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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 16
New here
Getting close to self destruction. Lost hope, making big mistakes and scared. I know I'm not alone with these problems. No one to blame. I'm drinking way too much. I know what needs to be done if I find the will.
Last edited by Wheredsdatimego; 10-28-2020 at 11:03 AM. Reason: Spelling mistake
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
I know it's hard to see but you can do this. I was a daily drinker for many years and here I am now at 9 months sober. It can happen for you, too. One thing I do know is that sobriety can bring and end to the desperation you are feeling.
In my experience, sobriety, at the very least, brings clarity and better emotional stability.
In my experience, sobriety, at the very least, brings clarity and better emotional stability.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,068
Welcome! I hope you can stop drinking soon!
I could not quit on my own. I needed to go to detox to be in an environment with no alcohol and surrounded by other addicts for support. Over seven years later, I use the help of this forum and AA meetings to stay sober. Read around and post often--it works if you work it!
Here's some good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-2-a-4.html
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7533059 (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 505)
Many AA meetings are online with Zoom or similar formats. I suggest you check your local group. Here is one listing out of thousands (near Seattle, Pacific Time GMT -7h). There are several noon meetings starting soon.
https://eastsideaa.org/meetings/?tsml-type=ONL
I could not quit on my own. I needed to go to detox to be in an environment with no alcohol and surrounded by other addicts for support. Over seven years later, I use the help of this forum and AA meetings to stay sober. Read around and post often--it works if you work it!
Here's some good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-2-a-4.html
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7533059 (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 505)
Many AA meetings are online with Zoom or similar formats. I suggest you check your local group. Here is one listing out of thousands (near Seattle, Pacific Time GMT -7h). There are several noon meetings starting soon.
https://eastsideaa.org/meetings/?tsml-type=ONL
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,388
Glad to have you here, Wheredsdatimego. And btw getting and staying sober doesn't really take some titanic superhuman act of will. It's a skill that pretty much anybody can learn with dedicated sustained effort and attention. SR and the wise caring people who post here can help you learn the sober skill. Welcome aboard.
Like your name too. Where exactly does all that time go, excellent question!
Like your name too. Where exactly does all that time go, excellent question!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Welcome, if you get some time maybe put together a post with some background, your struggles, your goals and we'll share our experiences with you. If you want to quit drinking, this is a great place to start.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 16
Thankyou
Thankyou to everyone who replied. I would check into a recovery clinic but I take care of my 90 yr old dad a bit, wish there wasn't codependency. I hope I can find the will to quit, my behavior is selfish. Well, thanks again. I look forward to connecting here more.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
welcome Wheredsdatimego 
Often the first step is the really obvious one of putting the bottle down and using the support here to keep it down.
I know it must be rough to take care of your Dad, do you have any help with that?
D
Often the first step is the really obvious one of putting the bottle down and using the support here to keep it down.
I know it must be rough to take care of your Dad, do you have any help with that?
D
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
The only way I learned how to quit was from SR.
My minimal AA visits didn't really get to the heart of what I was dealing with.
Some folks are more about feelings, some (like me) are all about the science of addiction.
The science is about dopamine, endorphins, adrenaline, and melatonin.
Once I realized that booze altered those things I was able to suffer through to this much clean time.
I was just in the kitchen finishing dinner when a wave of crave ran through me. I had about 10 little animal cookies and some milk and the crave is gone.
Sometimes I just suffer through. Just depends on the situation.
The crave morphs. Suffering and time. I am med free and dealt with hellish agoraphobia in my early days booze free.
I pray that the hell I traveled through is burned into my soul.
You can do it.
Thanks for the therapy.
My minimal AA visits didn't really get to the heart of what I was dealing with.
Some folks are more about feelings, some (like me) are all about the science of addiction.
The science is about dopamine, endorphins, adrenaline, and melatonin.
Once I realized that booze altered those things I was able to suffer through to this much clean time.
