New: Adding SR to my recovery tools
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 4
New: Adding SR to my recovery tools
Hello all.
I signed up today for SR to add a new tool to help me with my road to recovery. I stopped drinking about 2.5 months ago and had been going to a outpatient type class a few days a week. I finished the program but had a slip two days ago. I am obviously feeling pretty bad about my mistake, and I think it makes me look like I am full of BS to my family. My wife feels like treatment 'didn't work' and I didn't get anything out of it. I recognize that must be impossible for someone like her without an substance abuse issue to fully understand, but I feel like I did learn from my time there. To be honest, that was the longest time for me not drinking in years.
I am still trying to figure out why I screwed up. I had been pretty happy with my decision and thing were looking up on the home front. I am starting over and am trying to be optimistic that I can do better this time.
I signed up today for SR to add a new tool to help me with my road to recovery. I stopped drinking about 2.5 months ago and had been going to a outpatient type class a few days a week. I finished the program but had a slip two days ago. I am obviously feeling pretty bad about my mistake, and I think it makes me look like I am full of BS to my family. My wife feels like treatment 'didn't work' and I didn't get anything out of it. I recognize that must be impossible for someone like her without an substance abuse issue to fully understand, but I feel like I did learn from my time there. To be honest, that was the longest time for me not drinking in years.
I am still trying to figure out why I screwed up. I had been pretty happy with my decision and thing were looking up on the home front. I am starting over and am trying to be optimistic that I can do better this time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Welcome.
I think it would really help you if you contact someone from the IOP and talk it through.
Obviously you hadn't shored up all the holes.
What were you thinking just before you took that drink? What was going on that day that made a drink sound like a good idea?
I had to say, "No more. I don't drink." I said that many times in early days, because I had stopped drinking and I was committed to that decision.
I think it would really help you if you contact someone from the IOP and talk it through.
Obviously you hadn't shored up all the holes.
What were you thinking just before you took that drink? What was going on that day that made a drink sound like a good idea?
I had to say, "No more. I don't drink." I said that many times in early days, because I had stopped drinking and I was committed to that decision.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome, and I'm glad you're working on your recovery.
I do think it's important to understand why you decided to drink a couple of days ago. That's the way to prevent the same thing from happening again. It might be that you need to add something to your daily life to help you. Or could it be people you were spending time with who influenced you to drink?
I do think it's important to understand why you decided to drink a couple of days ago. That's the way to prevent the same thing from happening again. It might be that you need to add something to your daily life to help you. Or could it be people you were spending time with who influenced you to drink?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Biminiblue makes two excellent points, that I agree with. What were your thoughts just before you drank? Learn to recognize the Addictive Voice that wants you to drink. And a firm commitment helps, by eliminating the "discussion" some of us have with the AV which results in rationalizations for a drink. Do not do that! When you get the thought to "have only one or two" shut it down immediately.
"Not an Option" was what I would say when the thought arose. You can do it too, Strength..
I also found it extremely helpful to come here and read/post 2-3 times a day. Made all the difference for me.
"Not an Option" was what I would say when the thought arose. You can do it too, Strength..
I also found it extremely helpful to come here and read/post 2-3 times a day. Made all the difference for me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 600
The decision you made to join SR could potentially save your life. It did for me. Keep reading and posting. This site kept me from relapsing, I wasn't able to do it myself. I needed the wisdom I found here and the encouragement allowed me to break free of the insidious hold of alcohol. Currently I am 2 1/2 years sober and you can do it too. Keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 1
New to the battle
Good afternoon. I'm new and looking for some tools. I'm a pretty heavy drinker, around 18-20 per day. I was able to quit for about 6 months, but then had a bad set of luck and it threw me right back in. I have so many positive things in my life, work, school, etc, but I just can't seem to let this thing go again. I'm a 43 year old male, IT Manager, and working on my Masters degree. Things should be better, but they're not. I went to therapy for a while, but I suspect she was the wrong one. I'm not a religion man, so AA didn't really fit the bill, but I'm starting to think that I may need to exempt the religious part of it for the sake of having a support group. There's not a lot of other options around my area.
I know it's time I do something, before I can't, or before it kills me. A treatment center isn't the worst idea, but with my job (which I can't lose given the bridges I've burned in the past) the time away won't work.
Feeling....lost....
I know it's time I do something, before I can't, or before it kills me. A treatment center isn't the worst idea, but with my job (which I can't lose given the bridges I've burned in the past) the time away won't work.
Feeling....lost....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcome to you both.
Strength - same great advice here....while many of us do falter I think it's vital to work out why t happened so that it doesn't happen again. Thinking back to how you gave yourself permission to drink again is a great tool.
I'm glad you've joined us - support made all the difference for me
Jaximus - most recovery methods are doing zoom meetings right now which is great cos it doesn;t matter how far you are from civilisation - you don't even have to leave the house. If AA is not your thing maybe a secular meeting based approach like SMART Recovery or lifering would work?
Both of you would be very welcome in our Class of February 2021 thread - all you need to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-pt-1-a-6.html
You might consider starting your own thread here too Jaximus? - you'd get more feedback that way
D
Strength - same great advice here....while many of us do falter I think it's vital to work out why t happened so that it doesn't happen again. Thinking back to how you gave yourself permission to drink again is a great tool.
I'm glad you've joined us - support made all the difference for me
Jaximus - most recovery methods are doing zoom meetings right now which is great cos it doesn;t matter how far you are from civilisation - you don't even have to leave the house. If AA is not your thing maybe a secular meeting based approach like SMART Recovery or lifering would work?
