Holy Moly!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Hey there,
I remember when i first did the steps and thought the same way. Just do the best you can and you'll be fine. : ) Many people do the steps over and over again for the rest of their lives. It's progress not perfection. You'll be ok.
Garrison
I remember when i first did the steps and thought the same way. Just do the best you can and you'll be fine. : ) Many people do the steps over and over again for the rest of their lives. It's progress not perfection. You'll be ok.
Garrison
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Check in... did my step 5 and kinda didn't like it. I don't like how it made me feel and didn't agree with a lot of it.
however, today I am 8 weeks and I dont have the feeling like I'm going to drink.
I had a doctor appt today and I have very low blood pressure which I kind of figured since I always feel crappy and have fainted quite a few times recently.
so now I need my bloods done, EKG, and also another issue where I need to see a dermatologist and then probably a plastic surgeon 😫 . So my health is terrible right now...... but I'm not drinking and it's not related to drinking so that's probably a win?
however, today I am 8 weeks and I dont have the feeling like I'm going to drink.
I had a doctor appt today and I have very low blood pressure which I kind of figured since I always feel crappy and have fainted quite a few times recently.
so now I need my bloods done, EKG, and also another issue where I need to see a dermatologist and then probably a plastic surgeon 😫 . So my health is terrible right now...... but I'm not drinking and it's not related to drinking so that's probably a win?
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by advbike 
Way to go anxiousrock. The step work didn't sit well with me either. Works for some, not others.
You're doing great, keep it up!
You're doing great, keep it up!
plus with my health concerns, I won't be able to sponsor anyone anyways. And I'm still so very much at risk for relapse.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by anxiousrock
Not really. I also don't know how to quit AA now, since I already have a sponsor.
You are not obligated to anyone. You are attending AA for you. It is perfectly acceptable to say "this is not for me. thank you for your time but I am moving in a different direction"
Its your life. Live it how you want to live it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by anxiousrock
Okat thanks everyone. I talked to my sponsor about it today too and she kind of calmed me down.
I guess I'm nervous at because of my social anxiety too - how to talk to someone for 2.5 hrs.
Now that I have it booked and talked to my sponsor more I feel a bit better.
I guess I'm nervous at because of my social anxiety too - how to talk to someone for 2.5 hrs.
Now that I have it booked and talked to my sponsor more I feel a bit better.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by anxiousrock
I do like the idea of it, and the fellowship etc. BUT, I dont really agree with a lot of what has been said to me.
plus with my health concerns, I won't be able to sponsor anyone anyways. And I'm still so very much at risk for relapse.
plus with my health concerns, I won't be able to sponsor anyone anyways. And I'm still so very much at risk for relapse.
Whether you stay in AA or not is absolutely 100% up to you. Furthermore, if you walk away today and later decide it's for you, the doors will still be open. AA is for people who have tried everything else and been unsuccessful. I tried SMART and it didn't work for me. Most of the content was stuff I was already familiar with.
I continue to choose AA primarily because of the fellowship (meetings) and the book. Not even so much the steps. We are all individuals and like I was talking to my old sponsor the other day and we both agree, there are no two programs the same. EVERY AA implements the program into their own life in a unique way. So don't feel hemmed in, but remember, you've tried your own ways (I assume), and where did that get you? As always, pulling for you AR.
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
With anything in life as well as AA, take what you want and leave the rest. Have you met anyone or been involved with anything of consequence that you agree with EVERYTHING? I sure haven't. And really, only the book is AA. Basically everything else is someone's interpretation of it. There are people in AA that make me cringe and I would never want to "work their program."
Whether you stay in AA or not is absolutely 100% up to you. Furthermore, if you walk away today and later decide it's for you, the doors will still be open. AA is for people who have tried everything else and been unsuccessful. I tried SMART and it didn't work for me. Most of the content was stuff I was already familiar with.
