, and to an extent...my family.
i now find myself living on my own, back in the area i was born in a shared house and living on universal credit.
I am all alone....sometimes i dont see another human for weeks at a time... I have managed to kick using crystal meth....
but i cant quit drinking and cocaine use....although i really want to but because i am so alone...drinking helps pass the time and the cocaine makes me feel better temporarily...........
id love to meet a girl.....hang out... and do normal stuff with.......i just feel like i dont know anyone .... im middle aged.....
and dont really know how to go about it tbh.... i just know
i need a reason to go out of this room so i can grow back to my normal self.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 91
hi there. I empathise and I appreciate your sharing and your honesty. Your reason is YOU. You are definitely worth the fight to be free from addiction (or if never free, then at least free from active addictions)....I'm middle aged too and on my own so you are definitely not alone in this. I wish you every success with the cocaine and the drink. Cross addiction is an issue for me too.
the situation i find myself in now just seems to have no way out, i dont have any friends anymore (users of whatevers) no partner....an no family to speak of.....................so not a lot really!
thankyou for repling anyway.....its nice to talk to someone...
may i ask how your coping with it all?
the situation i find myself in now just seems to have no way out, i dont have any friends anymore (users of whatevers) no partner....an no family to speak of.....................so not a lot really!
thankyou for repling anyway.....its nice to talk to someone...
the situation i find myself in now just seems to have no way out, i dont have any friends anymore (users of whatevers) no partner....an no family to speak of.....................so not a lot really!
thankyou for repling anyway.....its nice to talk to someone...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 91
that's ok. I'm coping in the sense that I'm still fighting for long term sobriety after 26 years....I got 440 days sober but then relapsed again in August. I have been to rehab, I learned a lot there. My job is on the line.....I'm in private rented accommodation so the pressure is on. Career is going no where. I must achieve long term sobriety then things could change. I joined this forum because I need as much connection as possible to succeed. So yeah, my mental health isn't good at the moment. I don't really have any meaningful contact with family. The odds are against me but I still have my ultimate dream of becoming a well-adjusted adult with a happy life!
im still in the hiding stage.....hahahaha
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,600
Welcome to SR. Maybe join the September class too where you will meet lots of people at the same stage as you
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html
Welcome to SR @lonelyfella! I'm glad you found us here. Lots of us have been where you're at now and found the way out. You'll find lots of support and understanding here.
id love to meet a girl.....hang out... and do normal stuff with.......i just feel like i dont know anyone .... im middle aged.....
and dont really know how to go about it tbh.... i just know
i need a reason to go out of this room so i can grow back to my normal self.....
and dont really know how to go about it tbh.... i just know
i need a reason to go out of this room so i can grow back to my normal self.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 91
Booze and drugs feels like a refuge...at first. It's both journey and destination, a companion for boring times and a salve for your troubles. But over time it becomes a prison, not a refuge. It drains all the joy out of life and leaves you with nothing. It makes you more alone. But it doesn't have to be that way, @lonelyfella. It starts with the first step.
it has been getting me through the days (time wise) as all i have for company is my tv at the mo.
I can kind of understand that. TV gets a bit old when it's your only companion. I've been on work comp (in the US a worker with a workplace injury gets paid while they're unable to work) for a little over six months. My job was kind of my social life as well (chef) so things are a bit monotonous right now. Work kind of kept me connected to the world, so to speak. It's a bit hard to fill the days sometimes! In the past it would have been worse, I'd be drunk by midnite, then by noon the next day I'd swear I wouldn't do it to myself again, knowing full well I'd be drunk again that night.
What helped you get off the meth? AVRT and this forum helped me get sober, been almost nine years now.
It might sounds stupid, but sometimes the thing that gets you out of the house is just walking out of the house! Go for a walk, clear your head, see something besides the same four walls.
What helped you get off the meth? AVRT and this forum helped me get sober, been almost nine years now.
It might sounds stupid, but sometimes the thing that gets you out of the house is just walking out of the house! Go for a walk, clear your head, see something besides the same four walls.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 91
I can kind of understand that. TV gets a bit old when it's your only companion. I've been on work comp (in the US a worker with a workplace injury gets paid while they're unable to work) for a little over six months. My job was kind of my social life as well (chef) so things are a bit monotonous right now. Work kind of kept me connected to the world, so to speak. It's a bit hard to fill the days sometimes! In the past it would have been worse, I'd be drunk by midnite, then by noon the next day I'd swear I wouldn't do it to myself again, knowing full well I'd be drunk again that night.
What helped you get off the meth? AVRT and this forum helped me get sober, been almost nine years now.
It might sounds stupid, but sometimes the thing that gets you out of the house is just walking out of the house! Go for a walk, clear your head, see something besides the same four walls.
What helped you get off the meth? AVRT and this forum helped me get sober, been almost nine years now.
It might sounds stupid, but sometimes the thing that gets you out of the house is just walking out of the house! Go for a walk, clear your head, see something besides the same four walls.
That's tough. We can't do anything to change the past but the future is unwritten. The days ahead can be better than the ones behind. It's hard to make peace with the past, I get that. But if you're still on the green side of the grass it's not too late to have a better future. Maybe time to make a change? It doesn't sound like you have anything to lose by trying.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,746
Well done on giving up meth. I've experimented with it though never got addicted. The rush is very intense. It must have been hard to quit. You can quit coke and alcohol too like you did meth. And start to rebuild your life.
You've take a great step to realize something has to change. Honestly I drank like a fish for 25 years and at least the last 20 made me miserable. Deep down I figured "someday" I'd quit or maybe I'd learn to moderate and control my drinking. Eventually I reached a point so low where I just surrendered to it. I had no idea if life would be worth living sober but it definitely wasn't worth living drunk. So I took a leap of faith that there would be something worth living for in sobriety. It was shocking just how much better it was, and I soon realized I'd been a fool for most of my life.
It's not always easy but once you plant that seed...
It's not always easy but once you plant that seed...
Yeah, I feel that! Each time I thought things couldn't get worse I found a way to make them worse! It didn't get better til I stopped digging the hole deeper.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,746
Unfortunately there is no lowest. At each rock bottom we can always break out the power drill. I've done it several times.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 91
meth was never my thing....i did it because it was available at the time.......coaine and alcohol however i loved....now i hate what it has made me do...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)