aasharon90

Have you ever experienced rehab Phoebe? An inpatient or
outpatient program? Do you know of anyone near you or maybe
in your family with substance abuse and got treatment for it?

I was reminded I had an uncle of mine who battled with alcoholism
and had got sober and remained so a many a yrs before I did. That
to me was comforting to know, because I could and would call upon
him for help, suggestion, support and guidance about recovery.

I did experience a 28 day rehab stay 30 yrs ago in which I completed
along with a 6 week aftercare program before I was on my own.

When i entered back in 1990, i had no idea about rehab or recovery.

I would have to be taught everything beginning with learning how
to get all those toxins out of my system, clear my head of the fog
I was in to begin healing an accepting new information about my
alcohol addiction and its affects on me as well as those around me,
like family and friends.

This process with staying for 28 days worked for me in helping
me remain sober with 30 yrs of continuous sobriety. It allowed me
to be taught a program of recovery to use as a guideline I could
and would incorporate in all areas of my life to achieve health,
happiness and honesty.

All of us here has a different story to share about how we
have and are achieving sobriety and it will soon become
your own story down the road on how you achieve it yourself.

I shared my way with you because it worked for me. I was
30 yrs old with a little family, about 8 yrs married with 2 little
one around 3 and 6 and a stay at home mom when family
stepped in with an intervention to get me into rehab.

Did I want to go willingly, no. However, with a court order
I had no choice but to surrender and go like a whipped
puppy with it's tail between it's legs. It felt like complete
defeat sitting in the back of a police car, like a common
criminal and yet, i wouldnt hurt a flea.

With so much anger inside me for what my family did
for me, i used it to my advantage and complied with the
system and did what was asked of me to get out at 28
day plus aftercare.

From there an ultimatum was placed on me by my
husband that if i ever drank in the house again then
my azz would be out. At that moment and out of diffiance
I turned it around and used what was taught to me
about recovery and did everything possible to achieve
sobriety to throw it back into their faces.

Eventually, as I continued to learn how to let go of the anger,
resentments and settled in with a good rhythm of recovery
by attending meetings because there were no computers
back then, building a foundation I could live my life upon
free from my addiction, I found forgiveness and a gift.

Yes, there were ups and downs, changes and yet I never
let go of my lifelines and support to help me get through.

I'm older now, sober still, life changes and I'm stronger
and healthier in heart, mind and soul and yes my journey
is still going along as I continue to monitor my foundation
making sure if there are any leaks or crack needing attention
then I can take care of them so it wont come crumbling down
around me.

If you decide to go into rehab, it would be like going to
school. You would have a place to stay, food and classes
as they teach you about addiction and recovery so that
when you return home, you will have a foundation and a
guideline to help you build that foundation to live upon.

Not everyone goes that route in learning how to achieve
continuous sobriety, but for me, it worked because I worked
the program and I wanted to be sober and eventually
all the wonderful gifts I have achieved would and did
follow to get me where I am today.

See, i heard this story from others before me who got
and stayed sober and that was what I so badly wanted
and it was up to me with help and support to go get it.

I had to do the foot work with an open mind, willingness,
honesty and faith to achieve the ultimate gift of sobriety.
A freedom to experience like no other.

phoebe64

Thanks for sharing your story, Sharon. I’m glad you got your life back from that dark place, and found forgiveness.

Well, I guess I’ve got a new day 1 on the books. I slept, if fitfully and a few sweats, but, I never sleep great drunk, either. The dog will be happy to have an early riser back in the house. We’ve all been sleeping so late during the pandemic, even the dog!

I’m ashamed and embarrassed, but, it’s a relief, too, to have been honest. Now, I’ll get better care, and hopefully support and some encouragement from my doctor, rather than having a secret which causes me so much stress and anxiety.

My daughter, 21, has grown into a very kind and understanding woman. I talked to her about my plan to stop drinking and apologized for drinking the way I have been. She said it’s been upsetting, but we hugged and she has no anger, just love and care.

There’s been a lot of denial in this family for a long time. I plan to find a therapist/psychiatrist for support.

phoebe64

Oh, and to answer your question about finding a friend or family member in recovery...as far as I know, I only know one neighbor/friend who’s openly in recovery, for over 20 years. But, I’m not sure he’s the one to reach out to. The only other sober friends I have are here, or I met them here. 💕

Surrendered19

Yeah, the sober mornings are my absolute favorite part of health and sobriety. They never get old. It is just before 8 here in the upper midwest and I have already had a really great workout, showered, put a quiche in the oven for later and am sipping my second cup of coffee. I will never again give up these long luxurious mornings.

I am glad the night went reasonably well Phoebe. Don't fret over sleep at all. As you said, getting a few winks here and there and being tired today is SO preferable to having passed out drunk for 11 hours and feeling like death. You'll have all those extra hours too.

Keep busy today and plan ahead for your craving times. Remember they are just thoughts and you do not have to drink.

venuscat

Welcome back Phoebe love. s ❤️❤️❤️

I am sorry I missed your thread yesterday.....going to catch up.

With you every step honey......always. s

Mizz

So good to hear you opening up to your daughter. Support is instrumental. It does help when we can be truthful with the people we love and there is no judgement. You got this!

JustJohn

YES! YES! YES THIS! ^^^

Posts like this are so very helpful to me and others - thank you!

phoebe64

I agree, Jon! Those were very hopeful and helpful. Thanks all.