I continue to choose AA primarily because of the fellowship (meetings) and the book. Not even so much the steps. We are all individuals and like I was talking to my old sponsor the other day and we both agree, there are no two programs the same. EVERY AA implements the program into their own life in a unique way. So don't feel hemmed in, but remember, you've tried your own ways (I assume), and where did that get you? As always, pulling for you AR.
Whether you stay in AA or not is absolutely 100% up to you. Furthermore, if you walk away today and later decide it's for you, the doors will still be open. AA is for people who have tried everything else and been unsuccessful. I tried SMART and it didn't work for me. Most of the content was stuff I was already familiar with.
I continue to choose AA primarily because of the fellowship (meetings) and the book. Not even so much the steps. We are all individuals and like I was talking to my old sponsor the other day and we both agree, there are no two programs the same. EVERY AA implements the program into their own life in a unique way. So don't feel hemmed in, but remember, you've tried your own ways (I assume), and where did that get you? As always, pulling for you AR.
I'm hanging in there. My AV is going nuts.
I dont know why, I just don't want to do this
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I wasn't going to mention this before, but feel I have to share my experience. That process isn't for everyone. Trust your intuition. After more than 2 years of no alcohol, and a crazy life without even a thought of drinking, I noticed my ego was being more negative, complaining, etc. No surpise, really, in a developing country where I was at the time. I was also experiencing dissatisfaction in my relationship (some of which was warranted). I wasn't considering drinking at all, but being an AA member, I received advice that I needed to work the steps. I apparently hadn't had a spiritual awakening and was a dry drunk, etc.
I embarked on that project over a period of about 8 months, with two sponsors in 2 countries. Imagine at almost 60 years old all the old baggage that can be found from a long, complicated life with a dysfunctional childhood, many lovers, a marriage, several jobs and living in 4 states. It was an overwhelming mess. I wasn't sure who I had wronged and who wronged me, lol. And no way to make amends to most, so many years later. By the time I ended the experiment I was drinking again. Parts of the process were good but it just brought up too much crap. I have said it before - it works for some but not all. This post won't be popular and your mileage may vary but it needed to be said.
I embarked on that project over a period of about 8 months, with two sponsors in 2 countries. Imagine at almost 60 years old all the old baggage that can be found from a long, complicated life with a dysfunctional childhood, many lovers, a marriage, several jobs and living in 4 states. It was an overwhelming mess. I wasn't sure who I had wronged and who wronged me, lol. And no way to make amends to most, so many years later. By the time I ended the experiment I was drinking again. Parts of the process were good but it just brought up too much crap. I have said it before - it works for some but not all. This post won't be popular and your mileage may vary but it needed to be said.
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by advbike
I wasn't going to mention this before, but feel I have to share my experience. That process isn't for everyone. Trust your intuition. After more than 2 years of no alcohol, and a crazy life without even a thought of drinking, I noticed my ego was being more negative, complaining, etc. No surpise, really, in a developing country where I was at the time. I was also experiencing dissatisfaction in my relationship (some of which was warranted). I wasn't considering drinking at all, but being an AA member, I received advice that I needed to work the steps. I apparently hadn't had a spiritual awakening and was a dry drunk, etc.
I embarked on that project over a period of about 8 months, with two sponsors in 2 countries. Imagine at almost 60 years old all the old baggage that can be found from a long, complicated life with a dysfunctional childhood, many lovers, a marriage, several jobs and living in 4 states. It was an overwhelming mess. I wasn't sure who I had wronged and who wronged me, lol. And no way to make amends to most, so many years later. By the time I ended the experiment I was drinking again. Parts of the process were good but it just brought up too much crap. I have said it before - it works for some but not all. This post won't be popular and your mileage may vary but it needed to be said.
