First post, looking for advice
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Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 3
First post, looking for advice
Hello everyone, I am looking for advice on what help would be most beneficial. I don’t believe I have a physical dependence because I can go days/weeks without drinking, but when I do drink, I can’t stop. It usually results in blackouts and me doing stupid ****. It has recently effected my family worse then usual, and I’m ready to stop drinking entirely. I have tried a few times in the past, but always thought I would be able to stop at two drinks, it never worked out. What do you advise my next step should be? Thank you for reading.
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Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
Originally Posted by BradVan 
Hello everyone, I am looking for advice on what help would be most beneficial. I don’t believe I have a physical dependence because I can go days/weeks without drinking, but when I do drink, I can’t stop. It usually results in blackouts and me doing stupid ****. It has recently effected my family worse then usual, and I’m ready to stop drinking entirely. I have tried a few times in the past, but always thought I would be able to stop at two drinks, it never worked out. What do you advise my next step should be? Thank you for reading.
Normal drinkers don't think twice about stopping drinking after one or two. The fact that you can't stop speaks volumes. It speaks volumes that on the 'rare' occasions that you get smashed, you drink so much that you black out and do stupid sh1t.
Look at what you wrote. It's right there.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Welcome! I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking. Not all alcoholics drink every day, but when you drink and can't stop, it's a problem.
My suggestion would be to make a plan that will help get through each day/week/month without drinking. Getting rid of all the alcohol in the house is a good plan. Basic things like eating well and exercising are good things to add to your plan. Think about situations where you drink. Maybe you need to make some changes regarding activities and people in your life. I couldn't be around people drinking alcohol for many months when I stopped drinking. The following link offers lots of information on recovery programs and things that we did:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))
My suggestion would be to make a plan that will help get through each day/week/month without drinking. Getting rid of all the alcohol in the house is a good plan. Basic things like eating well and exercising are good things to add to your plan. Think about situations where you drink. Maybe you need to make some changes regarding activities and people in your life. I couldn't be around people drinking alcohol for many months when I stopped drinking. The following link offers lots of information on recovery programs and things that we did:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
Hi BradVan, welcome to the site. One of the things I've learned about alcohol, that isn't always apparent, is that alcoholism, whilst being about how much you drink, is also about how you behave when drunk. If you are blacking out, offending people, increasing personal risk and regret, etc. then, really, anything could happen to you while in that state. To eliminate the downside risk of awful things happening, the only real way is, to give up the booze.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I don't think it even matters what the definition is.
If drinking is a problem, not drinking is the solution.
With that said, welcome, BradVan. Abstaining for short periods and then binge drinking is probably the most dangerous kind of drinking. I would add that we have all tried the Moderation Thing and no matter how long we are able to "abstain" if we go back to drinking it's game on.
Easiest and by far the best thing for me (after many failed moderation attempts) was to just throw the white flag.
Turns out complete abstinence is so much easier and so much better. Hope you join us.
If drinking is a problem, not drinking is the solution.
With that said, welcome, BradVan. Abstaining for short periods and then binge drinking is probably the most dangerous kind of drinking. I would add that we have all tried the Moderation Thing and no matter how long we are able to "abstain" if we go back to drinking it's game on.
Easiest and by far the best thing for me (after many failed moderation attempts) was to just throw the white flag.
Turns out complete abstinence is so much easier and so much better. Hope you join us.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. 
First step is making a plan for how you are going to stay sober. Reading and posting here could be part of that plan. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. 
First step is making a plan for how you are going to stay sober. Reading and posting here could be part of that plan. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I could go days and weeks as well, but with each relapse (bender/binge) the brain damage increased.
Knowing what is the right thing to do and then still doing the wrong thing to later regret it....over and over and over was not normal. It is a form of insanity and nothing will end up right in the end.
If I kept relapsing, weekly/monthly/yearly, I would surely go clinically insane and die a death that was heavily caused my addiction to booze.
Booze causes an emotional alteration of the mind. It is a neurotoxin. The damage is irreversible. The only way out is analysis and suffering. I didn't heal as much as I got used to feeling a crave for booze, anxious, nervous, obsessive etc. etc. Basically I got used to normal so far.
I still suffer daily, but I am used to it....so far. I am an addict for life. I am one relapse away from day 1 again. I put on a brave face for the world. Only SR knows that I am terrified of booze. This place saved my life. Amen.
Thanks.
Knowing what is the right thing to do and then still doing the wrong thing to later regret it....over and over and over was not normal. It is a form of insanity and nothing will end up right in the end.
If I kept relapsing, weekly/monthly/yearly, I would surely go clinically insane and die a death that was heavily caused my addiction to booze.
Booze causes an emotional alteration of the mind. It is a neurotoxin. The damage is irreversible. The only way out is analysis and suffering. I didn't heal as much as I got used to feeling a crave for booze, anxious, nervous, obsessive etc. etc. Basically I got used to normal so far.
I still suffer daily, but I am used to it....so far. I am an addict for life. I am one relapse away from day 1 again. I put on a brave face for the world. Only SR knows that I am terrified of booze. This place saved my life. Amen.
Thanks.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. First step is making a plan for how you are going to stay sober. Reading and posting here could be part of that plan. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
First step is making a plan for how you are going to stay sober. Reading and posting here could be part of that plan. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,572
It's great to meet you, Brad. I'm glad you wanted to discuss what's going on.
