Scary but no cuts or injuries
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
That is very scary EndGame, I am so glad you weren't physically hurt. Maybe they will be able to trace your phone somehow. Sending giant virtual hugs your way, and definitley hoping for a better 2021 for all of us.
Delilah
Delilah
EndGame
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
It's been great reading through this thread. Thank you to everyone for your empathy and your support. No one gives as much as the people who come here to give and ask for help.
It truly makes a big difference to me. I feel safer now.
I had my typical delayed physical and emotional reaction. I wrote in my first post that I was imagining myself to be dead. I had a flash of something in the first few seconds of this fantasy, something I hadn’t know before, but it just as quickly disappeared.
Intermittent mood swings, anxiety, sadness, gratitude, anger, relief, a sense of loss. I try to allow my feelings and my reactions to events to unfold without my interference. It’s always been the best way for me.
. . .
For everyone who wondered out loud:
Yes. I saw my therapist today as on most Wednesdays. I didn't want to talk to anyone that same night, Monday. I spoke to a good friend on Tuesday night, a sensei who taught me in the past. I've used therapy for a good part of my life. I started back up again about two-and-a-half years ago. Sometimes it feels routine, and sometimes I feel stuck. It has, a few times, brought me to places I’d never been. It’s a good thing.
I locked the phone remotely using Find My iPhone as soon as I got home. The guy already bought an iPhone 12 on Amazon using ApplePay. A friend of mine asked why I gave him the passcode. I said, “because he had a knife.” Then he asked, “How would he know it’s the real one?” I waited a few seconds before suggesting that the guy might try it out before running away with my phone. Which is what he did.
The detective wanted me to keep the phone active so that I could send him updates on the location. When you change the passcode remotely, the phone can still be tracked even though no one can connect it to the Internet. That in itself is a little scary.
I know I've brought this up before, but not in a while. I've been training in two different styles of karate (consecutively) for the past thirty-seven years. Shorin-ryu matsubayashi Okinawan style karate and Shotokan karate more recently. I won a gold medal and a bronze medal at the 2016 US Karate Federation National Championships and Team Trials in Pittsburgh. I’ve also trained in kickboxing.
I started training about three weeks after I got sober in April of 1983. It became a wonderful obsession, and the work paid off. If you don't learn it along the way, then someone needs to tell you what to do in the event that your assailant has a knife. No matter how many times you practice, it's nothing at all like the real thing. Same with fighting without weapons.
The first thing to do is nothing; unless if doing nothing will lead to immediate physical harm or death. The second thing to do is to do whatever the person with the knife tells you to do. I don't own anything that's more valuable than my life.
I was satisfied afterwards that I was able to do what my many years of training had taught me to do. It worked, and I couldn’t be more grateful. It's going to take time work through the fear.
You may not be able to see it in the words. Sometimes writing things out can provide much-needed structure when the ground shakes underneath us.
It truly makes a big difference to me. I feel safer now.
I had my typical delayed physical and emotional reaction. I wrote in my first post that I was imagining myself to be dead. I had a flash of something in the first few seconds of this fantasy, something I hadn’t know before, but it just as quickly disappeared.
Intermittent mood swings, anxiety, sadness, gratitude, anger, relief, a sense of loss. I try to allow my feelings and my reactions to events to unfold without my interference. It’s always been the best way for me.
. . .
For everyone who wondered out loud:
Yes. I saw my therapist today as on most Wednesdays. I didn't want to talk to anyone that same night, Monday. I spoke to a good friend on Tuesday night, a sensei who taught me in the past. I've used therapy for a good part of my life. I started back up again about two-and-a-half years ago. Sometimes it feels routine, and sometimes I feel stuck. It has, a few times, brought me to places I’d never been. It’s a good thing.
I locked the phone remotely using Find My iPhone as soon as I got home. The guy already bought an iPhone 12 on Amazon using ApplePay. A friend of mine asked why I gave him the passcode. I said, “because he had a knife.” Then he asked, “How would he know it’s the real one?” I waited a few seconds before suggesting that the guy might try it out before running away with my phone. Which is what he did.
The detective wanted me to keep the phone active so that I could send him updates on the location. When you change the passcode remotely, the phone can still be tracked even though no one can connect it to the Internet. That in itself is a little scary.