Both of you would be very welcome in our Class of February 2021 thread - all you need to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-pt-1-a-6.html
You might consider starting your own thread here too Jaximus? - you'd get more feedback that way
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Welcome to the family Strength and Jaximus!
I credit SR with my sobriety. The members here helped me stay sober in the early days and now I come here to give back what was so freely given to me when I was new.
I credit SR with my sobriety. The members here helped me stay sober in the early days and now I come here to give back what was so freely given to me when I was new.
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Originally Posted by Jaximus 
Good afternoon. I'm new and looking for some tools. I'm a pretty heavy drinker, around 18-20 per day. I was able to quit for about 6 months, but then had a bad set of luck and it threw me right back in. I have so many positive things in my life, work, school, etc, but I just can't seem to let this thing go again. I'm a 43 year old male, IT Manager, and working on my Masters degree. Things should be better, but they're not. I went to therapy for a while, but I suspect she was the wrong one. I'm not a religion man, so AA didn't really fit the bill, but I'm starting to think that I may need to exempt the religious part of it for the sake of having a support group. There's not a lot of other options around my area.
I know it's time I do something, before I can't, or before it kills me. A treatment center isn't the worst idea, but with my job (which I can't lose given the bridges I've burned in the past) the time away won't work.
Feeling....lost....
I know it's time I do something, before I can't, or before it kills me. A treatment center isn't the worst idea, but with my job (which I can't lose given the bridges I've burned in the past) the time away won't work.
Feeling....lost....
Hi Strength4 as well! I agree with others to try to figure out what your trigger was to build a plan to address it next time without the drinking. You are correct a non addicted person never quite understands how it is despite best efforts. So while you can concentrate some on that trigger, more importantly is just stay sober today. Then, Tommorrow, your goal remains the same....stay sober today.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
Originally Posted by Jaximus
Good afternoon. I'm new and looking for some tools. I'm a pretty heavy drinker, around 18-20 per day. I was able to quit for about 6 months, but then had a bad set of luck and it threw me right back in. I have so many positive things in my life, work, school, etc, but I just can't seem to let this thing go again. I'm a 43 year old male, IT Manager, and working on my Masters degree. Things should be better, but they're not. I went to therapy for a while, but I suspect she was the wrong one. I'm not a religion man, so AA didn't really fit the bill, but I'm starting to think that I may need to exempt the religious part of it for the sake of having a support group. There's not a lot of other options around my area.
I know it's time I do something, before I can't, or before it kills me. A treatment center isn't the worst idea, but with my job (which I can't lose given the bridges I've burned in the past) the time away won't work.
Feeling....lost....
I know it's time I do something, before I can't, or before it kills me. A treatment center isn't the worst idea, but with my job (which I can't lose given the bridges I've burned in the past) the time away won't work.
Feeling....lost....
What put me on earth? I needed to think this through myself. I mean besides my parents what actually got me in this physical body? Where does my brain end and my soul begin? Something put me here for a reason and life is easier when I trust it and just roll with it.
Many in AAs don't go to church. Some may be really religious but that's them and they're relationship with a higher power. I wouldn't get put off by it.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi Strength - I'm so glad you're here with us. I felt so much better when I knew I could speak freely about my situation. No one else in my life truly understood.
I had a similar thing happen. I had a dui & was told to attend court ordered sessions with a counselor. He was great, & I learned so much. I poured my heart out to him & had every intention of using his advice to stay sober. For no reason I picked up one day after my classes were over. I could feel people's impatience & disappointment - they thought I was lost again. But I wasn't. I was getting ready to give it up for good. I guess I needed that last slip for further proof that I could never touch a drop. I started again with much more determination, & I never picked up again. That was 13 yrs. ago. You can do it, too.
Welcome to you too, Jax!
I had a similar thing happen. I had a dui & was told to attend court ordered sessions with a counselor. He was great, & I learned so much. I poured my heart out to him & had every intention of using his advice to stay sober. For no reason I picked up one day after my classes were over. I could feel people's impatience & disappointment - they thought I was lost again. But I wasn't. I was getting ready to give it up for good. I guess I needed that last slip for further proof that I could never touch a drop. I started again with much more determination, & I never picked up again. That was 13 yrs. ago. You can do it, too.
Welcome to you too, Jax!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
I'm not religious or spiritual, but when I quit 25 years ago, AA was about my only isolated small town option, but I stayed in the program for years. I even tried to get spiritual, as I was told it was necessary, but none of it was ever meaningful to me. But I did benefit from the fellowship and group discussions where we sometimes got past the big book and got down to what I call the nitty gritty for lack of another word. It was also useful to have a place where I could go every night during my prime drinking time. For a nonreligious person, many of the steps can easily be turned into secular steps that are more meaningful and effective for the nonbeliever, and they do provide a kind of a primer on finding a more pleasant and even joyful sober life. If SR was around back then, I was not aware of it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 175
Hey there, I definitely understand where you are coming from and most of us have experienced the pain of relapse after such determination and hope. it is a good move to add this to your toolbox of recovery tools. in my journey I am constantly trying to add more and more and planning for those days or moments of weakness. The more tools the better, this is a good start, but find many more! Try not to be too hard on yourself and figure out what led up to the relapse. More than likely it was a process. Once you have identified this it will help you in the future. All the best
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,387
I prefer to think of the things that help me stay sober as weapons, not tools. Cause this is war, life or death and whatnot. We're playing for keeps! SR strikes fear in the hearts of my enemies, who might be viewed as alcohol, Satan perhaps, or even my own self-destructive tendencies.
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