Gushna

Well I am sorry to say that I broke last night. I had some stress about a couple things and used it as an excuse. I got some beer. After the first one I didn't even really want to do it, but did anyway. I am not sure why. All I know is that today I am mad at myself. But all I can do is start over and try again. I wasn't logging in here over the last week and maybe I need to make it a priority to read at least a couple threads every day to keep it fresh in my mind what I am trying to accomplish. Anyway, I guess I feel if I write it here for you all to read it will help motivate me to do better this time. I feel like I failed you all as well as myself. I am going keep trying!

Mizz

Gushna...You have not failed SR and I do not think you have failed yourself.
Sobriety is not a linear process and a lot of us have starts and stops. This sobriety business is real real hard work in the beginning.
Good for you that you have come back and want to give this another go.

I do think that we have to create a new structure for ourselves. New Healthy habits that replace the alcohol use.
Logging on here everyday is a good start.

anxiousrock

Just remember.... there is no drinkable matter or reason. Everything is easier done and taken care of sober.
However, it's good you're here. Stay close.

Anna

Gushna, I'm glad that you're back and working on your sobriety. I hope you can decide that drinking is never an answer to any problem, and know that you can learn new and healthy ways to deal with stress.

wholeself

I am worried about when my first real conflict comes up what my reaction will be. I have made a list to go through before giving in. Coming here helps so much. Reading about others struggles and success can be very motivating. I have failed so many times and this time feels different so far because I have access to support here 24 hours a day. Forgive yourself and keep going!

advbike

Hi Gushna, welcome back.

Your last post before you disappeared a week ago had a "goodbye" tone to it (see below) - I even replied at that time, out of concern.

The reason I bring it up is because we often make the decision to drink way before we actually do. It is important to examine your thinking regularly, and be on guard for rationalizations starting to appear. I also think your idea to visit the site more regularly now would be smart. I find regularly reading and posting is very helpful, and actually reduces drinking anxiety. As the days go by the thoughts become fewer.

Glad you're back!

brighterday1234

It is possible to get through anything sober. Keeping oneself connected with fellow alcoholics on a daily basis is a central tenet of recovery in my experience.

Hodd

I don’t know if this is appropriate, but I’ll make it my motto:

“Drinking is a long-term solution to a short-term problem.“

The reason it might be inappropriate is, of course, I’ve paraphrased it from a phrase relating to suicide. But then again, is it so inappropriate?

ScottFromWI

I think you actually answered your own question Gushna ;-) There is no logical answer as to the "why" of alcoholism, but you hit the nail on the head that you need to keep your goal in mind. Just like anything - building a house, winning a football game, graduating from school - if you don't do the work daily you won't achieve the end result. What we each "do" every day to work on our sobriety is different, but if you find being here on SR to at least read a few threads helps then by all means do it. I have been doing so for many years and learn something new every single time I come here. I'm glad you came back and hope this is the start of something very good for you.

Dee74

Hi and welcome back Gushna

Many of us have faltered a time or two.
Its easy to underestimate the task and the commitment to change we need.

Sometime I think rather than simply trying again, it's better to look at what you could add this time.

Maybe its a better plan, or more support, or better using the support you have. Maybe it's changes in the way you solve problems or deal with moods.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)

why not check out the Class of January thread too - all you have to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-2-a-15.html

D

.

least

I failed too, and had many attempts at sobriety. But it wasn't until I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink that I stayed sober for good.

Surrendered19

You don't' EVER have to worry about letting all of us down Gushna. This thing is hard. I would try and sort out more tools and strategies to add to the tool box. SR will always be here and we would lay down in traffic for you. But in the real world, some things that I added to my kit include doing something radically different than your daily routine when a crisis hits and you really want to drink. No matter who it irritates or angers, gear up and get out and walk until you drop. As long as you are sober of course, get in your car and take a drive. Drive to a part of your city that you never go to, or drive out of your city out into the countryside. Get out a cookbook and cook something you have never cooked in your life. I would also perhaps spend some time trying to figure out the things that wind you up and why.

Are you sober today???

nez

I did this time and time again. I did it because I am an alcoholic. Plain and simple fact. Until I accepted this plain and simple fact, I was going to keep repeating the behavior and wondering why. I don't do it today because I am an alcoholic. The results changed, when my behavior changed.

Sudz No More

What matters most is that you are here and care about it. You'll succeed, just keep at it.

advbike

Gushna are you okay? You were correct when you said that you need to be here reading and posting if you are serious about staying sober.

Gushna

Thank you everyone for the kind words about my slip up. I will be back on here as often as I can, if only to read. I know I need to take time for myself to do this, but sometimes it's hard since I work 2 jobs. I will keep at it though!

tursiops999

Gushna, welcome back. We're here to support you, and there is a lot of good information on this site about things that worked, and didn't work, for people who have quit successfully. Please stick around and do some reading -- there are lots of good ideas about plans you can put into place when the urge to drink strikes.

advbike

Glad to hear it Gushna! Really, that's awesome. I know you're busy but post once in a while - let us know how you're doing. We care.