Jillian2563

I realize that my last post was very melancholy and I am working through those issues. I also realized that I am very blessed and grateful to be alive. I’m 5 days sober today, will wake up tomorrow on day 6. I will not go back to the horrible panic attacks and daily unwell feeling. Thank you all for being here and for the advice. Much love.

Dee74

Glad to read you are feeling more positive Jillian

D

advbike

I'm just glad you're posting so regularly Jillian. It really helps!

Early sobriety is usually a lot of ups and downs, but that's okay - just ride it out.

Also, it helps to express our gratitude regularly, as you have just done. I do it every morning.

Keep up the great work and observations!

DriGuy

"Blessed." That is a word I often use to describe my life now. I'm not sure why. No body actually "blessed" me. I'm just lucky to have found myself.

Hodd

The first week or two is tough to say the least. I really thought my life would be one long miserable crave at first. That’s a hopeless feeling, but it really does fade. Even after two years, I had infrequent and small craves, but for a few months now even I’ve not wanted a drink. I thought people just say that, but certainly for now it’s true 🙂

5 days might seem early days, and it is, but right now your in the hardest phase. Hang in there.

Jillian2563

Ive been trying to quit for 10 years (or realized I had a problem 10 years ago) and have always craved. But luckily this week I haven’t. And I think it’s mainly due to the last panic attack I had - it was so bad that I never want to drink again.

Jillian2563

I’m on day 7! SEVEN!! I haven’t been sober this long in a while. The last time I reached 10-11 days was in July 19 and relapsed. I’m on day 7 and never looking back!!

tomls

We are so glad that you are here!

DriGuy

I'm actually surprised you haven't craved at this point. For most of us the loss of cravings comes later, but I have heard that cravings can just vanish <poof> with the right mindset. Rational Recovery makes this claim with the adoption of its "Big Plan," although I've never been able to accept that totally. I'm more inclined to believe loss of cravings is a combination of factors including intellectual, emotional, and even unconscious, but I'd be at a loss to list those factors.

If you do get blindsided by one of those cravings, post here and see if you can explain it before you give in. Heck, maybe you will never need to do this. Maybe your continual posting is what keeps them at bay. Much of what happens in very early recovery is still a mystery to me. I'm good a managing my long term sobriety, but the idea of going through early recovery again was something that I feared worse that death or public speaking. Now the possibility of subjecting myself to that again is something that is just "off limits."

Jillian2563

To be honest, I am super surprised as well. I chalk it up to the effects I experienced on Saturday, the worst I have EVER felt mentally, and physically. Maybe my brain has finally gotten the point that the alcohol is what has been creating my turmoil all along. Either way, I'll take it.

DriGuy

Yeah, me too!

Jillian2563

It’s 6:30am. I am the only one up, coffee made, dogs let out and I AM A WEEK SOBER. Never thought I’d make it! And I’m going to keep truckin’ along. Happy Saturday friends!

VikingGF

GOOD FOR YOU, Jillian2563!!! It's great how well you are doing and how much the tone of your posts has changed. It really helps you see how alcohol was coloring your world, doesn't it? Keep it up, good stuff is coming!

Jillian2563

I’ve been alcohol free for 8 whole days! 💪🏼
I’m ecstatic!

DriGuy

This is the beginning of a very rewarding and joyful journey. I understand your ecstasy. Don't stop appreciating it. It may turn into a quiet joy, like mine did for me, and which is still a source of great comfort years and years later.

alphaomega

Brava !!! Keep up the great work and never forget how you got here

Jillian2563

Thank you. I will never ever forget. That road was awful.

Jillian2563

Im still very early, I know, and still have lots to work on. Hopefully I can figure out what’s missing so I can truly be content.

DriGuy

For me that seemed like it was just a matter of time. It was a goal of mine, but I didn't work toward that directly. I did work on other issues when the need came up. And there weren't actually a lot of those other issues, either. Just NOT being in the clutches of alcoholism did a lot to carry me along.