I was the same as you once. I didn't drink constantly, but when I did there was no telling what might happen. I never did anything about my problem drinking - and eventually I found myself drinking every day. At the end of my drinking career I was completely out of control and heading towards a dangerous end. My weekend drinking of 'a few' in the beginning had grown into all day drinking and complete dependence. It took me too long to admit that once it was in my system I became sloppy and reckless. It needed to stop - I wanted to live. I hope being here will help you see what needs to happen. We're here to help.
I was the same as you once. I didn't drink constantly, but when I did there was no telling what might happen. I never did anything about my problem drinking - and eventually I found myself drinking every day. At the end of my drinking career I was completely out of control and heading towards a dangerous end. My weekend drinking of 'a few' in the beginning had grown into all day drinking and complete dependence. It took me too long to admit that once it was in my system I became sloppy and reckless. It needed to stop - I wanted to live. I hope being here will help you see what needs to happen. We're here to help.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Brad, this is good then. Although you can't control alcohol it sounds like due to good breaks between binges you may not have to suffer through withdrawal like most. Make no mistake though, if you can't control it once you start you need to quit entirely. It is only a matter of time until you drink more often OR one of these binges ends bad for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 466
Firstly, hello and welcome I agree with the others, the next logical step is to re-estimate your opinion of how problematic alcohol is for you. You might not be addicted to the point of physical dependency yet, but that is a very temporary "yet". You have questioned whether you have an issue with alcohol... which unfortunately means your problem is very likely worse than you currently think. This is a great place full of wise people that will support you every step of the way I wish you all the best. Keep reading and remember to actively post. Posting regularly here is vital to reinforcing sobriety and refreshing your state of mind.
I agree with the others, the next logical step is to re-estimate your opinion of how problematic alcohol is for you. You might not be addicted to the point of physical dependency yet, but that is a very temporary "yet". You have questioned whether you have an issue with alcohol... which unfortunately means your problem is very likely worse than you currently think. This is a great place full of wise people that will support you every step of the way I wish you all the best. Keep reading and remember to actively post. Posting regularly here is vital to reinforcing sobriety and refreshing your state of mind.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
Originally Posted by BradVan
Hello everyone, I am looking for advice on what help would be most beneficial. I don’t believe I have a physical dependence because I can go days/weeks without drinking, but when I do drink, I can’t stop. It usually results in blackouts and me doing stupid ****. It has recently effected my family worse then usual, and I’m ready to stop drinking entirely. I have tried a few times in the past, but always thought I would be able to stop at two drinks, it never worked out. What do you advise my next step should be? Thank you for reading.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
To me alcoholism is an allergy to alcohol combined with an obsession to drink.
Once i drink alcohol i can not control how much i will drink or what i will do. Its like an allergic reaction. Sometimes we breakout in handcuffs.
If it were that simple we just wouldn't drink alcohol. If somebody has a shellfish allergy they don't eat shrimp.
We have a mental obsession that often seems to go away temporarily but it always comes back. That's the insanity of this disease, when we are sober, we know what happens when we drink but we do it anyway.
A substantial amount of us were functioning. Not all of us went through withdrawal. I didn't, I i had a full time job, a couple college degrees, technical training. I was an active runner and went to the gym religiously. My body shook out the alcohol, no problem. I'm mostly Irish and Polish its what we do or so I thought.
If you searched for AA meetings near you, you might be surprised how much you have in common with people there.
Once i drink alcohol i can not control how much i will drink or what i will do. Its like an allergic reaction. Sometimes we breakout in handcuffs.
If it were that simple we just wouldn't drink alcohol. If somebody has a shellfish allergy they don't eat shrimp.
We have a mental obsession that often seems to go away temporarily but it always comes back. That's the insanity of this disease, when we are sober, we know what happens when we drink but we do it anyway.
A substantial amount of us were functioning. Not all of us went through withdrawal. I didn't, I i had a full time job, a couple college degrees, technical training. I was an active runner and went to the gym religiously. My body shook out the alcohol, no problem. I'm mostly Irish and Polish its what we do or so I thought.
If you searched for AA meetings near you, you might be surprised how much you have in common with people there.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome Brad
I was a drinker for 20 odd years - started as a binger ended up an all day everyday drinker.
I know it's hard to consider it's a serious problem when you can go for days without drinking, but binge drinking can be as dangerous and damaging to your health as every day all day drinking.
If you can't stop once you start I believe you belong here with the rest of us.
The 100% effective treatment is to not take that first drink.
It may seem like a huge step, but there's hundreds of us here - thousands even - living better lives, not enslaved to alcohol anymore
D
I was a drinker for 20 odd years - started as a binger ended up an all day everyday drinker.
I know it's hard to consider it's a serious problem when you can go for days without drinking, but binge drinking can be as dangerous and damaging to your health as every day all day drinking.
If you can't stop once you start I believe you belong here with the rest of us.
The 100% effective treatment is to not take that first drink.
It may seem like a huge step, but there's hundreds of us here - thousands even - living better lives, not enslaved to alcohol anymore
D
Samantha
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by BradVan
Hello everyone, I am looking for advice on what help would be most beneficial. I don’t believe I have a physical dependence because I can go days/weeks without drinking, but when I do drink, I can’t stop. It usually results in blackouts and me doing stupid ****. It has recently effected my family worse then usual, and I’m ready to stop drinking entirely. I have tried a few times in the past, but always thought I would be able to stop at two drinks, it never worked out. What do you advise my next step should be? Thank you for reading.
you've made a good step by coming here....good luck on your journey.
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