I embarked on that project over a period of about 8 months, with two sponsors in 2 countries. Imagine at almost 60 years old all the old baggage that can be found from a long, complicated life with a dysfunctional childhood, many lovers, a marriage, several jobs and living in 4 states. It was an overwhelming mess. I wasn't sure who I had wronged and who wronged me, lol. And no way to make amends to most, so many years later. By the time I ended the experiment I was drinking again. Parts of the process were good but it just brought up too much crap. I have said it before - it works for some but not all. This post won't be popular and your mileage may vary but it needed to be said.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Yikes.. I'm sorry to hear that, AR. I wonder why? I hope you're okay.
I would always recommend SR of course, and probably SMART, if AA doesn't work for you. I haven't used it but read the Rational Recovery book and my understanding is the SMART program is based on the tenets of Rational Recovery, and AVRT, which I do like. It is kind of the opposite of AA in some ways, but I prefer not to go into detail here. There are several links over in the Secular Recovery section.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...r-connections/
Here's another:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ased-recovery/
I would always recommend SR of course, and probably SMART, if AA doesn't work for you. I haven't used it but read the Rational Recovery book and my understanding is the SMART program is based on the tenets of Rational Recovery, and AVRT, which I do like. It is kind of the opposite of AA in some ways, but I prefer not to go into detail here. There are several links over in the Secular Recovery section.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...r-connections/
Here's another:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ased-recovery/
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Wow. One sponsor does not the program make. I would recommend continuing attending meetings. Meetings, for me, have been the most important part of AA. I really cringe when I hear you think about walking away from AA. Do you think AA has anything to do with the sobriety you've achieved? I have found that sponsors are as different as flavors of ice cream. I have not grown from most of my sponsors. But two of them I stay in contact with to this day. One works the program religiously. The other has stepped away for a while. But all three of us have taken a lot from the program and it continues to drive our lives and our sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Right, she can certainly still attend meetings. I had no issues with meetings really, it was the step work and sponsors that I had most difficulty with. Two out my three sponsors were terrible. I mean these aren't professionals, after all.
I had to fix those links AR.. should be good now.
I had to fix those links AR.. should be good now.
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by advbike
Yikes.. I'm sorry to hear that, AR. I wonder why? I hope you're okay.
I would always recommend SR of course, and probably SMART, if AA doesn't work for you. I haven't used it but read the Rational Recovery book and my understanding is the SMART program is based on the tenets of Rational Recovery, and AVRT, which I do like. It is kind of the opposite of AA in some ways, but I prefer not to go into detail here. There are several links over in the Secular Recovery section.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...r-connections/
Here's another:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ased-recovery/
I would always recommend SR of course, and probably SMART, if AA doesn't work for you. I haven't used it but read the Rational Recovery book and my understanding is the SMART program is based on the tenets of Rational Recovery, and AVRT, which I do like. It is kind of the opposite of AA in some ways, but I prefer not to go into detail here. There are several links over in the Secular Recovery section.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...r-connections/
Here's another:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ased-recovery/
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
Wow. One sponsor does not the program make. I would recommend continuing attending meetings. Meetings, for me, have been the most important part of AA. I really cringe when I hear you think about walking away from AA. Do you think AA has anything to do with the sobriety you've achieved? I have found that sponsors are as different as flavors of ice cream. I have not grown from most of my sponsors. But two of them I stay in contact with to this day. One works the program religiously. The other has stepped away for a while. But all three of us have taken a lot from the program and it continues to drive our lives and our sobriety.
I am too mentally and physically unstable right now to sponsor anyone.
when I said I need to focus somewhat on my physical health as well (syncope due to low blood pressure) I was told I have to focus on the fellowship and that zoom isn't a real meeting.
I will continue meetings, but I guess I'm sans sponsor, which is why I thought if try smart recovey or something.
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by advbike
Right, she can certainly still attend meetings. I had no issues with meetings really, it was the step work and sponsors that I had most difficulty with. Two out my three sponsors were terrible. I mean these aren't professionals, after all.
I had to fix those links AR.. should be good now.
I had to fix those links AR.. should be good now.
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