FishingDude30

I felt so behind in life. Most of it could be attributed to the way I drink. The blackouts and humiliation were a constant. I went to a counselor hoping that he would help me learn to moderate my drinking. That’s kind of funny now that I can more clearly think about it. I’m 30. Have a little over 6 months off the booze/weed. Life is wayyyy different. Basically learning how to live again. The old way sucked so I’m not complaining! Happy New Year!

Suzieq17

Finally ready to face my past and start living my life in the present. I am a pretty awesome chick—I’m ready to be me again. I’ve endured 25 years of self inflicted wounds and survived—the future looks very bright to me 😊

Chancellor

I first quit for 3 months last summer - longest I've ever gone since I started drinking at 15. On day 108 I decided to try to drink like a 'normal' person again and re-introduce alcohol back into my life. I ended up drinking once, sometimes twice, a week for the next 6 weeks - each time escalating, black outs returning, slightly affecting my career, late drunk calls to friends, feeling embarrassed, etc..., until Christmas eve when I made a decision that was fully driven by my addiction and not my better judgement. I needed alcohol so bad, I went and got it when I should not have, and that's when I realized that it had yet again taken over me. For me, alcohol becomes everything. If it's in my life, it is my life. All my decisions, planning for the day, everything, revolves around when/how/what I will drink. I felt so horrible when I got home xmas eve with that wine, when I'd realized it had me again, that I did not even open the wine. I realized it had me again. The guilt sucked and lasted for days. I remembered how good those three months actually were and how, when alcohol was just not an option, life is actually easier. It's when it's an option that it's extra tough and it always wins. So now I am on Day 8.
Thank you Pureself for starting this thread, that felt good to type out.

Delilah1

I just posted a thread about hitting the five year mark today, it sums up my why and how much better life is sober. I know you talked about making January 1st your day one, sounds like the perfect way to start the new year to me.

least

I was sick and tired of always being either drunk or sick or passed out. I knew I had no future if I kept drinking. I am so glad I got sober. My life isn't perfect now but it's so much better and being sober to face life's challenges is a better way to deal with it.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I did and said things I greatly regret while I was intoxicated.
Also, I used to get too sick to function while I was coming down from a drunk.

Steely

The shame, humiliation, not reaching my potential, the self hatred, are what drove me. I was pitiful, publically drunk often. No place to hide. I knew deep somewhere I was better than that.

Escape childhood abuse, loss.

Learning to care about myself now. So worth it.

BornSurvivor

It was ruining my life. I had nothing and I couldn't do anything.. I had no money, I couldn't keep a girlfriend, I couldn't keep a job, I couldn't pay my bills and I was constantly getting in trouble with the law. It was a nightmare.

One of best days of my life if not the best day was when I decided I had had enough and it was time to quit drinking.

MissPerfumado

I got to the point where I could see and feel real horrible damage being done and I got scared.

Damage to my health (constant dull ache in my lower right side, gagging when brushing my teeth in the mornings, inexplicable allergic reactions, unsteady hands)...

Damage to my professional standing (too many mornings dragging myself late into work or not at all, working into the evenings with my office door closed and a hidden bottle of wine, drunken conversations if people called too late in the day)...

Damage to my mental health (paranoia, anxiety, low mood)...

Damage to my relationships, damage to my financial situation, low-level chaos threatening to grow unmanageable...

I could see it being barely held together and knew it would soon tumble out of control and I finally got scared enough to do something about it. I just did not want to be the person who lost it all to alcohol.

At 42 years old, I finally quit for good. Was not religious but a few weeks before I finally quit, I handed the problem over to someone I felt comfortable enough with and close enough to, whom I thought would help. I wrote out in a notebook: Jesus, please help me solve this.

Brilliant thread, pureself.

