Pureself

I know this sounds like a very obvious question but I am interested in why people finally decided to quit drinking?

What kind of situation were you in? How old were you? How does the reality of sobriety and recovery compare to the expectation?

As many or as few details as you like would be great!

Reid82

Quit or die, it was as simple as that. I was in a bad situation, real bad. I had a taste of recovery at 31, but never really wanted it fully, thought I could still have my cake and eat it so to speak.

Decided to give it a proper go at 36. I'm 38 now and sober nearly 20 months this time around. Life has it's ups and downs (as has it with non addicts too) but overall
things are a hell of a lot better than when I was a drinking man so yea, it was worth it.

anxiousrock

Because I was sick of not knowing what I did.

AthensDawgs

Some reasons.
1. I'm 37 and I saw the direction I was heading(it was ugly). It was a vicious cycle and I kept on repeating it and I honestly wasn't going to see 39-40 the way I was going. I was drinking a ton pretty much every single weekend. It was time to get healthier in general.
2. One of my best friends passed away mid-October last year and he was also an alcoholic like myself. He was also 40. I attended his funeral and I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't put my dad, my girlfriend and friends, and my brother and his family through attending my funeral. I want to lead a productive life and so I decided to put it down,
3. Lost too many great jobs and putting my dad through sending a son to another rehab was a "get your ******* **** together" moment for me. I should have gotten my **** together many years ago but I didn't. My dad is near 80 and should be enjoying retirement, not having to be by the phone in case I call for whatever reason from a treatment facility. I had to take full responsibility and ownership and I'm trying to correct that every single day.

gatorman

Main reason was to lose weight.

Billymacintosh

For me it was realising that I was spending every possible time outside work drinking as much as I could for as long as I could without compromising my outwardly functional life, my world had become very small, my health was showing signs of suffering, I knew that continuing the way I was going could only in the end result in serious health problem
​​​and I was so tired of the shame and loathing that was my constant companion. I think the last trigger was a close friend suddenly dying of a stroke - she had been a heavy drinker for years.
I downed my last bottle February 28th 2020, I was 41 and am now a happy, healthy 42 looking forward to my 43rd
Blessings
Billy x

TheAten

I called the police (on myself) after experiencing what I can only describe as a psychotic break after drinking - let’s suffice to say, more than a 5’5 120 pound man has any right to drink and survive, let alone walk and talk. I then was contacted by a mental health triage nurse who talked to me for about an hour and told me something that I didn’t realise I needed to hear until she said it. She told me to every day look in the mirror and say, with conviction “I am worthy. I am enough”. I stopped drinking the very next day.

This “minor” incident after 15 years of fights, screaming, violent verbal abuse, black outs, passing out, it could go on... it’s surprising that after even all of that, such a seemingly minor statement (although personally I don’t feel it was minor) made by a kind person who cared switched something in the brain that had alluded me for so long.

shammy

TheAten I just wrote that on a post-it note so I don't forget it. That hit home.

Tanky

Simply put - the writing was on the wall. I didn’t think it was fair to drink myself to death in front of my children. They didn’t ask for this. They don’t deserve it. I think I am still in process of realising I also didn’t actually want to die. I didn’t deserve it , either.

Long Version: The slow realisation that I had totally cut myself off from every single activity I used to do outside of house (including walking if it wasn’t to get alcohol /cigs) and every single person I used to relate to in order to focus exclusively on drinking/gaming, my increased absenteeism from work despite loving my job , decreased efficiency/effectiveness/care factor at work despite thinking my job is vital for my clients, my financial situation getting close to critical due to my gaming/gambling, some minor legal issues due to inability to do anything but drink & game (tax audit, court over unpaid parking fines) hitting some building debris that was on the road late one night & exploding the rim of my tire (thankfully while alone) - I “quit” the day after that because I couldn’t stop thinking that could have been a child I hit in the dark that night. 🙈 lasted about 4 days, I think. yeah. Nice one, tank. Worrying that I was driving my kids DUI in the mornings when I took them to school.
Some physical signs - Eg constant GI issues, swollen & painful tingling feet , poor fine motor skills, tics, blocked/crackling ears, visual disturbances, fainting, forgetting everything, anomia/aphasia. The constant knowledge I was seriously letting my kids down over and over again simply by never really “being” with them when they were with me. Going through the motions of parenthood while married to the bottle and the screen. Knowing that I was setting them on a path of alcoholism and mental illness for themselves , as well. Knowing I wasn’t even able to look after my dog properly in the end . I think I apologised to my dog almost as much as my kids . The chain had to be broken. The damage had to stop.

