Trying for real this time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 20
One year ago tomorrow I was taken to the hospital and decided to detox. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since--one year sober.
In some ways that's really hard to believe, and at the same time I knew I had it in me and that I had the willpower and determination to get this year under my belt. I would not have made it this far if I didn't have support in the beginning and along the way.
It's truly incredible to think about where I was a year ago and in the weeks following my hospital stay to where I am now. For those that are considering getting sober or who are newly sober and struggling, let me share my experience (although I know everyone will be different):
--Getting extra support in the beginning is key (for many, you will need some sort of occasional support for a long time). Whether that's medication, this forum, AA, Smart Recovery, therapists, family and friends, etc. You'll need to open up to someone or some group and focus on accountability, sharing your struggles and feelings, and focusing on your 'whys'. For me, I needed a medical detox, therapy, and supportive friends and family. For others it will be different, but the support is key.
--Cravings take many forms early on. They can be physical dependency cravings very early, but those will go away within 3-6 weeks in my experience. Eventually any craving will probably come from the reason why you drank in the first place whether that was anxiety, social situations, habit, failed relationships, bad luck, stress, boredom, etc. You've got to identify those sources and know that alcohol will only make the issues worse. This was key for me. Anxiety and stress were huge drivers of my drinking, and I've stayed in therapy for over a year now working on them so that they don't trigger drinking. I also left a relationship that was contributing to my stress and anxiety.
--Take note of the positive changes along the way when you stop drinking. You'll probably lose weight, your face will get thinner and clear up (if those were issues), you'll save money, you won't have hangovers, over time you will sleep much better, you'll be able to be more physically active and your cardiovascular endurance will improve, other health markers will improve, you'll feel free to commit to more activities or occasions that you enjoy without having to worry about the alcohol situation, etc. Just make mental notes of these things (or write them down) as you progress through sobriety--these are all things I wouldn't want to give up.
--If you're single, it's not a big deal to be sober. Personally, I was worried about this because I knew that my relationship would probably fail once I got sober. In truth, I've found that it's incredibly easy to date as a sober person. Yeah, you might be a touch more nervous in the beginning, but you can overcome that. I just tell people that I don't drink or that I took a break from drinking and I don't know if I'll ever go back to it--no one has cared. I've found that more women care that I don't eat red meat than care if I drink! It's basically a non-issue.
--The more sober time you have under your belt, the less you will care about it. For the first six months I probably thought about drinking at some point every day (not that I considered physically drinking, but the concept of alcohol or drinking would enter my mind). Over the last several months, I hardly think about it unless I'm in a situation where it's around--and even then it causes little to no response from me in my head. It's just not a thing I do or think about anymore and when it does enter my environment, it's nothing more than a passing thought or awareness.
Those are just some of my reflections after one year. Sobriety is not a linear and perfect road, but it is infinitely better than a drinking life. It is very possible to become a sober person as evidenced by so many on this forum and out there in the world if you're willing to commit and put in a little work. Here's to year 2.
In some ways that's really hard to believe, and at the same time I knew I had it in me and that I had the willpower and determination to get this year under my belt. I would not have made it this far if I didn't have support in the beginning and along the way.
It's truly incredible to think about where I was a year ago and in the weeks following my hospital stay to where I am now. For those that are considering getting sober or who are newly sober and struggling, let me share my experience (although I know everyone will be different):
--Getting extra support in the beginning is key (for many, you will need some sort of occasional support for a long time). Whether that's medication, this forum, AA, Smart Recovery, therapists, family and friends, etc. You'll need to open up to someone or some group and focus on accountability, sharing your struggles and feelings, and focusing on your 'whys'. For me, I needed a medical detox, therapy, and supportive friends and family. For others it will be different, but the support is key.
--Cravings take many forms early on. They can be physical dependency cravings very early, but those will go away within 3-6 weeks in my experience. Eventually any craving will probably come from the reason why you drank in the first place whether that was anxiety, social situations, habit, failed relationships, bad luck, stress, boredom, etc. You've got to identify those sources and know that alcohol will only make the issues worse. This was key for me. Anxiety and stress were huge drivers of my drinking, and I've stayed in therapy for over a year now working on them so that they don't trigger drinking. I also left a relationship that was contributing to my stress and anxiety.
