Primativo

I've been there after 5 months, my longest ever. Once you drink it's easy to get back into the routine again. I was at nearly three months back in May, and I drank. I've been drinking on and off since then, not managing more than a week or so. I was on day 5 last night and I had a strong craving to get a bottle of wine. I knew deep down it was a bad move, but I just wanted to drink. Probably not helped by the fact my brother had a few friends over and they were having a session in the kitchen. I resisted though and had a cup of tea. I played the tape forward and thought about how I'd feel this morning.

So glad I resisted. The first few weeks are the toughest and I've not managed it recently, but from my own personal experience, once the first weeks are over, it gets considerably easier.

Primativo

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sugarbear1

Urge Surfing helps with cravings: https://motivationandchange.com/urge...s...%20More%20

Jim1958

I did the exact same thing. Once I had 11 months under my belt, and I had an argument with my father. I was depressed and upset. And I wound up drinking beers. Don't beat yourself up. Just try again. Just because you drank does not mean your efforts were worth nothing, You have proved you can stop, and you can do it again. Best wishes in your recovery.

ImNotThatGuy

Not sure if it's worth anything to you, but I'm in the exact same spot. It stinks. Nice to know I'm not alone.

Silver11

Thank you SR friends for your kind words.
Starting over.

I should have seen the relapse coming. I’ve been stressed and flirting with the idea of drinking for the last 2 weeks. I didn’t know what to do with those thoughts other than push them aside and forge ahead with work, family, commitments. I wasn’t looking after myself. To be honest I don’t know how to be kind to myself. I’ll need to work on that.

Have a wonderful day! 😊

Dee74

pushing them aside doesn't really work, cos they come back - dealing with them and then short circuiting them works much better.

D

Silver11

Thank you. Your post makes this difficult time a little easier for me.

Silver11

Knowing I’m not alone means a lot. Thank you!

Wastinglife

Don't worry Superman! Alcohol is your Kryptonite! Lex Luthor is fresh out of Kryptonite.

You are not alone in this struggle. Pandemic and alcoholism/addiction, uncertainty about our future. I am struggling.

Keep posting everyone!

Wastinglife

Side note: was replying to both the original poster and Clark kent

Be123

Hi Clark - and for Dee's reply below - can you both further expand on this? I'm coming up six months sober and am desperate not to allow a relapse sneak up on me. Clark - how did this relapse brew for two weeks (with the benefit of hindsight)? And dee - how does one 'deal' with this stuff (apart from the daily work that we're doing to keep sober)?

I hope you don't mind my direct questions as I hope they'll help me, possibly others and maybe even your good selves 👍

Dee74

Coming here every day, sometimes posting for myself and sometimes to others worked for me Be.
Making changes in my life about how I had fun, and how I dealt problems helped too.

I got to a place of acceptance where I knew what would happen if I drank again, and knew I couldn't risk that anymore.

I know I had to power to do anything but drink.
I was building a sober life I love.

You may still be working in progress but I don't think there's anything I did that you're not doing already Be.

D

Hodd

I’ve noticed we’re all slightly different in the way we feel and dealt with quitting. I sometimes post/read on a UK liver health forum, and a couple of characters on there needed liver transplants such was their level of drinking. They now claim to have no problems with alcohol cravings. I frankly don’t believe them. Anyone who’s ever had a drink problem has that problem for life.

What I will say, D122y, is that the crave massively reduces over time, at least for me, and I hope everyone here. Maybe it’s more of a mindset thing. I’d often like to tell someone on a bus or train to quieten down, but I resist as the consequences could be nasty. I feel the same with alcohol sometimes. It’d be nice (but not essential) to have a glass of wine, but the cravings are minuscule now and last seconds.

So I’d say the cravings do 98% go away, but it’ll take two or three months to be noticeable. Then it becomes the norm not to drink. But obviously if I ever get complacent (never say never), I’ll be drinking and craving again like crazy. Best to have a healthy fear of drinking and enjoy not doing so.

Dee74

I think we're using an unusually large definition of craving.

Do I sometimes think of drinking? there have been moments in the dead of night - 2 I can think of in 13 years - when I'm dealing with nerve pain where I think a drink in the morning might help...but that half sleep thought doesn't go anywhere when the sun comes up.

I often think about a lot of things I'll never do - give kids running amok in ALDI the sharp side of my tongue, or run a red light when I'm in a hurry - but micro seconds later common sense takes over.

Its like that, only even more fleeting - if possible.

I appreciate others feel they're forever broken and/or they will never live without wanting to drink - but that's not my experience.

I don't feel tormented by cravings anymore - and I just wanted to make that point for anyone reading.

D

Be123

At the risk of going off the point of Clark's post - my experience of 'craving' changed dramatically somewhere between 3 and 5 months. I no longer want a drink; I don't think I want a drink; I don't LONG for a drink.

I often THINK about drinking and occasionally idealise it or think: 'When so and so happens it will be great to drink'. I can play the tape through here and common sense kicks in (drinking would bring untold misery to me, for certain). I'm relaxed that those thoughts are a result of drinking being so important to me for so long in my past. But I also continue to be worried that I'm leaving a door open to future relapse.

If I was advising myself how to give up I'd say the first three months physically isolate myself and eat loads and avoid any temptation and use physical ways of a avoiding drinking. After that things like playing the tape through work, the craving is less visceral and more 'in the mind'

Hodd

Hi Dee and Be, sorry to derail Clark’s thread. I still say he’s being overly harsh on himself.

When I first quit, withdrawals weren’t pleasant with agitation, etc, and I really thought I’d feel like that every evening come wine o’clock for life. I was mighty relieved then when I felt a lot better within about two months. That’s the message I wanted to say above, i.e. that grim feeling during withdrawal is temporary (as long as you don’t drink of course).

Sorry again, Clark. Hope you’re feeling better today.

Silver11

Hi Be123,

after about 6 months sober, I started getting envious of people sitting in outdoor bars and seemingly having a good time. I think I craved social interaction more than the beer.

Being sober is wonderful. But pre-existing life problems don’t go away. Although being sober helps tackle them more effectively, problems never end. If it isn’t one thing it’s another.

At around 7 months I was feeling spread thin and after a stressful phone call from my father, I just stopped caring. When I saw signs of stress building up I should have taken time to care for myself. I should have taken a couple of days off work and caught Up on sleep and reconnected with family.

I have learned from this.