Sweetd1033

I am now on Day 5 of no drinking and I honestly feel like another person, I can actually think somewhat clear, go figure!
One thing I have been reluctant to do is add up all of the money I spent on my last relapse. I was already behind financially before and now I've just put myself in a worse position.
Has anyone else suffered financial hardship due to their addiction?
How did some of you further into your sobriety deal with that?
I am very positive that everything will work itself out as long as I stay sober but right now I just feel like a f*ing idiot.
-D

Mizz

It will all work out just as long as you continue working towards the solution.
Day 5 is spectacular. Keep moving forward. You will feel better soon. The first few weeks are a roller coaster of emotion and regret.
At least they were for me.

As for financially....I have not suffered financial consequences as a result of my drinking. I have more money now and am able to live comfortably. Meaning- Food, shelter, bills paid and the random new pillow or hoodie here and there. Being sober allowed for me to actualize a gym in the spare bedroom. Just keep moving forward. You can do this. I believe in you. Positive thinking goes a long way.

Surrendered19

My active drinking was financially disastrous for me. The cost of the booze was north of 10K per year - easily - and then there was all the spending I did while drunk every single day. Smokes. Junk food. Amazon. And on and on. I figure drinking was a 30K per year endeavor for me. And I cannot even add up the opportunity costs and the tens of thousands of hours that I lost lying there in oblivion. I'm so glad that is behind me.

biminiblue

I had lots of financial consequences. Relationship consequences, professional career consequences.

I think it's not helpful to dwell on that, it's over and I can't change it. I can change my life going forward.

novips

A quote from the Big Book that might be relevant:

The head of the house ought to remember that he is mainly to blame for what befell his home. He can scarcely square the account in his lifetime. But he must see the danger of over-concentration on financial success. Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.

lessgravity

As the sage Jay Z puts it, gotta learn to live with regrets.

I found the sober app on my phone, which counts days but also keeps an estimate tally of money saved, to be motivation, especially in early sobriety. Drinking takes and takes and takes. For some people it's a fun, social activity. For many others it's a black hole of absolute devastation and suffering.

I think coming to terms with this is important but even more important is not letting the regret and shame and financial/spiritual/physical toll prevent you from putting it down for good. I know that for years I would use the whole "well I f'ed up so much there's no use in quitting" excuse to keep boozing - be wary of falling into that trap.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on day 5! It's very common to start taking stock/assessing the damage we did when first quitting, but as others have mentioned it's all in the past and not something you can change. Even many years into sobriety I still occasionally think about it, but the best medicine is to live today like you would have wanted to live back then.

I certainly had financial issues associated with my drinking - and not just the money I spent on alcohol, but overall it was probably not the worst part of it. The damage I did by lying/hiding/avoiding responsibility for my life was the worst consequence. It's a lot easier to earn money than respect if you know what I mean ;-)

Bottom line though, focus on moving forward and the things you can change today. If you do that, the future will take care of itself and the bad parts of your past will be overshadowed by the good.

D122y

My old friend used to drink too much. So did I. We both don't drink anymore.

We changed our lifestyle to a non drinker. Some people don't drink.

I asked my buddy, do you remember what getting drunk did for you?

He said:

1. He got euphoric. All his problems melted away. Even though they were still there, they didn't matter. I agreed.

2. He felt like superman. Not sure what that means, but I think it means he would jump off roofs or something. I never felt like that. Luckily.

So, I decided that I could pretend I was drunk. I would just pretend I didn't have any problems. Like a day dream.

Some folks call this meditation. Some folks call this gratitude.

I call it sober life.

I list my issues on my phone. Even if they are wrong. For example: I am a spoiled rotten brat. I make too much noise when my wife is sleeping. I bang around the house too much. I am passive aggressive.

Then I list a solutions. Even if they are wrong. For example: every day is a day to make things better. Today I am going to spread love love love. I am going to smile more. I am going to not be an angry driver. I won't honk my horn when the guy cuts me off. I will mop the kitchen floor. etc etc.

Anyway, that is how I deal with troubles. I am blessed to not have financial issues right now, but I have other issues. We will always have issues.

Hope this helps in some way.

Thanks.

DriGuy

I haven't had any financial hardships, I've always had enough to support my drinking, but that doesn't mean I didn't waste a lot of money. Just recently, I installed the "I Am Sober" app on my phone, which tells you how many days/months/years you have in, but also figures out how much you have saved since you quit. In 25 years since my last drink, it tells me I've saved $65,000. And I think that is actually low.

