anxiousrock

I am starting my step 4 with my sponsor today and booked my step 5 for the end of the month (with the person my sponsor did hers with!).
I am so nervous for these steps, I legit might throw up . But I'm trying really hard to remain calm and do the best I can.
who else has done a step 4 and 5?

Anna

I haven't done the steps, anxiousrock, but I think it's good that you're taking action. I'm sure it's normal to be nervous, but you can do hard things.

snitch

Yes. Twice and now doing again in another fellowship. I found it to be an amazing experience x

Steely

When I used go to AA I did Steps 4 and 5 anxiousrock, and was really nervous too. I thought I had to do this absolutely perfect, life changing thing, and I was only a little bubba. Scared. Didn't know shite from clay.

I didn't produce the perfect result, but it helped in focussing my mind, and look towards honesty. I tried most of all to be honest, even if embarressed. I thought that was probably necessary.

It'll be ok anxious rock. Just do the best you can, and that's good enough. From what I understand some people do Steps 4 and 5 on an ongoing basis because we change as we grow and need to revisit.

You're doing great anxiousrock.

kateobr

I haven't yet. But I can't wait to get there. You can do this! Sending good vibes your way!

Obladi

I have, and you know what?
It's really just a fact-finding mission, in my estimation.

When I was finished writing my step 4, I sat back and said, "Ohhhhh - I understand now."
Seriously.

anxiousrock

Okat thanks everyone. I talked to my sponsor about it today too and she kind of calmed me down.
I guess I'm nervous at because of my social anxiety too - how to talk to someone for 2.5 hrs.

Now that I have it booked and talked to my sponsor more I feel a bit better.

RecklessDrunk

I couldn't wait to find out what the heck was wrong with me. I was 42 and since I was maybe 8 years old I wanted to know what was wrong with me. I was messed up years before that but that's about the time I was realizing I'm not like other kids.

In my opinion its a lot of nuts and bolts of the program. Understanding ourselves. I think I was more afraid of continuing on with such a messed up mind then what I might have to face in step 4 or 5.

lifewithart

Sending all of the best to you for your deep dive. I truly hope that this brings a sense of freedom and humility that will help you to stay clean and to serve others. all the love.

Surrendered19

What are steps 4 & 5? Are they more vigorous AA tasks?

fini

i have, anxiousrock.
i took longer than i should have for 4 and got a bit steeped in some misery, so it’s great you have booked your 5th already. it will help you get 4 done.
and whoa, inlearned a lot about myself.
5...i did with a nun trained for this, and she didn’t do it quite the way i expected
i left there feeling greatly relieved. felt free. grateful. clean.

advbike

I did it, wasn't helpful to me so I'll leave it at that.

Good luck on it though. Helps many folks.

nez

Anxiousrock, step 4 & 5 were the most liberating things I have ever done in my life. The truth shall set you free... is so right!!! All I can say is WOW!!! They are not to be feared, although most people do before they do them, Done with complete honesty and thouroughness, they are life changing. Trust the process and keep moving forward. I am happy for you!

anxiousrock

this so amazing to hear, I can't wait to see if that happens to me. I am also doing this with a nun who basically only does step 5's.

anxiousrock

I LOVE to hear this! I'm really looking forward to speaking with the nun in going to see, but nervous beyond belief.

anxiousrock

Yes, you make a personal inventory of resentments, fears, etc. Then you go speak to someone about it (nun in my case), and admit your wrongs. Kind of like confession?
anyway step 4 is the first one you actually take pen to paper, which I'm doing now

Steely

I didn't see it as "confession", anxiousrock. But guess it could be perceived this way.

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

I just saw it as getting honest.

Best wishes on 4&5 anxiousrock. ❤️

anxiousrock

ive never been to confession so, I really don't know lol.
I'm nervous and excited!

fini

anxiousrock, i went in with a plan on everything i meant to talk about, as most people told me it would be like a reading of step 4, though that is not what i understood the book to mean by “the exact nature of our wrongs”.
anyway, when i got there, i realized that the nun also had a plan, and though she would have listened to anything and everything i had been ready to speak of, i decided to let her lead and to follow with her through the process as she saw fit.
worked out brilliantly.
hm...one thing i see right this second is that that was a leap of trust i didn’t usually make...but of course that is part of that step

Steely

I reckon it's great you're "nervous and excited", anxious rock.

Very good feelings indeed. Love it. ❤️