Primativo

I've relapsed. Managed three months and then stupidly had a glass of wine a couple of weeks ago, fast forward and I'm now sitting here drinking wine at 8am on a Sunday. I don't want this life anymore, I just feel so disgusting drinking is the only way I can cope.. I'm going to have to wean myself off throughout the day. How did I end up here again, I hate it.

b0glerd69

Hi Priamtivo, sorry to read this. I suggest pouring any booze you have left down the sink, drink water and try and eat something and then get some sleep. When you wake up, keep hydrating and work on strengthening your sobriety plan. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get back on the wagon.

C0ntr0ls

"How did I end up here again, I hate it."
You got comfortable and listened to the AV and you drank.

Don't drink now and life gets sooo much better. Trust me.

Dee74

unless you have withdrawal fears, I think the best way to stop is sharp and swift Primativo.
stop now drink some water and you might actually feel half way decent by bedtime.

D

brighterday1234

You never have to feel like this again. Get sober, get working a program each day and your life will improve.

Misssy2

Primativo...drinking at 8am on a Sunday is the one of the worst feelings in the world...when I was drinking...I always drank in the morning because I could not stand the withdrawal symptoms from the night before...drinking in the a.m. was not a "want" for me but a "need" and even worse than drinking in the morning when I am in that condition is needing to show up at the liquor store at 8 in the morning because I didn't prepare myself better the night before or I was thinking the night before (I am quitting) but would wake up in horrible shape knowing that would not be the day I could quit.

I read back some of your posts and you drink like me...till you end in the hospital or in need of IVs....Hopefully, someone in your household can get you some supplies today so that when you are ready to "fight the withdrawal" you have some things like water, sports drinks and something easy on the stomach in place (soups and watermelon or any fruit you enjoy).

Maybe this will be the last time....For me I never know if it is the last time I will go on a bender until I am out of the fog from the detox...usually about 8-10 days and then I get a sense of if I am going to "make it" or not.

For the last 6 years everytime I cam out of a detox I did not feel "solid" in my decision to stay stopped....it was a restless uncomfortable feeling. This time I sort of feel like I did in 2005....which is a hopeful sign for my recovery...I hope when you reach the end of this bender...and I know you hope so also...that you just "get" it...and "feel" it...that you should not drink anymore...You have had enough.

venuscat

I am so sorry you are hurting like this. s

Please try and eat something, and drink some water if you can. ❤️

Gettingcloser

My horrible relapses eventually became my voice of reason when the AV showed up. Even though the cravings were very uncomfortable and very distracting in the end I got to the point where even the AV could no longer overpower the memory of my last withdrawal. I am over 2 years sober and my life has completely turned around. You can do this!

LumenandNyx

OOooooEEeeeee! I know EXACTLY where you are!

I've repeated that scenario countless times during my drinking career. Stop drinking, start again with a glass of wine or two, fast forward a couple of months and my morning coffee has been replaced with wine.

I drank that early every day to prevent the onset of withdrawal. It looks to me like you know exactly what is waiting for you around that uncomfortable corner.

The only way out of this is through it. The pain can't be endured by anyone else. Just grin and bear it - and do it.

The sooner you stop drinking and get on with the withdrawal, the sooner it'll all be over.

nez

I kept winding up in that spot because I am an alcoholic. The first step in addressing the fact that I am an alcoholic was to get out of that spot and get sober. In order to stay sober and not wind up in that spot again, I had to work on recovery. Recovery work revealed the flawed thinking that led to the destructive behavior patterns that took me back to that spot. Recovery has been an unlearning process, because the flawed thinking and destructive patterns were learned behavior. For me, recovery takes lots of introspection and being mindful. Living and maximizing time in the present moment by utilizing the lessons of introspection.

Surrendered19

How is the day shaping up Primativo? Did you dump your supply or are you drinking still? I'm sorry you drank but you can stop again. It just isn't worth it anymore right?

Anna

How are you doing Priativo? I hope you are getting through the day. You can get back to your sober life.

Primativo

I'm on my third bottle of wine....once I start I can't stop. I've had some food which has helped. I know I have horrible withdrawals to look forward to at about 5am

Anna

The way to do it is to just stop, get rid of the alcohol you have at home and don't buy anymore. You can do this. It's hard, but you can do it.

AlbaSober

You've laid the foundations of a successful recovery by logging in and telling us all about it. You post up your day 1 and we'll carry you along like the winner you wanna be.

Dee74

I may get some stick for it, but one of things I like to remind people of is you really can stop anytime.
I'm not saying it's pleasurable or easy...but it is possible.

I hope you make that choice today Primativo.

D

Primativo

I've been laying in bed since 5am, feel awful. Feel sick and anxious, when will I start feeling better.

Dee74

You know the drill - probably not for a day or two - but you will feel better - maybe getting up eating something, having a shower etc. - doing mundane self care things - might help?

D

Primativo

Tempted to start drinking again as it will make me feel better. But I also know I'll be just kicking the can down the road. Need to remember its because of alcohol I feel this bad.

MaximusD

Primativo, just reading your thread. How is it going? Drinking again would be kicking the can down the road and making it harder too.