Aellyce

No hardships, but definitely wasted money and didn't live up to my potential. I am not overly materialistic, but have had various small businesses in my life and normally enjoy managing my finances, investing etc, but my focus on those things suffered on/off during my drinking. I regret missed/lost opportunities and that I didn't start some things earlier. One of the elements of sobriety I enjoy a lot now is that all these interests have returned and much more, since I am now a 100% self-employed entrepreneur and finances rely on my better judgment, choices and effort. Part of the reason I didn't quit an unsatisfying job earlier was because I used it as financial security blanket. Now I have less security but much more freedom to do as I wish with my finances, and an intact mind for it. I spend a lot of my time learning about and figuring out new ways to make money, and it's great I don't need to worry about wasting it, either directly or due to negligence and procrastination.

nez

The monetary damage and any financial hardship from my drinking was nothing compared to the fact that if I continued to drink, it was going to cost me my life. Not only that, but I can't even fathom the cost of getting in a drunken driving accident that cost someone else their life but left me alive; and that is a real possibility for an alcoholic. The value of my sobriety...priceless.

advbike

The money I spent drinking was nothing. A six-pack or two of craft beer or some good wine a few times a month for a small "binge", was tiny in comparison to the cost of the bad decisions I have made when drinking, or even just afterward - with my brain desperately seeking some type of stimulation for the reward pathways. I have started new relationships, flown off for ill-planned adventures, spent thousands of dollars on toys and gear, vehicles, even purchased a vacation home in the mountains once. Fortunately that turned out to be a good investment - but the others certainly weren't. I can't tally all the damage up - I tried once and it makes me sick. It's one reason I can never drink again. I can't afford the repercussions from the mental state that occurs.

GerandTwine

Father Bring Home the Money To-night !!
link ^

ciowa

Good work on making it this far Sweetd. Similar to others, the actual cost of the alcohol was low for me but it was the associated costs and mindset that had a big impact on my financial struggles. I was a binge drinker so I wouldn't drink alcohol for periods from a few days to months but even then I still didnt think practically too far into the future. As a result, I blew money all the time and always seemed to be reacting to some mishap or another caused by drinking, an injury, a loss of items, a blown meeting/project etc.

About a year and a half into recovery, i noticed I had the most money in my bank account that I could recall in 25 years. I opened a savings account and have been adding to it ever since. I didnt plan this as my health and relationships were the primary motivating factors for me to get sober. But I dont do stupid stuff like black out ordering things online, taking ride shares around town for 45 min to find an open liquor store, ditching paid gigs (side hustles) because Im too drunk or hung over to show up, all that kind of stuff.

least

Spending money on wine instead of paying my bills put me in debt. But thru my own best efforts, I am now nearly out of debt and no longer spend money on alcohol. Stay sober and tackle your financial woes a little at a time. You'll get there.

dustyfox

Amazingly despite at times, in my twenties being a drinker who drank before even going to work, despite drinking every day more or less, for 30 years, I have never lost a job or jeopardised my career - so therefore I always had money to buy alcohol. For me 'the financial cost' never bothered me, even when I was younger and had much less money and I might but wine over food. It probably should but money does not motivate me at all. The reason 7 days ago that I stopped had nothing to do with money. It was all to do with self esteem. For my husband, who drinks but nowhere near as heavily a me, money would motivate him probably more than health - odd. Great work Sweetd for getting to day 5 - day 5 is great place to get too.

RecklessDrunk

The way out of this is one day at a time.

Gratitude for every little thing you can think of. Start with basics like food on the table and a roof over head. We are born into a World that owes us nothing. We are not entitled to these things and lucky to have them no matter who we are or how hard we have worked. Even honest, hard working people can catch a bad break and lose everything. Our ancestors did not have the luxuries that we have. Humans thousands of years ago did not live like this.

I was somewhat functioning. I got up and went to work everyday to a decent middle class job. I would always cut things close, always too much CC debt. Many times when I drank, i liked to smoke crack cocaine as well. Other drugs too. Just when I'm getting it back together a series of crack binges. Besides that when I was active in my alcoholism, even at sober times my brain was garbage and making poor and lazy decisions at times. Lots of debt but I didn't care, I could drink.

So I got sober and at the end of the first year got fired. Laid off I guess is the proper term but the company no longer needed me. New boss wanted to clean house. After more then a dozen years there of drinking and druggin in my spare time now they can me! Life has a sick sense of humor or so I thought.

I found a much better job and its a new set of problems. Its more under my control though. More money but more bills. I don't see my employer as a provider though. I use to see it that way. I see God as the provider now. God has always provided what I have needed even when I was drinking and didn't realize it.

I see my employer as something that helps me serve a purpose. How can I serve my employer and how can my employer serve the community and its employees? Thats the way I look at it now. What can I contribute and what is the best I can do? Should I further my education? Should I learn a new skill? I think if I worry about this kind of stuff then God will provide the money.