Doing ok tonight, but tired. I’ve jumped into the January 2021 class.

Steely

Just read your thread from start to finish Phoebe. You are doing great.

Can't agree more on the importance of "getting honest." Such relief.

You're on your way Phoebe, don't look back.

phoebe64

Thanks for reading and the kind words of encouragement, Steely. I had a very restless night, partly due to an evening nap, then my kids fighting Ove a bathroom at 2:45am 🙄, anxiety about calling the dr today, and obviously because I’m probably having withdrawal symptoms. A little jittery right now. I will shower, then call, so I’m ready if they have an appointment close to when I call. I hope I get someone compassionate. My previous dr was clinically good, but not the least bit compassionate. It sometimes felt like going to the principal’s office. Of course, my own guilt and shame might have projected that to some degree, but, I obviously didn’t feel like I could be completely open. The doctor and nurse the other night reminded me that there are choices, and health providers that are more relatable than others. I might ask to talk to a triage nurse, and explain, and ask if they can be sure I get someone understanding.

Wish me luck today.

Anna

I hope your doctor is compassionate, too. It will certainly help. Talking to the nurse beforehand is a good idea. Hopefully she can steer you to a doctor who has some understanding of alcoholism.

I'm glad you're taking action. And, it's normal to be scared of talking to the doctor and starting recovery. We really do understand and I hope you will continue to read and post.

venuscat

All the best for today Phoebe love ~ I think talking to the nurse is a good idea.
I have found the medical stuff in America very intimidating, and I have spoken to nurses first before I had to do some test and vaccinations a while back. And it absolutely helped.

And I hope you get to see a doctor who is knowledgeable and compassionate. s xx

Surrendered19

Let us know how the medical appt goes today Phoebe. I think you are at the point that you don't really need to look further than a nurse, unless of course the nurse thinks you need to talk to a doc. Docs can often be so egotistical and clinical and they can end up making you feel hopeless. I learned in 2020 to really lean on any other medical professional other than docs for some kindness, some compassionate care and some hope. I can take bad medical news and I had more than my share in 2020, and every time I talked to a physician's assistant or a nurse I felt better and every time I talked to a Doc I felt worse. Anyway, do whatever they tell you to do and if part of that is listening to a doom-and-gloom Doc, just listen, learn, absorb what you need to and then debrief with a nurse.

phoebe64

Thanks guys. I’ve had kind doctors. The ER guy was very kind. Not condescending, but gently pointed out that a bottle and a half of wine nightly is quite a bit. And discussing my elevated liver enzymes, was not alarmed or alarming, because, hey, is it any surprise? My prior doc was more like, this is alarming, let’s do thousands of terrifying tests!!! After all of those tests ten years ago, simply sobriety and dietary changes, plus regular exercise reversed my issues. So, I’d just like some time to get serious about that again, first. I don’t see the benefit of scary tests, if there’s no intervention that they will guide.

advbike

Good luck Phoebe, hope it goes well. Proud of you!

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, Phoebe; I am so sorry that you have been struggling but it is very good to see you.

Hope that today’s appointment went/is going well. Well done on being proactive.

phoebe64

Leigh! Thank you. Good to see you too, along with many wonderful people here. 💕

So, my dr has left the practice to a new location in the city that isn’t doable for me. I hate driving there, it’s 40 minutes or much more if traffic. It’s a large group, but none are taking new patients. I’d been sent a letter in July from my dr, recommending two colleagues, yet, couldn’t get a dr yesterday. There’s a new one coming in March. I pushed, and a nurse was supposed to call me, but, that hasn’t happened. This is completely related to covid surge and that they are beyond capacity to deal with the distance regulations and sick people, plus the rise in cases like mine...anxiety and depression, etc...

So, I’m dr shopping online, and might call a new practice, though it’s in the hospital. I really don’t want to go in the hospital for appointments during this time. I’m in Massachusetts, btw. It’s bad here right now. I’m high risk with T2 diabetes and now, hypertension. Ugh.

Bright side, I’m monitoring at home per ER advice, and numbers are down, though not normal. I probably still needs meds. It’s only day 4 for me. Maybe it will get even better as I progress in sobriety.

phoebe64

Excuse typos. I can’t seem to edit it right now. Something is glitchy. Never mind. There’s some delay after I post, and then can edit. Need to proofread better!

SweatyHands

I hope you’ve gotten some contact with a doctor at this point. I know for me, the anxiety of worrying about getting medical care caused symptoms that were almost as bad as the withdrawal itself. I also want to add, as far as the shame around people knowing that you sought medical help for withdrawal management goes, I am a Psychotherapist and had a severe relapse in November, 2019, and ended up in the hospital, and then spent a night in a withdrawal management facility being treated by a peer of mine who I had spoken to professionally before checking in there. It really was no big deal. I’m very public about my addiction, as I feel it’s important for Mental Health professionals to destigmatize addiction. But I really had nothing but support and positive response from others in my field for being public about my relapse and my recovery journey. It feels a little scary at first, but when your recovery becomes your priority, it gets so much easier to hold your head high around people who know you got help to safely get alcohol out of your life.

Great work taking steps to get help!

SoberLeigh

COVID seems to be putting extra steps and added glitches into accomplishing anything these days. Hope that you can find a good doctor and get an appointment soon, Phoebe.

Day 4 is great, Phoebe; please stay close and lean on us. We are here for you 100%.