The last day I drank was the day after a 30 hour drinking/gaming bender. (My kids & dog were with my ex. so =free pass for Tanky) I bought more alcohol twice during those 30 hours. No idea how much I drank or how much money I spent. I was feeling very ill , of course, the day after, so only had 4-5 drinks to “settle” things down from the bender. But I just remember finally really knowing just how insane that was . No more.

so yeah, I really hope this sticks. Because I think the stakes were getting a bit high.

Bonnefond87

I didn't want to be that person - I really disliked her - smelly, fat, unfit and miserable to be with. Now - well I'm pretty awesome!

Hodd

Simple answer: To get a life.

What I had as a drinker wasn’t a life. It was a boring and chaotic existence. To “get ones life back” is the stuff of cliches, but it’s 100% true for those who’ve stopped drinking.

Tanky

.. Oh, I forgot to say my age, I turned 48 a few weeks ago. My central addiction - aka alcohol - has pretty much been with me my whole life , with some minor periods of sobriety that fooled me into thinking I wasn’t an alcoholic (Eg when I started my relationship wit my ex, when I was pregnant, when I previously tried to get sober in 2017, when I was a serious athlete in my late teens). I don’t even remember when I took my first drink because my parents believed kids should be taught to drink alcohol so they didn’t develop problems with it. 😂

LateBloominCait

Because I want to live into my old age, not die before I turn 40. I have a son with special needs and he needs me to be sober, present and healthy.

vkf

Ha simple question with about 100 answers 🤣..

Finally hit my bottom.. Too many years wasted being in a fog. I'm 47 and can't remember years of my life. So best answer is to save myself from myself. And as a bonus saved my family.

Best choice ever!!

FreeOwl

when I was 14.... maybe the first time I ever got truly drunk.... I got REALLY drunk. Like, blackout, vomit all over myself, hungover for two days, alcohol poisoning drunk.

Within a few weeks I was back at it.

My life from there on was punctuated by episodes like that, alongside also ample amounts of moderate-to-heavy drinking that didn't really seem to negatively impact me and seemed to be 'what people did' based on where I grew up, what I did for a living, the social circles I was in, where I went to school, my time in the Army.... etc.

And all along the way, my drinking left a trail of pretty direct, pretty obvious evidence that it was a problem for me. Not always a problem, but consistently a problem.

Finally, after a lifetime of 'high functioning' addiction / alcohol / drug use - and after two DUIs and what should really have been a third that I got 'away' without charges on.... and after two failed marriages and after numerous half-assed attempts to quit drinking, I found myself on the brink of losing my children. It was that which brought me to willingness. I made that choice because I couldn't bear to lose them, because my family made it clear to me I was no longer going to have any support from them in any way if I kept drinking, because my life was just short of that point where I was really actually going to lose it all.

Fortunately, I had not fallen to the level of despairing physical dependence nor to a traditionally envisioned "rock bottom".... so I had enough sanity in me to finally see, to finally face the reality.....

And, by that time, at 41 years old, I'd amassed enough ongoing evidence from my own personal experiences that simply by getting honest about them and getting help and using the tools of sobriety, I was able to attain it.

I sometimes wish I'd 'gotten it' the first time I was sentenced to AA after a DUI.

I sometimes wish I'd 'gotten it' in my 20's when I nearly got thrown out of the Army due to a drunken incident.

I sometimes wish I'd 'gotten it' that first time I got absolutely obliterated at 14 and probably nearly died of alcohol poisoning......

But, mostly I'm just grateful to have gotten it.

And to be free of that demon.

aasharon90

I didn't think I had a serious problem with drinking, cheating,
lying, stealing, manipulating, controlling, a list of character
defects during my drinking career. Until, family stepped in
when i hit my bottom and just wanted to sleep or check out,
calling it quits on life, feelings of defeat and just fed up.

August 10, 1990, family made calls seeking help and direction
as to what and where I should go for help due to my state
of mind at that time after taking a hand full of pills.

With a court order to have me picked up by authorities,
I took my one and only ride in a police car heading to
a hospital for evaluation. That first night i spent there in
a psych ward amongst many sick folks and let me tell
you, it was the scariest place I had ever experienced.

Folks shuffling as they walked, folks hugging the wall,
just so sad to witness. In my mind, i knew i wasn't that
far gone.