--Take note of the positive changes along the way when you stop drinking. You'll probably lose weight, your face will get thinner and clear up (if those were issues), you'll save money, you won't have hangovers, over time you will sleep much better, you'll be able to be more physically active and your cardiovascular endurance will improve, other health markers will improve, you'll feel free to commit to more activities or occasions that you enjoy without having to worry about the alcohol situation, etc. Just make mental notes of these things (or write them down) as you progress through sobriety--these are all things I wouldn't want to give up.
--If you're single, it's not a big deal to be sober. Personally, I was worried about this because I knew that my relationship would probably fail once I got sober. In truth, I've found that it's incredibly easy to date as a sober person. Yeah, you might be a touch more nervous in the beginning, but you can overcome that. I just tell people that I don't drink or that I took a break from drinking and I don't know if I'll ever go back to it--no one has cared. I've found that more women care that I don't eat red meat than care if I drink! It's basically a non-issue.
--The more sober time you have under your belt, the less you will care about it. For the first six months I probably thought about drinking at some point every day (not that I considered physically drinking, but the concept of alcohol or drinking would enter my mind). Over the last several months, I hardly think about it unless I'm in a situation where it's around--and even then it causes little to no response from me in my head. It's just not a thing I do or think about anymore and when it does enter my environment, it's nothing more than a passing thought or awareness.
Those are just some of my reflections after one year. Sobriety is not a linear and perfect road, but it is infinitely better than a drinking life. It is very possible to become a sober person as evidenced by so many on this forum and out there in the world if you're willing to commit and put in a little work. Here's to year 2.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,945
It's truly incredible to think about where I was a year ago
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 20
I missed posting on here on the exact date, but I hit 2 years free of alcohol on August 13th. So I guess I'm at around 2 years and 10 days now or about 740 days--that last part is pretty crazy when each individual day, each individual hour is a monumental accomplishment in early recovery. In truth, each day still is a monumental accomplishment even if it doesn't feel that way anymore.
I think about alcohol much less than I used to, but thoughts do still come up from time to time--they're just quieter than they once were.
I went through terrible times as a sober person over the last two years and didn't turn back to alcohol. The worst was when my beloved dog died the day after my birthday in March of this year. But I also went through great times--I'm building a house and breaking ground on that next week, I welcomed a new puppy into my life last month, and I've started dating again (with someone else who doesn't drink other than once or twice a year). Big emotions didn't lead me to drink and that's something I'm proud of.
I often think about how crucial this forum was for me in the earliest days of my recovery and I do think it's important to celebratory the victories in all of these journeys whether that's one hour, one day, one year, 10 years sober or even just the acknowledgement that change needs to happen.
I think about alcohol much less than I used to, but thoughts do still come up from time to time--they're just quieter than they once were.
I went through terrible times as a sober person over the last two years and didn't turn back to alcohol. The worst was when my beloved dog died the day after my birthday in March of this year. But I also went through great times--I'm building a house and breaking ground on that next week, I welcomed a new puppy into my life last month, and I've started dating again (with someone else who doesn't drink other than once or twice a year). Big emotions didn't lead me to drink and that's something I'm proud of.
I often think about how crucial this forum was for me in the earliest days of my recovery and I do think it's important to celebratory the victories in all of these journeys whether that's one hour, one day, one year, 10 years sober or even just the acknowledgement that change needs to happen.
❤️❤️Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,170
Originally Posted by pianoman83 
I think about alcohol much less than I used to, but thoughts do still come up from time to time--they're just quieter than they once were.
Be proud of yourself for making the decision to get free & taking action.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Pianoman, Congratulations on your 2 year recovery. That's a great achievement. I'm so sorry about the loss of your beloved dog. I'm sure that the new puppy will bring loads of joy to your life.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
