How do you forgive yourself?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
How could I not forgive myself? I didn't become an alcoholic because of malicious intents. I am a human being and part of being human is being accompanied by flaws, mistakes, and poor judgement at times. It is not a get out of jail free card though.
Humility helps me to accept that I am not perfect, as opposed to the false pride of ego that tells me I should be better than that...says who! I am a human.
My behavior won't be always stellar, but as long as I strive for growth and improvement while practicing humility, the forgiveness of others and self, will happen as part of the flow.
Forgiveness is an amazing experience. It sets me free and brings such a feeling of serenity, warmth, and comfort. So why...am I not better at and still struggle with it...because I am human, and a slow learner.
Humility and forgiveness seem to walk together hand in hand. My tongue in cheek mantra to remember to practice them is "I think we're all bozos on this bus."( nod to: Firesign Theatre)
Spiritual practice is called practice for a good reason.
Humility helps me to accept that I am not perfect, as opposed to the false pride of ego that tells me I should be better than that...says who! I am a human.
My behavior won't be always stellar, but as long as I strive for growth and improvement while practicing humility, the forgiveness of others and self, will happen as part of the flow.
Forgiveness is an amazing experience. It sets me free and brings such a feeling of serenity, warmth, and comfort. So why...am I not better at and still struggle with it...because I am human, and a slow learner.
Humility and forgiveness seem to walk together hand in hand. My tongue in cheek mantra to remember to practice them is "I think we're all bozos on this bus."( nod to: Firesign Theatre)
Spiritual practice is called practice for a good reason.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Coincidentally (?) we were studying page 124 in the big book at my home group this week. One of the passages gives a clue to the question of self forgiveness.
"This painful past may be of infinite value to other families still struggling with their problem. We think each family which has been relieved owes something to those who have not, and when the occasion requires, each member of it should be only too willing to bring former mistakes, no matter how grievous, out of their hiding places. Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them."
Quite remarkable that my liabilities were all turned into assets through working/living the steps. Consider: I came to AA full of guilt and remorse, totally undeserving of recovery. That feeling stayed with me quite a while. However, I did my best with the program to treat a disease it was not my choice to have. In that process I lost my egoism, squarely faced my issues, became willing to change (contrition) went out to the world to clean up the mess I had made, made such amends as was possible, paid debts, healed past hurts as best I could, resolved not to repeat past behavior and demonstrated that I was sincere by living in a new way. Mistakes made after this point were cleaned up as I went. I later realised two things. One was that being "deserving" is not a requirement of God's grace, and the second was that having done all of the above, my utmost to rectify the mistakes of the past. what was left to forgive?
"This painful past may be of infinite value to other families still struggling with their problem. We think each family which has been relieved owes something to those who have not, and when the occasion requires, each member of it should be only too willing to bring former mistakes, no matter how grievous, out of their hiding places. Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them."
Quite remarkable that my liabilities were all turned into assets through working/living the steps. Consider: I came to AA full of guilt and remorse, totally undeserving of recovery. That feeling stayed with me quite a while. However, I did my best with the program to treat a disease it was not my choice to have. In that process I lost my egoism, squarely faced my issues, became willing to change (contrition) went out to the world to clean up the mess I had made, made such amends as was possible, paid debts, healed past hurts as best I could, resolved not to repeat past behavior and demonstrated that I was sincere by living in a new way. Mistakes made after this point were cleaned up as I went. I later realised two things. One was that being "deserving" is not a requirement of God's grace, and the second was that having done all of the above, my utmost to rectify the mistakes of the past. what was left to forgive?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
How's it going today, Evoo? Thoughts are with you.
. A lot of really good messages here. I've continued to take it one day at a time, I'm very happy. Occasionally I am hit with a smack of guilt and anxiety, but I have the tools to work past it... and none of those tools involve alcohol.
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