I was just in the kitchen finishing dinner when a wave of crave ran through me. I had about 10 little animal cookies and some milk and the crave is gone.
Sometimes I just suffer through. Just depends on the situation.
The crave morphs. Suffering and time. I am med free and dealt with hellish agoraphobia in my early days booze free.
I pray that the hell I traveled through is burned into my soul.
You can do it.
Thanks for the therapy.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 64
I'm not sure how to help but here goes:
The first true day of not drinking will not be pleasant. If you are similar to me your anxiety will through the roof. My mind is suddenly gripped with the idea that I'm not drinking, it goes into 'Red Alert' mode and wont shut off. Find things to do to occupy your mind. Even if its as droll as playing solitaire. Just find something to do and do it. Long walks perhaps. The true test will come when its time to sleep. If you are like me, the night will be restless with maybe an hour or two of sleep, but you are almost to your first full day sober.
The second thing, you must eat. I say this because I lose my appetite when I cease drinking. I find that I can make it through day two a lot easier if I have a few decent light meals.
You may experience the same thing as I said for the first day for a few more days. But for me the worst day is day 1 and 2. After that the physical addiction is gone. Then the mind game begins.
I must stress that when the cravings start, find something to do. Do you have a project around the house? Work on it. Or as I said earlier, find a online game to play. It helps me.
Try to keep your hydration up with lots of water.
Post here when you feel a craving or just to check in.
After about a week or two, an opposite thing starts to develope with me, if I began to think that I'm going to drink again, I begin to suffer from anxiety(Red Alert mode)due to all the negative things drinking does to me. Again, find something to do. Anxiety is a double edged sword. It is warning of the bad things that drinking will do but also can trigger a binge/relapse if you dont have a plan.
I hope this helps.
Stay strong, we all rooting for you!
The first true day of not drinking will not be pleasant. If you are similar to me your anxiety will through the roof. My mind is suddenly gripped with the idea that I'm not drinking, it goes into 'Red Alert' mode and wont shut off. Find things to do to occupy your mind. Even if its as droll as playing solitaire. Just find something to do and do it. Long walks perhaps. The true test will come when its time to sleep. If you are like me, the night will be restless with maybe an hour or two of sleep, but you are almost to your first full day sober.
The second thing, you must eat. I say this because I lose my appetite when I cease drinking. I find that I can make it through day two a lot easier if I have a few decent light meals.
You may experience the same thing as I said for the first day for a few more days. But for me the worst day is day 1 and 2. After that the physical addiction is gone. Then the mind game begins.
I must stress that when the cravings start, find something to do. Do you have a project around the house? Work on it. Or as I said earlier, find a online game to play. It helps me.
Try to keep your hydration up with lots of water.
Post here when you feel a craving or just to check in.
After about a week or two, an opposite thing starts to develope with me, if I began to think that I'm going to drink again, I begin to suffer from anxiety(Red Alert mode)due to all the negative things drinking does to me. Again, find something to do. Anxiety is a double edged sword. It is warning of the bad things that drinking will do but also can trigger a binge/relapse if you dont have a plan.
I hope this helps.
Stay strong, we all rooting for you!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,966
Hello Where
Welcome to SR
Maybe 'urge surfing' may can help https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (For Dee-Urge Surfing)
Welcome to SR
Maybe 'urge surfing' may can help https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (For Dee-Urge Surfing)
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,068
I like seeing that green dot which indicates you are online! Once again, there are several noon AA meetings (in about an hour from when I post this) at this link: https://eastsideaa.org/meetings/?tsml-type=ONL
Here's some more good reading. As you use this site, you will come to recognize the moderator @Dee74 . This is his story:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Dee74's story - Part One)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (Dee's Story Part 2)
Here's some more good reading. As you use this site, you will come to recognize the moderator @Dee74 . This is his story:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Dee74's story - Part One)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (Dee's Story Part 2)
xxx
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