RAL

such an amazing comment this Chancellor, thank you. Sums it up perfectly for me too. I've never thought of it in those terms before but it is exactly that. Thank you

Outonthetiles

I'd reached the end of my tether. I was headed for a huge failure of some type: homeless, jobless, or death. Something really really bad was going to happen, and I knew I had to stop.

relena

Seeing what alcohol was doing to my physical appearance. I look like a dumpster fire. It's pathetic and sounds so vain, but it was a wake up call for me. I knew I had lost so much more because of alcohol than whatever looks I once had. I just didn't know the extent of what it was doing to my body until I saw just how ugly i've become.

Also the last two times I binged, I noticed a new withdrawal symptom - dry heaving and puking up foam. I still never consulted Dr. google on that, I just knew it wasn't right.

zoobadger

For many years, anything in my life other than drinking was becoming less valuable compared to my need to drink. Then, finally, only drinking mattered. And by then, I couldn't even function anymore so I finally owned up to my GF (now wife) and checked into rehab.

Sobriety is WAY better than I imagined. It hasn't been effortless, but it hasn't been as challenging as I thought. Rehab, therapy, and AA all help. Im not a huge AA participant, but meetings and fellowship helps. This board too.

Chancellor

Ral, honestly, after I wrote that sentence, I took a deep breath while re-reading it and really digesting what was pouring out of me. It was pure truth and it is something I need to re-read myself over and over as I continue on this sober path. Alcohol becomes my everything. When it is in my life, it is my life.
Stay strong my friend.

Lpg

I quit at 26, I knew I was in trouble. I'm glad I realised when I did I'd most likely be dead or in jail by now.

Now I feel so dramatic saying a sentence like that, but it's true. I'm glad it seems dramatic because my life is so far from that now I don't recognise it or regret giving it up.

AwkwardKitty

I decided to quit long before I actually did manage to quit. I had many failed attempts.
In the months before my final day 1, things had deteriorated badly and I was prioritising alcohol above all else, even my family. This was the catalyst for me finally taking action.

C0ntr0ls

I stopped because I was tiered of it and the writing was on the wall. I lost a lot and had gotten away with a lot.
It has been way better then "expected" but I didn't set any expectations only to not drink and take what I get.
The below isn't 100% the result of not drinking but it played a big roll. The list isn't in any order.
-Switched jobs.
-Paid off all debts and I mean all. This has taken a bit to get used to.
-Rounded up all money for retirement and invested that.
-Reconnecting with people from the past.
-Reduced anxiety.
-Starting a side business to occupy my new free time.
-Being the father to my kids as they deserve.

Dee74

I was living simply to drink -0 my world had shrunk to a three room apartment and the only time I went out was to get more alcohol (and sometimes food along with the alcohol but not always).

I was falling frequent and not sober enough to fall 'well' and avoid injuries. The injuries were getting worse (head injuries).
In what some might call a moment of clarity I saw I had a clear choice of live or die.

The one thing I want to get across is tho - it needn't have gotten that bad...
there was no requirement to suffer that much.

I could have and should have sought help sooner.

D

PuckLuck

Here's what alcohol has done to my life.

I went from being a fairly functional adult, college graduate, having a professional career into...

- Yearly stints in psych wards
- Quitting jobs
- Moving halfway across the country with no plan multiple times
- Getting in trouble with the law/police
- Fights and arguments with friends and family
- Losing all of my relationships
- Losing all of my money, blowing my 401k
- Sued for unpaid debt
- Bankruptcy
- Living with my parents, unable to take care of myself
- Unemployment
- Depression and suicidal thoughts
- Humiliation & disgust
- Gateway to other drugs

Alcohol sure is nice, isn't it?

Pureself

Thanks everyone. I've really enjoyed and appreciated reading your replies...

For me I've quit to finally be myself. I'm sick of hiding from who I really am, I want to unapologetically accept my flaws and just be me. I want to live to my true potential and know what that is. I want to be proud of who I am.

Alcohol has enabled me to live a very cowardly life, I have no emotional strength or maturity. Little by little my soul is shrinking as is my life and alcohol is filling the void. Time to tip the scales in the other direction.

My physical health is also in decline, alcohol is finally taking its toll and it appears I am not as indestructible as I thought I was, I also have a very firm feeling that this is something I will not get many chances to correct.

Day 2.