I know I've brought this up before, but not in a while. I've been training in two different styles of karate (consecutively) for the past thirty-seven years. Shorin-ryu matsubayashi Okinawan style karate and Shotokan karate more recently. I won a gold medal and a bronze medal at the 2016 US Karate Federation National Championships and Team Trials in Pittsburgh. I’ve also trained in kickboxing.
I started training about three weeks after I got sober in April of 1983. It became a wonderful obsession, and the work paid off. If you don't learn it along the way, then someone needs to tell you what to do in the event that your assailant has a knife. No matter how many times you practice, it's nothing at all like the real thing. Same with fighting without weapons.
The first thing to do is nothing; unless if doing nothing will lead to immediate physical harm or death. The second thing to do is to do whatever the person with the knife tells you to do. I don't own anything that's more valuable than my life.
I was satisfied afterwards that I was able to do what my many years of training had taught me to do. It worked, and I couldn’t be more grateful. It's going to take time work through the fear.
You may not be able to see it in the words. Sometimes writing things out can provide much-needed structure when the ground shakes underneath us.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,787
(((Endgame))) So sorry this happened to you. I understand the fear all too well. I was assaulted many years ago in my apt and couldn't escape cause my toddler daughter was sleeping down the hall. 
I understand the fear for your life.
I get so sad when I see what some of us have come to.
I understand the fear all too well. I was assaulted many years ago in my apt and couldn't escape cause my toddler daughter was sleeping down the hall. 
I understand the fear for your life. I get so sad when I see what some of us have come to.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Compliance is often the best option, even if you have others. Probably your martial arts background would have been helpful if they'd have been unwilling to stop with just taking your stuff. It's normal to have PTSD and a lot of emotional issues after being robbed! That doesn't make it better but just knowing what you're feeling is normal helps to move through the process.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Sorry you had to go through that experience Endgame, the worst thing about it is how it makes you feel anxious and uncomfortable when going about daily life. The fact that it was around 3pm on a Monday makes it worse somehow.
This is unlikely to be of huge comfort, especially so close to the event but when after a time, you try to frame the assault in some sort of perspective there are those dry statistics in the background that indicate such events are not commonplace and therefore it would be surprising if lightning were to strike twice.
I suppose there is something to thank your sobriety for too. Who knows if you would have reacted as well if you were even mildly intoxicated or hungover.
I'm really glad that you came through the assault physically unscathed Endgame, I hope they are caught before they actually use the knife on someone.
This is unlikely to be of huge comfort, especially so close to the event but when after a time, you try to frame the assault in some sort of perspective there are those dry statistics in the background that indicate such events are not commonplace and therefore it would be surprising if lightning were to strike twice.
I suppose there is something to thank your sobriety for too. Who knows if you would have reacted as well if you were even mildly intoxicated or hungover.
I'm really glad that you came through the assault physically unscathed Endgame, I hope they are caught before they actually use the knife on someone.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
You are safe. Your training paid off big time and now you are processing. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
In reading your response I can see how all of your training in martial arts, in sobriety and with therapy has paid off. I hear someone who has many tools that they are using to get through a very traumatic life altering experience.
You are doing exceptionally well despite what has happened. An example for all of us, EndGame.
Once again, I am very sorry this happened.
In reading your response I can see how all of your training in martial arts, in sobriety and with therapy has paid off. I hear someone who has many tools that they are using to get through a very traumatic life altering experience.
You are doing exceptionally well despite what has happened. An example for all of us, EndGame.
Once again, I am very sorry this happened.
EndGame
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by saoutchik 
I suppose there is something to thank your sobriety for too. Who knows if you would have reacted as well if you were even mildly intoxicated or hungover.
Going to meetings back then -- many, many meetings -- went along with my training. They complemented each other. Which is a nice way of saying that I didn't feel completely crazy all day, every single day.
Meetings all day and night, all over the city. The after parties were held in the local coffee shop. I was a quiet guy. It forced me to learn to listen. That and that life I ruined.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
(((Endgame))) 
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are a wise person (I've read your posts since joining SR) and it sounds like you are allowing yourself to fully process all of your emotions in a healthy manner. Take care....
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are a wise person (I've read your posts since joining SR) and it sounds like you are allowing yourself to fully process all of your emotions in a healthy manner. Take care....
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