The next day, my first full day sober, no alcohol, August
11, 1990, some 30 yrs. ago, i was evaluated with the only
real problem with, as ..... a drinking problem. So, that day,
i was sent upstairs to a place called Silkworth and a floor
where patients with addiction were housed and kept for
rehab.

For 28 days i stayed, where I was taught about my addiction
and given the gift of a recovery program I could and would
use as a guideline to live my life upon each day once i was
released. There was a 6 week outpatient aftercare program
attached in which i also completed before i was on my own.

Once i had this program and knowledge taught to me, i used
it to my own advantage to not be thrown out of my little family
which was an ultimatum if i ever drank in the house again.

For me, i have a problem with folks telling me what to do
and how dare you do that to me. So, that was the fuel and
driving force to remain sober and learn all that was necessary
to achieve what I wanted and needed to remain sober no
matter what.

There has been many lessons to learn along my journey
in recovery, and today, i continue to remain teachable because
there is always room for improvement within myself and life
around me.

Faith, AA and support strong is what helps me remain
successful in my own quest for a healthy, happy, honest,
sober way of life on a continuous bases.

Aellyce

First I wanted to quit just before I turned 40 (I drank alcoholically through my 30s, not much before) but that didn't work out. Now 6 years later, at 46, I'm using a very different approach and feel determined it'll last.

Why? I had plenty of negative effects on my physical and mental health. And while my life never fell apart in big ways, the drinking was limiting the realization of my potentials and goals in very serious ways, and for way too long. I started a bunch of exciting new things (mostly career) in 2020 and knew if I continued drinking, nothing would go very far and I would regret it sorely later, much like I regretted the opportunities I didn't grab earlier in my life, or probably even more as we don't keep getting them forever, time does run out. Acutely, a relatively short and fast mental health spiral led to my quit almost 6 weeks ago: I did and said things intoxicated that were really scary, and I knew continuing it would likely lead to growing chaos. I actually feared that the mental health episode was more serious and complex than just the effect of my drinking, but stopping and changing a few things in life lifestyle resolved the "crisis" pretty fast, so now I'm confident the main contributors were the alcohol and not getting out at all for days in a row. Of course I wish I had gotten sober much earlier, but this wasn't a bad moment either and I'm grateful it didn't happen at a "bottom" point, more during a larger progressive period in my life, which inspired me. So, based on my own experience, I would definitely not recommend to anyone to wait for any kind of personal crash to get sober, although the chaos in the world in 2020 did provide incentive and motivation for me. Ride the current I guess

PalmerSage

My story is very similar to others (no surprise there!) I had several previous attempts at quitting, the longest being 8 months of sobriety, but this time (3 years in) I felt very "done." I was SO sick of drinking, sneaking to buy alcohol, rotating liquor stores, paying with cash so there was no paper trail, drinking increasing amounts earlier in the day, disposing of empties, trying to appear sober, looking and feeling TERRIBLE, eating junk food to recover, struggling to function, seeing my life shrink smaller and smaller, the despair and isolation - all of it. I was telling myself the lie that I was a "functional alcoholic," all while functioning at about 20% of my God-given capacity. This time, I got "real" with myself and shut down the habit of romanticizing alcohol, played the tape forward, avoided the wine and beer aisles like they were poison (I still do that). I also found a SR class where I posted at least once a day about how I was feeling, and called myself out when it seemed like I was viewing alcohol as a relief, rather than as the life-killer it truly is for me. Nothing major (DUI, ruined relationships, financial problems, etc.) had happened, but I 100% recognize that those things were in my future unless I stopped - and stayed stopped.

ScottFromWI

Lots of great responses here, and many of the reasons listed hit home with me too. I was 42 when I quit for good but had made several half-hearted attempts to moderate/cut back in my late 30s and early 40s. Bottom line for me was that alcohol, and my behaviors surrounding it were destroying everything around me. My physical health was deteriorating quickly, and it's startling how rapidly things started to get bad after many years of heavy drinking with seemingly little effect. It's kind of like your body eventually just starts giving up, but it's literally a roll of the dice as to when that might happen to anyone.

Looking back though, my behavior surrounding my drinking was even more destructive than the physical toll it was taking on my body. Specifically, the selfishness of me putting alcohol first over my family, job, health and literally everything else.

nez

Because I finally awoke to the fact that I was in hell and didn't want to be there anymore.